To be livid with exH

[Hibbiskibbidibop]

NC due to outing info.

On the weekend I reported my ex to the police for sending an inappropriate image to my DD. Police came to interview on Tuesday. I told him I was going no contact. He will not be having it now unless he applies via court, then I will let them decide after reviewing the evidence over the years as to what contact he should have.

Tonight I had to go take my DS2 to football training. He was there with his fiancée and her son. My son and his played on opposite sides of the field as they're different ages. Exes side finished early, so he came over and stood watching my DS2. Fine. Nothing I could do without making a scene and wouldn't want to.

We then went to leave and he followed us, shouted of my boys and then blocked them leaving out of the gate. Asked them for a hug, my honest son was okay with this. My middle son tried to move and he put his hands out to block him moving past, so that he had to hug him. I told him he was pushing it and he ignored me.

He's so creepy it's unbelievable. He never listens to consent or respects boundaries. Keeps asking DD if she has her period and to tell him when she does.

I am so fed of him getting away with everything. There's lots of back story but this is outing enough as it is. I feel like I'm going mad as he always makes me feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion. I don't know my own mind any more.

Yes I know you are right. For context: I was severely abused and gaslighted as a child by my dad. This has led to cptsd and a consequence is not trusting my own opinions, due to repeatedly being told I'm wrong.

I think I've blocked out a lot of things about my ex. Tonight I remembered him getting kicked out of uni halls for threatening to r*pe someone when drunk because she wouldn't let him in (his halls, but so drunk he couldn't open the door).

its always the meek ones that are the worst deep down. the ones that seem like they'll go along with whatever to keep people happy etc - they're the worst. I am so sorry you are dealing with this awful man, your children are lucky to have such a strong and proactive mother x

They didn't comment. They asked dd if she wanted contact with him (was due on Weds and this weekend). She said no to Wednesday. They encouraged that, but didn't make comment about further contact.
I think the officer wasn't sure what to advise because she needed to talk to her superior before any further action.

Have you/the police contacted social services? Is the school aware? You are definitely not overreacting.

This is grooming behaviour. This is what kids do DD.Why don’t you do one for me and send it.

Well done for spotting it.SS and some schools do work with children at risk of grooming behaviour. You could ask for support.

I had a split second thought of "maybe he genuinely sent it by accident?"

When I saw he had used a bereavement as an excuse that went out of the window - if it was a genuine mistake you just wouldn't need to use this as an excuse.

I also think you know him better than most and your gut is giving you all of the right indications.

So sorry you've got to deal with this fucking creep. Asking when she's started her period? Wow.

He is awful and to be asking about daughter and her period. The photo just weird. Is there anyway you can move as far away as possible from him and make a new life. Also as someone else said get a solicitor and get a letter sent to him and get advise. Also talk to Women's Aid as they may be able to advise also. You are very strong woman and a good mum and trust your gut instinct. Sorry you had to go through all this and stuff when you were younger. Take the next steps and keep a diary log of all the incidents, dates, times, places etc to build up your case.

Trust me, I've had that thought over and over again since it happened. I would much rather believe it was an accident, but feel the same as you.

The fact he didn't delete it until I called him out on it, told me to "let a man grieve for his family", and has made zero attempt to apologise to DD or ask me if she's okay says a lot.

I was really upset with myself last night. I feel so guilty for letting my children down by ignoring my better instincts until it came to this. I'm feeling more rational this morning.

I had therapy for 3 months last year and my therapist reported him twice. Nothing happened of course. I wish I'd stopped contact then when she was trying to convince me to. I just couldn't see things clearly then.

Thank you for the support I really appreciate it. I was distressed last night and writing it all down helped ❤️

I could believe someone sending a sticker by accident - it’s happened to me loads. What I can’t believe is not immediately realising and then deleting the sticker, as well as then not immediately calling you or the daughter and apologising.

blaming on bereavement is odd. Asking re period is odd. Behaviour at the football was out of line.