To sort home out before finances

[Summerof2024]

Long story, single mum. Daughter undiagnosed autism, she struggles going into school and so our routine is not set in stone. School not very sympathetic or understanding. She's not school age yet so no worry of fines and in the process of getting doctors evidence over meltdowns so they won't fine me in the future.

House is a complete pig sty as had no mental energy to do anything to it since we moved in. Council property so left as seen. Swapped to get here. Some rooms I've half painted. It looks terrible and I can't focus on anything, as it's constantly staring at me.

But things are tight. I can't apply for regular jobs as DD can't make it into school every day- hugeeltdowns where she gets burned out if she does too many days on the trot. I've applied for DLA, despite not much evidence. Refused a diagnosis after we did the process for autism. She was observed in school where she masks.

I'm thinking I should prioritise sorting my home out before trying to improve my finances? I've got all the paint and would have to put flooring on weekly payments once a different debt is paid off. Might be easier to find a job when she's older. Have applied for a couple of grants but it's a lot of mental energy for not a guaranteed outcome.

Trying to decide basically which important thing to put my energy into first- improving finances which is stressing me out, or improving the house which is stressing me out?

I’d say finances. It would be even more stressful if you fell behind on weekly payments for flooring because of some other, unexpected, cost popped up. Get a buffer first.

I'd concentrate on getting DD settled first. Access all the support available - GP, school, support groups (Homestart?) etc.

Once she's happy and you're confident she has the support in place that she needs, you'll have more energy to tackle finances which will mean it'll be easier to then sort the house.

Can you clear her bedroom and the living room in the short term. Just declutter and make it comfortable. These 2 rooms can be a calm sanctuary.

Making the house safe is a need
Making it look nice is a want

Getting your DD support is a need
Having enough money to maintain a stable home environment, cover food and energy costs is a need

Decorating should wait although if you have the paint, I don't really understand why you can't just do it bit by bit in the evenings. Me and DH both work full time and have DD to look after, we have very little free time due to other family commitments and working long hours. If I want a room decorating that means that for about a week I'm up till very late every day decorating it. Clear it one evening, wash down and patch holes the next, woodwork the next, first coat the next and so on till it's done.

To be fair, OP is a single parent to a child who has additional needs. I think it is understandable if she is exhausted by the time her DD is settled into bed each evening.

She also has all of the responsibility of caring for the child, including medical needs, school liaison etc which both sound difficult at the moment.

I don't think it's fair to suggest OP could do better.

Thank you. OP also has a joint condition so the amount of time in a day she can spend standing up is less than most people's.

PP is also assuming my SEN child goes merrily off to bed at 7pm every night to give me an evening free and can stay asleep without support. I'd be doing any decorating or money making in the hours she does make it to school.

I've chased every avenue of support and there's nothing. No Home Start in this area- it closed down. Have Early Help involved but they do nothing except chase me up when DD can't get into school. School not interested in hearing about her needs and what she actually needs in the slightest. Been to GP, he referred to social services and they never bothered.

does sorting finances basically mean getting a job? if so and u can't do this before your daughter is settled in school and more supported then I think you can focus on getting the painting done and decluttering

but i would then stop at putting new flooring on a debt - just live with what u have or buy some cheap rugs - the fresh paint and tidy space will make a huge difference anyway

then flooring once u are in a job

Have listened to all opinions and have decided to just focus on decluttering then the finance side of things. I decluttered one room and it does feel a lot more comfortable in there.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for doing a book keeping course? İt wouldn't be my long term goal, but I was thinking I could do some private book keeping in the evenings until DD is completely settled. Maybe take on a couple of clients at a time. My mum could have her once or twice a week if I needed to do a few hours of work here and there. I have a maths A level and half a languages degree. İf not, I'll start a new thread :)