Not to let 13yo DD due her hair?

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My DD is 13 (yr 8) and has dark blonde/caramel coloured hair. She has asked if she can dye it blonder or have highlights for summer. I have said no because I think she's too young to be bleaching her hair and also it's very expensive to get done professionally!
She does get naturally blonder in the sun anyway and I have let her use a blonde highlight enhancing spray and blonde shampoos.
AIBU not letting her dye it? I'm not sure if I'm being mean or not.
It's not about what colour she wants to use,
when she's 16 she can do whatever she wants!
Are there any non permanent options for going blonde? It was sun-in in my day!

If they do it themselves i don't mind, it's their hair

I didn't want DD to dye her hair before 16 either but she tried some wash-in wash-out dyes. I showed her the packaging on the semi-permanent ones and the age limit plus the hairdresser had a chat with her about not doing it. So it was a big no from me until 16

It's not for us to say what's unreasonable with your kid.

That being said, I have a 12 year old in yr7 but September born and mature if I say so myself. If she asked me if she wished to dye her hair, I'd say yes. A few of her friends have. It's just hair. It doesn't cause much damage if you care for it otherwise and i personally don't think it's a big deal. I dyed my hair for the first time in yr7 or 8. I still remember the pure joy!

What I've found is that you'd be hard pressed to find a hairdresser who will actually do it at that age.

There might be semi permanent box dyes but they will likely cause more damage than a professional doing it. "Sun in" anyone?

I'd let her do it. It's her hair. They have so little control over their own lives, why shouldn't they have control over their own hair? If the cost is an issue you can draw up a chores chart for her to earn the money

Nope no bleach at that age- 16 I’m with you OP.

I had highlights at 13. Just a half head, but I really loved the face framing pieces.

I agree with the PP saying that kids have so little control over pretty much everything in their lives, I don’t see how a little bleach on strands of hair is a “big no”.

She only wants to go a bit blonder.
If the cost of getting it done professionally is an issue - then absolutely you should say no to that. But otherwise I'd let her use an over the counter box die - but teach her to do a patch test etc.

My daughter started dying her hair when she was about 14/15 when we were in lockdown... she didn't ask my permission (she was living with her Dad at the time). She chose bight Blue. Nothing terrible has ever happened to her. (currently her hair is half black half green)

YABU. It is hair and it grows back.

Sun-In is still available, I think - maybe just get her some of that.

This was dd last summer.

our local hairdressers said they are not insured to do any colour to Under 16s.

My mum did some colour on her with a 6 week semi permanent, no bleach, goes away in x number of washes thing. It's still there 9 months later.

Go to a good hairdresser and ask for baby lights with face framing. They will give her the blonder look that she wants but in a less dramatic, more natural sunkissed way. Also minimal damage, no maintenance + far cheaper than a full head of highlights or anything like that. Definitely do not let her do it herself as a PP suggested, that’s asking for disaster!

I allowed DD to start getting highlights at 13 - absolutely no regrets. It was really only a yearly summer holiday treat until she was about 16. Her hair, her decision as long as it was kept healthy and natural looking - no bright red hair or anything like that!!

She wants a few blonde highlights, she's not asking to dye her hair bright green!

My daughter is a "mucky" blonde. No salons would touch her as she is under 16. Didn't want it to look rubbish with a box dye as she only really wants highlights, so I'm afraid she's got to wait another 7 months and then she can have it done,

I let my nearly 13 year old dye her hair. However we don’t do bleaching. It’s however the colour turns out on her hair without pre lightening. She also has an undercut.

It’s just hair intimately but I don’t like bleaching hair full stop personally thankfully she doesn’t want to be blonde anyway.

At that age me and my sisters used to sit out in any sign of sun with lemon juice in our trying to make it lighter. I'm not sure it did much. By the time I was 20 I was dying my hair in the summer to counter it going lighter in the sun. Now I avoid the sun for various reasons but I like my hair darker. I'm a redhead and it goes to strawberry blonde in the sun.

My sisters started dying their hair at 13/14. They just did it off their own back. I would have a look at some temporary options

How about chamomile tea, for a more natural and less damaging solution? Make very strong (at least two tea bags) chamomile tea and comb it through her hair whenever she'll be out in the sun/using a hairdryer. It acts quite slowly so you'll have to do it quite a few times before you notice much difference, but it should work well on naturally blonde/light-coloured hair.

My daughter dyed her hair at 13 - its hair, it grows back! I’d rather I knew about it than they did it behind my back!

Oh god.. stop being one of those parents. Just let her do it, it's her hair.

Sun In is permanent. The highlight enhancing spray is permanent. They are both bleach. You can’t get lighter hair without using bleach. As she’s already been bleaching her hair I don’t see what the issue is? Better to go to a salon than use the sprays that damage your hair.