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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Forces Rememberance Services

3 replies

Onlyforaday · 11/05/2024 17:56

Bit of a random one this but can anyone tell me what these occasions are like to attend? My estranged, deceased father was a fire officer and I have received an invitation via my stepmother. I know I could easily decline but something is making me feel the need to be there. I would be attending alone and would leave immediately it was over but is there usually a lot of socialising afterwards? I'm not sure if his friends and colleagues are even aware of my existence but the pull to go is strong. I would not want to make my relationship known to others and my stepmother doesn't speak to me if she can avoid it. However, I have very happy memories of my childhood before the estrangement so maybe that's it.
Do they just read the long list of names out or do people say a few words about each one?
I'm rambling I know but I know I'd be happier having some idea of what to expect on the afternoon.
Thanking you.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 11/05/2024 18:28

I don't know if you're talking about 11th November remembrance or whether there's a separate one for police/fire service etc. I think you should go. I'm sure your father would've wanted you to and it will be a way for you to remember him. You've been given the invitation so it could be fate calling. I'm sure there will be a formal service with speeches etc, after which you can make polite excuses and leave with dignity.

Onlyforaday · 11/05/2024 19:52

Thank you so much for that kind response :) It is a separate rememberance service for those officers who have died in our local area over the past year. Yes I think I do need to attend and see where it takes me. I might feel more at peace once it's over.
I hope to be able to keep to the back of the venue and slip out unnoticed as I just want to feel that I have honoured him. I wish my stepmother were more forthcoming about the reason for inviting me but she will not engage with me at all.
Anyway, I will send my acceptance tomorrow. Thanks again.

OP posts:
Onlyforaday · 11/05/2024 22:29

Remembrance not rememberance!

OP posts:
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