To think parents need to take more responsibility over smart phones and internet use?

[fr4zzledmum]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-68972494

(BBC article to give a flavour of the news articles currently out there discussing this topic, but this post is not specifically related to it).

There's been a lot in the news recently of the effects of smartphone and internet usage for children and the controls required to be put in place by tech and social media companies. The average age for a smartphone nowadays is 7 years old, I believe.

Lots of parents believe not enough is being done by said companies to either restrict access entirely to these services, or tailor to more appropriate content, with the feeling being that overall responsibility should lie with the companies.

But surely parents need to give themselves a shake and admit that they are the ones who hold ultimate responsibility?

I am a millennial (1992), with a child (albeit 5 years old, so much easier to control access, yes!) but I have first hand experience of unfettered access to the internet with little to no parental control apart from the usual talk of "don't meet strangers", "don't share personal details" etc. Our daughter currently has no tablet access apart from downloaded content for car journeys, and very occasional supervised access to the Cbeebies website on the family computer.

I had a phone from the age of around 12ish to coincide with the start of secondary school. Again, very different times with no smartphones or internet access on these phones, so easier to control, but why as parents are we not reverting to this? (Phones with limited ability - text and phone calls only - or basic smart phones with parental control systems in place).

I totally get how difficult it is going to be when our DD is the same age and we try to enforce this limited technology on her - social suicide! - but that's my job as a parent? To control access to harmful content or, if she has any access, to educate and monitor appropriately. I don't really care if that doesn't make me flavour of the month.

The damage from social media particularly can be immense, from mental health and body issues to providing no escape from bullying.

Yes, tech companies can and should play a part in this to help provide access to teenagers (I'd say no younger than 13-14) on a restricted basis, but parents cannot place all the blame at their door when things go wrong (sometimes very tragically).

AIBU and living in a dream world?

I agree the main responsibility is with the parents. However we all know kids will get around things, using a friends device, hiding information from parents etc if they want to, so maybe there should be better restrictions from the manufacturers too. Then I think about the age limits you mentioned, Facebook and other social media is 13 plus for most, yet little ones have Facebook sometimes. Sometimes parents allow it, sometimes kids will create a profile in secret and lie about age.
as for giving phones without the bells and whistles to protect them, that’s another minefield entirely. Kids can be cruel, and while I don’t agree that we should give our kids gucci and the top iPhone/samsung and every over the top thing to keep up with the joneses, we also shouldn’t be setting them up to be bullied either, bullying can lead to all sorts of other issues in children that can have horrible lasting effects, and sometimes teenagers even go so far as to attempt or commit suicide due to bullying. I know my children will be having smartphones when they are due to go to secondary school, they also have tablets and Xbox etc now in primary, any bullying my children have experienced so far is nothing to do with technology, no online bullying etc, and I’m proud to say one child was asked on the vr last week what her real name was and she said loudly “that’s personal, I’m not telling you”

as parents we have to educate our kids to protect information as much as they can, make sure they will inform us of anything dodgy, and keep an eye on what they are doing and what is being directed at them.

non smart phones can still be used in a way that ends up with an at risk child too, for instance if they give phone number to a stranger, stranger could manipulate and seem so nice, child doesn’t have access to seeing a profile to see if it looks fake etc, gauge the person based on posts etc, show a parent if worried

I am a millennial (1992), with a child (albeit 5 years old, so much easier to control access, yes!) but I have first hand experience of unfettered access to the internet with little to no parental control apart from the usual talk of "don't meet strangers", "don't share personal details" etc. Our daughter currently has no tablet access apart from downloaded content for car journeys, and very occasional supervised access to the Cbeebies website on the family computer.

I'm the same way, and for the same reasons, but I think parents who came of age pre-internet don't necessarily "get it" about how unsavoury it was. It reminds me of how my real-life friends (when we were teens) managed to get their naive parents to buy them 18-rated PC games, by convincing the parents that the age-rating was a difficulty rating...

I agree that parents could do more, but social media platforms could do a hell of a lot more, and should.

Imagine newspapers and magazines claiming they can't police or be held responsible for the stories their journalists print, or the adverts that appear in their publications.

Imagine movie and TV production companies claiming they can't police or be held responsible for the scenes their directors film.

Imagine publishers claiming they can't police or be held responsible for what their authors write in their books.

For generations we have held publishers, regardless of the medium, ultimately accountable and responsible for their content. Then the social media companies appeared and suckered us into believing it was unreasonable for them to be held responsible or accountable for the content on their platforms. They should be held ultimately accountable and they can police it, they just don't want to and are getting away with it. They are doing massive harm, not just to our children but to society generally and making billions in the process. It needs to stop.