Would it be really tragic to go speed dating?

[Musings225]

Online dating isn't really working for me because I either worry ill turn up and they won't find me attractive or I won't find them attractive which has happened with the last two. Is speed dating even a thing anymore? I just think at least you see them face to face and know if you find each other attractive?

Someone in our area (North east england) recently posted saying they d been to one and was hoping to set up a second one.
I was surprised when I read it as its not something I've heard of recently.
I assume it s probably been done in other areas as well.

Yes, go for it. You have nothing to lose. Might even have a laugh too.

Speed dating weeds out the time wasters so you're more likely to meet someone you're attracted to that also makes you laugh and you connect with.

Two of my friends do speed dating now and again but it's only ever a laugh really.

I've never got the impression anyone takes it too seriously, although I could be wrong?

Why would it be tragic? Everyone there is there for the same reason and with similar attitudes. It’s a convenient way of meeting new people who you know are also interested in finding a relationship.

You still need something of a thick skin, though: it could be pretty brutal otherwise, thinking you’d had some good chats which could go further and then not receiving any “I’d like to see this person again” notifications at the end. Your self esteem needs to be solid and you need to be able to think rationally and in a detached way - that rejections aren’t personal or about you because those people only know snippets about you.

Nothing ventured nothing gained! A friend of mine did it after several failed relationships from online dating. He really hit it off with a girl who he wouldn't have matched with in online dating because they didn't really meet each others criteria for what they thought they were looking for, but face to face they just clicked. It must be well over ten years ago now. They're now happily married with a kid.

I met DH at speed dating ten years ago. You definitely know very quickly when you aren’t interested in someone who might have sounded good online. Agree you need a bit of a thick skin but it can also be fun, just don’t take it too seriously!

I did it a few years ago, dpeending who is organising it, it can be fun night at the worst. I did get a few good dates out of it, although some meet ups were a bit badly organised.

Nooooooooo not tragic! Sounds fab! I would if I was single and ready to mingle. Let us know how it goes.

I've only ever heard of people going for a laugh tbh not known anyone to actually meet someone that way

Go with an open mind and have fun.

My friend's favourite question is 'What books have you read lately?'

She's almost always met with a blank stare!

I went backpacking on my own round Asia over twenty years ago and, after a few weeks of all sorts of awkward conversations about where are you from what do you do etc, I settled on asking "what are you reading" as my opening question. All backpackers have a book on the go (or they did pre smart phones), and it was a lot more interesting than the usual boring stuff you find out in a first meeting and immediately forget. I found a lot of new authors I was into that way.

I went once years ago and the calibre of women was a lot higher than the calibre of men. It was an event where if you didn’t match with anyone you got to go back for free and it seemed a lot of the men were going multiple times for free.

At a bar I go to the loos are upstairs and just off from a function room. There happened to be a speed dating event on once and I walked through it to get to the toilets, it actually looked great! Everybody was well dressed and the men and women who had attended were all quite attractive. It felt like a safe environment as very public and hosts were very vigilant (they thought I was there for it and greeted me!) everybody seemed to be having quite a good time. I was surprised. I actually made a mental note that if I ended up single again I'd try it before online dating.

TBF my answer to that would be something like "Where's Spot" 🤣

I've always wanted to try speed dating though. Could be fascinating.

I did it about 10yrs ago. Best night out ever and a massive ego boost! Nothing came out of it but it was sooo much fun.