Recently turned 50 - contemplating life

[HappyCrab]

Hi
i recently turned 50 and it’s really made me start to think about life, where I’m at, what’s ahead, what’s behind. It feels like a huge milestone in life and I feel a little melancholy to be leaving stages of life that I lived behind.

Kids are growing up. One at uni, one not far behind. I wanted them both to go and spread their wings (which they are doing) but it’s tough adjusting to life where they aren’t front and centre any more.

parents are getting older and it’s tough looking at them one day and actually “seeing” that they are ageing, getting a bit frailer and a little less sure of themselves.

im lucky that I have my health right now but I’m getting niggles now. Knees are creaky, wrinkles, grey hairs, reading glasses! I am now often the oldest person in a meeting at work - when did that happen!

i know turning 50 isn’t a surprise but I didn’t expect it to feel so significant.

will it pass? Will I settle into this new looming phase? Or is mild sadness at the passing of time now a thing?!

The best thing I did for myself on turning 50 was join the local gym, get a personal trainer (found a fabulous woman my age) and take up weightlifting.

It’s not just that it’s so good for your body, it’s the sense of achievement and the doing something new. Try it!

I turned 50 last year , and I’m definitely feeling this . I am trying to think of milestones in the future to look forward too .

@HappyCrab

I turned 50 last year so know the feeling

You have entered a new phrase in life what you have got now is obviously life experiences of what works for you and certainly doesn't,

I would focus on doing meaningful de cluttering in your life,

Is there people friendships or and situations 🤔 you have outgrown or don't enhance your life but drag you down?
Look at focusing on developing quality people in your life who enhance your life whether it's being able to have deep meaningful insightful conversations or make you laugh or whatever adds enhances your life,

Also don't get sucked into our western societies cult of youth

Look at more positive images high profile women our age who are relatable such as their is a very natural looking female influencer who has silver hair is popular who does videos on YouTube on how to be more comfortable in your skin 50 + and find your own style and eat healthier but not in a lecturing way,
She talks about her personal well being struggles in the past, and how she overcome them,
.
Also see life as a adventure you've entered a new phrase and it's time to re energise and focus on yourself more as you are still individual,
not just a mother or and life partner to someone in your life

Is there projects 🤔 you have put on back burner ?
cause of family life demands etc,

What about taking up new hobbies interests,?
also what about doing some sight seeing such as visting interesting places such as visting art galleries and museums etc

Doing and seeing new things ...

I'm turning 50 this summer and I cannot begin to say how much it has been worrying me. I think it's a constant dread I never even had about turning 40 ! I seem to be dwelling on everything I've failed at so am trying to turn it into things I can try again to succeed at but it's a constant thorn in my side.
Sometimes I flip it and think of how grateful I am to even get the chance to turn 50 and then days win

I'm 54, and I don't feel like this at all.

Do you have things to look forward to?

My children have left home. My DH and I go on holiday at least twice a year, so we always have something to look forward to. I experienced my first foam party at the age of 54, on holiday in the Caribbean a few months ago. Such fun!

I turned 50 last year and it is a tough time, the elasticity and beauty of youth is fading, and, same as you, its really hard seeing my parents getting so frail.

But I've really decided to embrace it and just go for it. I feel lucky that I got here in one piece too as I have lost friends on the way.and seen friends face monumentaI challenges. I have a wonderful family, I took a new job last year that has really challenged me which has really helped with my confidence. I have decided to own being 50, to be the best version of myself, to enjoy my strengths, laugh at my weaknesses,and to do things that I want to. I'm in a really good place for 50 . Be positive and it will help get you there.

Turning 50 in itself is nothing to worry about. You should have at least another 25 years ahead, hopefully many more. I think hormones don’t help at this age, they can give you a sense of gloom from what I’ve read.

Hate to say it, but I’m half way through my 50s and I’ve hated them! But that’s down to the things I’ve gone through in my 50s - my best friend died, my husband has been very poorly for a few years, I lost my long term job in covid, and recently I’ve lost my dad and had to care for my mother for a few years, so life hasn’t been much fun!

I'm feeling the same OP. Turning 50 this year and it's very different from turning 40 (which was a breeze for me). Parents getting frailer. Kids gaining in independence and needing me less and less, which is a good thing, but hard to adjust to as they've been such a huge part of my life for so long. A vague feeling that some doors are closing for me (eg some career options). Health basically fine but a few aches and pains. Is it downhill from here, or do I just need to adapt?

The 50s is time for that isn't it.
I've been through the grief of all my kids flying the nest, I see my parents getting vulnerable, I see MYSELF as being more vulnerable too. My knees hurt and I'm worrying about my terrible pension.
But some things are great- exploring new interests, being selfish, travelling. It's a real mix.

Speaking as a 55 year old I found the stage of life that happens around my age where you suddenly stop caring so much about what other people think is actually worth getting older for.
OP make the most of the time you now have for yourself, prioritise seeing friends and/or family and plan a few fun things to do.

experienced my first foam party at the age of 54, on holiday in the Caribbean a few months ago. Such fun!

Me too in Mexico!

will it pass?

Yes. 50 can be tough. Turning 60 is much better. You realise you're still you - not the disgusting hag mainstream and social media try to convince you that you have become.

And you realise it really is time to smell the coffee, the roses ... whatever.

Completely get this OP. Recently turned 50 myself and have struggled with menopausal symptoms for a while now particularly anxiety and brain fog (am on HRT) but some days I really do question everything. I’m generally well health wise apart from a knee issue that’s been bothering me since Christmas but kids are getting more independent - both still at home but recently reached milestones eg buying their own cars etc. one in 6th form and one starting uni sept.
my parents are getting older and that worries me. Friends are drifting away and I just feel a bit meh 🫤
I exercise a lot but even that feels like it’s getting harder lately.

Familiar set up here - 50 last year. One DD at uni just about to finish 1st year and the other due to start in September.

I'm lucky in that at work my department is mostly of a similar age, and we all get on pretty well.

I have had similar feelings about life but am feeling positive as despite working full time, I now have more time to do things - or not do things, it's my choice. I went to London in the Easter hols for a day by myself to see two exhibitions and it felt very liberating. I'm hoping to do more things like this.

It's a strange age though, I almost can't quite believe it!

Yes. I'm 55 now and well adjusted to being in my second half century. My DC were adults and I'd lost my parents by the time I was in my 40s, so I'd passed those milestones by 50, but I still had a major wobble around my birthday.
What helped me most was reframing how I thought about being 'old' as a positive. I'd lived half a century! I'd seen so much, done so many things, known so many people, and all that knowledge snd experience was inside me to carry forward to the rest of my life.
I also started to really value my body, it's now vintage and needs the same sort of care I'd give to any precious antique. Good food, the excercise it needs, rest and care. I embarked on a major health kick, and I have to say, 5 years on, I feel (and look) infinitely better than in my 40s, 30s even. I'm relaxed, I have more freedom than I've had in years and I'm very happy.

I hear you and it’s shit. And I’ve got a 4 yo 😭

Turning 50 really does feel like a huge milestone when getting older seems more real! Our youth is well gone, the next milestone ages always seemed to have been a long way off until now. Then again I think of others who haven't made this age and give myself a reality check. Xx

I will admit my 50s have been a struggle (I’m 56 this summer) so far. But Dh and I have both had serious illness. And I’ve lost two siblings 😢 I have a 15 year old and the pressure is on with GCSEs next year.

On the other hand I’m focusing on health and fitness and enjoying the company of Friends. Recently went on my first ever ladies only holiday, how did I get to 56 without ever doing that before? I try to be kinder to myself these days.

I turned 50 last month. Was absolutely dreading it but actually it’s been great. Had a party and a night away to see show with a big group of friends. I realise how much more confident I am and how I have collected a great group of friends. I was such an anxious and insecure teen and it’s taken years to realise I’m likeable and deserve the people around me. I still love live music and dancing and I’ve got a few things booked for this year. I look around at the people in their 40s/50s and beyond having an absolute blast. If anything I’m enjoying the music of my youth more now with like minded people who never grew out of it.

My DC are in their teens so I have got some freedom back. I’m going to enjoy life until the joints pack up. My face shocks me when I catch my reflection at times although I don’t look bad for 50.