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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does this class as lying ?

6 replies

jomialola · 10/05/2024 16:21

Husband away with his friends in America - when we FaceTimed yesterday he looked rough so I asked him if he was ok, he said yes, I said you sure you don’t look good he said no im fine just tired I said you don’t sound great either he said no I’m fine. Carried on the conversation and he said he felt tired last night so came home early and left his friends out. Then called 4 hours later saying sorry I should have told you I passed out in a bar last night, don’t remember anything but a guy and his friend took him outside and he felt weird so went home ( only had a pint). His friends stayed out and didn’t check to see if he was ok which I find a bit weird. I said you feeling ok now he said yes I feel fine.
My issue is the lying he said he didn’t want to worry me. The last trip he went on he lied about flying business class and lied about how much it cost, how long they were going for and we had huge arguments and he said he will never lie to me again and was only doing it to protect me. AIBU to think hes lying and what else is he lying about or am
i over reacting which is what he’ll probably say. And sorry for the long thread 🙈

OP posts:
Solidlump · 10/05/2024 16:55

I would find it very hard to trust him tbh. How do you know he is telling the truth now about what happened? I think if your default position is not to be honest about things it is very hard to change to being truthful and open.

Babybreath · 10/05/2024 17:00

If this was the only lie , then I'd believe him about not wanting to worry you. It's not his only lie though is it, lying about money and how long his previous trip was ( did he not think you'd notice if he was away for longer than he said) is a problem.

mondaytosunday · 10/05/2024 17:01

Sounds like his drink was spiked. What were his 'friends' thinking?
But no excuse for lying!

MimiSunshine · 10/05/2024 17:04

You can either see it as he lied in the past and it caused major problems and so he’s trying to do better now and he called back to explain and come clean because self improvement isn’t a perfect line.

or you can see it as he’s an habitual liar and you’ll never fully trust him

BodyKeepingScore · 10/05/2024 17:22

If someone intentionally tells you something that isn't true, then yes, it's a lie. Only you can decide whether you think he had a "good enough" explanation for why he chose to lie rather than be honest.

AmiShitsaline · 10/05/2024 17:24

MimiSunshine · 10/05/2024 17:04

You can either see it as he lied in the past and it caused major problems and so he’s trying to do better now and he called back to explain and come clean because self improvement isn’t a perfect line.

or you can see it as he’s an habitual liar and you’ll never fully trust him

That’s assuming the story about passing out and being spiked is true, it sounds kinda suss to me!

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