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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is an odd diet?

31 replies

EveningStars · 10/05/2024 14:45

Not a weight loss 'diet', just to be clear. It also has no connection to financial issues or lack of availability locally.

My Dsis and her DH (both in late 50's) used to eat meals she prepared, mostly fresh but affordable. What I'd call an average, healthy diet. Over the past decade or so her DH's tastes changed, eventually reaching a point where they accepted not sharing meals together any more as she preferred to carry on as usual. He is a decent guy, doesn't have any health issues and doesn't seem to have changed in any other way.
He jokes about how he eats as he can see that it's a bit different to the rest of the family, so isn't uptight about it outwardly. It's just a bit unusual in how it has evolved over recent years.
There is also nothing 'wrong' with his food choices exactly, it is more the attitude to it that has altered. Some examples:

Will only eat tinned food, including very cheap soup, beef, baked beans, meatballs, peas, hotdogs (B&M's, etc). The meat meals are almost always served with a tin of peas or baked beans. Often the hot dogs float in tins of chicken soup. A few buns/rolls accompany the meal.
This never changes and has a strict routine, so the rotation of them never varies. There is no interest in regular (un-tinned) vegetables or fresh meat, cheese, eggs or fish. He doesn't eat dessert of any kind nor snacks, except a few chocs at xmas. He does drink alcohol twice per week, usually red wine or beer.
No food allergies of digestive issues and is only slightly overweight.

Food choices are really personal and this isn't a critique or cheap shot at him. We all have our foibles. I was watching a few episodes of freaky eaters, or something of that ilk, and noticed a few younger people who could only eat chips or only ever ate sandwiches, etc. He does remind us of this a bit!

Like I say, otherwise a pretty regular guy, although quite routine focused. I wouldn't' say it has badly impacted their relationship but Dsis LOVES cooking, and whilst he always compliments her on that, he will politely never join in - and I mean never!

My thoughts are that he doesn't like fuss and prefers a very quick way to prepare food (just warm it up!) but it puzzles me why he doesn't occasionally enjoy eating anything with Dsis at all. What I wouldn't tell my Dsis is that it looks weirdly 'bachelor' like to me, as if psychologically he is pulling away from a fundamental thing that pulls people together, if that makes sense?

Has anyone experienced this gradual shift in a middle aged person, and does it strike anyone as a bit odd?

OP posts:
CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 10/05/2024 15:18

Of course it’s odd.
First thing that came to my mind is a brain tumor.

EveningStars · 10/05/2024 15:27

Just had a look at tinned food and salt - seems more in hot dogs but classed as very low sodium. I am no expert on this though!

OP posts:
taleasoldashoney · 10/05/2024 16:15

I have ARFID, I forced myself to eat everything everyone else ate for years, mostly due to an abusive childhood.

the best way I can describe it is like you are trying to have an interview in the middle of a noisy nightclub. It's absolutely exhausting. I would stop eating meals part way through when I was still hungry just because the sheer force of making myself eat certain things was so exhausting

My food choices are nowhere near as restrictive as what you are describing OP and to most outsiders I probably look like I have a normal if slightly fussy taste in food.

But depending on how tired I am I sometimes eat the same thing repeatedly or don't have the same as my DH. Life is high stress at the moment so I'm living on cheese, tuna or beans jacket potatoes. I know it's not healthy but it's better than pretending I will eat a "normal" meal, stopping after a few mouthfuls and then filling up on safe textured but unhealthy snacks later.

Maybe your Bil just realised, as I did one day, that actually you don't have to force yourself to eat every meal you don't like and you can choose what you are comfortable with.

I'm certainly not psychologically pulling away from my (ex chef) DH though, and luckily he is incredibly understanding.

Sapphire387 · 10/05/2024 16:30

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 10/05/2024 15:18

Of course it’s odd.
First thing that came to my mind is a brain tumor.

Errrr... that's quite the leap.

Austrocock · 10/05/2024 18:25

Maybe your sister got completely pissed off about him whinging about the food she was preparing and she told him to make his own. He can't be arsed to prepare proper food so he just buys tinned stuff and heats it up.

Catcakes · 10/05/2024 18:27

Early signs of dementia

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