Not to let 13 yo DD dye her hair

[chdjdjdnfn]

DD is 13 (year 8) and has dark blonde/caramel coloured hair. She has asked if she can dye it blonder or get blonde highlights for summer. I have said no because I think she's too young to be bleaching her hair and also it's very expensive to do professionally!
She does get naturally blonder in the sun anyway and I have let her use a highlight enhancing spray and blonde shampoo.
AIBU not letting her dye it? I'm not sure if I'm being mean or not!
Also are there any options for a non permanent non bleach alternative?

YANBU she's 13.

I might be wrong but I'm not sure whetehr stylists will treat under 16, and even if they do, why you'd want to start that particular road with regular hair visits needed... I'd be waiting til she has her own funds. Spend your own money on your beauty treatments. No way I'd be scheduling salon appointments costing £60-100 on a regular basis every 12 - 18 weeks? Absolutely not.

Thank you, this is what I've told her too, if she manages to find a salon that will dye a 13 year old's hair then it's not a reputable place that I'd let loose on my hair!

I haven't used the dark roots argument with her, i will add that to the list!

I’ve been dying my hair blonde since I was 13. I’m 47 now and don’t see any issue at all. I dyed it at home until I was 16 and started getting it professionally done after that.

Of course she shouldn’t dye her hair! she is 13 ffs!

I’d let her use semi permanent, no bleach, it might not have the effect she wants, but it seems a bit controlling to say she can’t do it at all. Experimenting is fun and when you are young is the best time for it.

I had some light highlights from about 11 so I would be ok with it if either I could easily afford it, for a birthday present or if she was paying herself. I think people can be a bit overly precious about hair though, it’s not a permanent change, it grows out. It’s another way for teenagers to experiment and express themselves, much like clothing.

Normally I agree, not really bothered about what style she has it in and I would be less bothered if she wanted to put in a wash out purple in it for example. I think it's the bleach side of it that's bothering me, plus that she'd have to let it grow out or keep touching it up.
I will look at semi permanent options

As long as it doesn't cause issues with school ( mine went to school with no restrictions on hair colour) i have let mine do whatever they like with reversible alterations to appearance. So far a rather odd mullet with shaved sides for my daughter, a bleached crop, green mohican and red spikes for my son. They both have relatively normal hair now, having realised how hard it is to maintain bright colours or how long growing out shaved bits takes. I picked my battles with my two.

Highlight enhancing spray is bleach and much more damaging than getting some highlights. She could get balayage so it looks overall a bit lighter and she won’t have to worry about the roots as much.

It's just hair, it grows out. At 13 she's finding her style. What about something like just money pieces at the front? You could do them at home but it would still take bleach.

I can't see why not really. It's her hair, if she can afford a pack of dye why not experiment? It's only hair & if she doesn't like it it'll grow out. It's not like she wants a tattoo.

I really don't think it matters. I dyed my hair as a young teenager and it did me no harm whatsoever. She just wants to experiment with styles, which is a natural impulse.

If she does wreck it, it'll grow.

I told both of my teen DDs that while I was happy to pay for hair cuts, colour would come out of their own pockets. Turns out they're not that bothered after all, the occasional pot of Manic Panic aside.

Yes, good point. Unless she already has very light hair, it's likely to look crap. And it'll definitely ruin the quality of her hair.

I’d be ok with it. 13 DD or 13 DS.
if salon is unaffordable, plenty of box dyes, for highlights you can still just buy a blonde box and apply it in streaks.

I let my 12/13 year get her hair done. It is brown and she wanted the underneath to be blue, she talked about it for years. So we did with our hairdresser who comes to the house. It had to be bleached right to white and then blue. Then she went pink for a while but after a bit her hair was wrecked from the extreme bleaching. Luckily it was just a smallish section at the nape of her neck, so a few months ago she died it back to brown and is letting the frazzled hair grow out.

I thought it looked great and was fun. A few well placed highlights wouldn't bother me and they don't frazzle the hair the same way.