I was widowed 8 years ago. 4 years ago, I met a fellow widower similar age to me. His wife had died 8 years previously and he had met someone shortly afterwards who he was with for 5 years. They had parted ways but remained friends. He is still in contact with her and when I first met him he went on a prearranged holiday with her where they shared a room although he said there was no sexual relationship. Since then he has been away with her once every year to visit her family but they apparently no longer share a room. He takes her because she can’t drive. He also sees her regularly as she is his friend but he refuses to introduce me to her. I do believe they are friends but it annoys me that he still visits her and does jobs for her but won’t introduce us. I now feel like I don’t want to meet her anyway. He lives 2.5 hours away from me. We’re both retired and see each other in person every other week and video call every day. In most other ways we have a great relationship. I enjoy his company very much but I don’t understand his need to keep so in touch with his ex. He has said he considers her as family and will continue to see her but he has also told me he doesn’t mention when he’s been to see her as he knows it upsets me. He says they split because she has multiple health problems and is not well so he feels obliged to help her. I found out today he has gone to a party at her house this evening so she can’t be as poorly as he’s making out if she can host a party. I feel like maybe I should look elsewhere. It’s sad because we could have a really good thing but I now feel he’s taking me for a mug.
Should I just ignore it or say farewell to him and move on?