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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask her to pay half towards buying a replacement?

25 replies

NewToRenting · 11/05/2024 19:27

A neighbour (I never met her before) posted on our community whatsapp group asking to borrow a blender to beat cream with, as she was in the middle of cooking for a party. I offered her my hand blender with the whipping attachment, and she picked it up. A few days later she returned it. Later when I took it out of the bag, I saw that the motor part was in two pieces.

I texted her a picture and said hey the blender was broken when you returned it. She messaged back with a breezy 'oh I wasn't aware, my husband packed it up, I'll get it repaired' message. She got her husband to pick it up (after a couple of reminders) and texted a few days later to say she had not been able to find anyone to repair it, and she was still looking.

In the meantime my microwave door got jammed (run of bad luck, I know!), so I was anyway going to a repair shop, so asked her to return the blender, and that I would let her know how much it cost to fix. The repair shop said they couldn't fix it. I messaged neighbour to say sorry no luck, please get it fixed. She said sure she'll try. It's been over a week now since this last exchange, and the broken blender is still with me.

It is a Braun hand blender (used regularly) with a food processor attachment (used rarely), and I am missing it sorely in the kitchen. It was a few years old but going strong and never had any problems.

Would I be unreasonable to tell her I'm buying a replacement and she can pay half? If so, how do I word the message? I'm worried that she thinks that I am trying it on, and basically foisting the cost of a new all singing dancing blender on to her.

Or should I chalk it up to experience and suck it up?

OP posts:
GerbilStyle · 11/05/2024 19:29

I didn't know repair shops still existed

crumbpet · 11/05/2024 19:29

Tell her not to worry about the repair, you'll order a new one. See if she offers. If not then don't have anything more to do with her.

BreakfastAtMimis · 11/05/2024 19:31

Suck it up and don't lend stuff out to random people ever again.

StormingNorman · 11/05/2024 19:33

How much is a replacement?

I’d probably suck up the cost but post a review/warning about the borrower in the group.

NewToRenting · 11/05/2024 19:33

I am not in the UK and luckily where I live, repair shops do exist - though they are not really qualified so I would not take expensive gadgets there. Not sure if it's relevant but the neighbour is British.

OP posts:
NewToRenting · 11/05/2024 19:35

Replacement would be converted GBP70.

I definitely do not want to post negative comments about the neighbour.

OP posts:
MrsGhastlyCrumb · 11/05/2024 19:36

Is this not possibly something that could have happened were you the next one to use it (ie it just reached the end of its life)? Or did she drop it from a great height or something? Depends which it is, essentially.

FredsRoses · 11/05/2024 19:36

I think maybe I'd tell her that if she can't get it repaired, if she buys you a replacement you'll give her half the money back. However, if she's not willing to do that, then I wouldn't lend her, anything in future. Unfortunately that's a risk that you ALWAYS take when you lend anything, whether it be money, or an item, there's always a chance you won't get it back, or it won't be in the same condition when you do. So in my opinion, better not to lend in the first place. I'm sure you've heard the old adage 'Never a lender, nor a borrower be', this is why.

NewToRenting · 11/05/2024 19:39

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 11/05/2024 19:36

Is this not possibly something that could have happened were you the next one to use it (ie it just reached the end of its life)? Or did she drop it from a great height or something? Depends which it is, essentially.

Yes it is a possibility, but she returned it in two pieces. She did not say oh I was using it and it fell apart. She did not say sorry it fell. She just bagged up broken parts and handed it to me.

OP posts:
NewToRenting · 11/05/2024 19:40

I will do as a PP suggests and let her know I am buying a new one. If she offers, I will accept. If not, I suck it up and learn from experience.
Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
MrsGhastlyCrumb · 12/05/2024 06:06

Yes, in fairness the fact that she was happy to brush it off like that and that 'her husband' just handed it back in a bag was CF in the extreme, regardless of how it came to be broken. I think, unfortunately, she likely won't offer to pay up, but you've chosen the right approach.

Anameisaname · 12/05/2024 06:11

I disagree! I'd say quite clearly to her "I really need my blender so please can you either get it fixed by Monday or I'll have to buy another to replace it and please can you contribute half of the cost as you broke it"

CircleofWillis · 12/05/2024 06:14

I would actually say that you have to buy a new blender and can't wait anymore for her to get round to fixing this one. She can buy the one they broke off you for half price and you will buy a new one.

GRex · 12/05/2024 06:19

I wouldn't bother with a repair shop for something like that in two bits, I don't see how they would fix it so that it doesn't split again.

Things break when they are loaned out, so that's the risk you take unfortunately. Someone who returned an item in two bits without a word though, that's someone I would avoid in future, I don't like selfish people. It doesn't matter if you ask for money or not; she won't pay, and offence doesn't matter because you shouldn't want to be friends anyway.

AlwaysGinPlease · 12/05/2024 07:32

This is why you don't lend to random people you don't know. I don't ever lend to anyone and I have never borrowed anything. My friends and family are all the same. Never a lender nor a borrower be I believe is the saying.

NewToRenting · 12/05/2024 16:19

Update! I texted her saying don't worry about getting it fixed, I'm going to buy a new one. She replied saying let me know if you would like me to contribute. I was busy (I do online teaching, and Sundays are my busiest days), so didn't get around to replying. In the afternoon, a beautiful and expensive looking bouquet was delivered. It was from the neighbour with an apology.
I now have no heart to demand a contribution. I think I was just offended by the way they handled it initially. I am now properly placated 😅 and will just let this go.
Thanks for all the perspectives, and I definitely will think twice before lending out anything again.

OP posts:
GRex · 12/05/2024 16:47

I'd have been more impressed by an amazon box with a braun blender sitting inside.

TheTartfulLodger · 12/05/2024 16:58

I would always say never to lend anything you really need or can't afford to replace, but probably just get a new one and don't lend anything to strangers again as they have no emotional ties to you and probably won't care the same way a close friend would if they break your things. It's nice to think we all live in a fluffy society where everyone helps everyone and everyone is nice and kind, but we don't unfortunately.

Cheshiresun · 12/05/2024 17:05

You'd think she'd pay for it all! It got broken in her possession.

That's what I would do anyway. I would feel awful.

NewToRenting · 12/05/2024 17:40

True that @GRex! But on second thoughts, I want to choose my own blender, and am going to choose an updated model with more attachments (since I don't plan to buy a full fledged food processor). I'd much rather have had the cash that she forked out for the flowers, but an apology is an apology, and I'm ok now.

OP posts:
Yabadabadu · 23/01/2025 17:11

She should buy you one herself, not pay for half, that’s ridiculous. If I broke someone’s item that I had borrowed I’d pay for it in full or buy you a new one, not go halves. How embarrassing for her.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 23/01/2025 17:18

I wouldn’t lend money without expecting never to have it back. The same principle obviously applies to objects too!

outerspacepotato · 23/01/2025 17:24

Why would she send you flowers instead of some money towards a replacement?

Why would you lend a frequently used appliance to someone you have never met?

I'm baffled.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 23/01/2025 18:06

Given it's been 8 months, I'm pretty sure the op is over it by now

Nopedontsweatit · 25/01/2025 22:10

My late husband and his 6 siblings grew up in abject poverty, but his 5 sisters married well, 2 of them really well. The youngest has never forgotten her roots and whenever she loans money, she ensures that it's for a legitimate need and then she makes sure she only gives out what she can afford not to get back. I'm only aware of her loaning to family members (including extended family that she's close to), but her husband fully supports her money decisions since she's worked just as hard as he has for it and she's very good at handling it. I imagine she'd probably handle this situation in a similar manner. It would depend on whether she could afford to buy a new item should anything happen to the one she loaned out.

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