Favourite MN suggestions

[MoominPyjamas]

Obviously there's always 'could you start an ironing business?'
New faves are:
Would a lodger be an option? (random man moves into your family home with small children. Why would they want to? I mean it must be most people's idea of hell. Not to mention the trauma for the kids of daddy moving out and then a strange man moving in who doesn't eat with us but is upstairs, playing music and having loud phone conversations)

Could you get a less challenging job? (To someone struggling with a huge mortgage and huge workload)
On the flip side 'could you not get a better paid job?' Why didn't I think of that? Here I am being a sous chef when I could be a solicitor, what a dick I am.

What about an au pair? (Where from??)

Would you consider a nanny? (To a band 5 single parent nurse)

Could you ask one of the parents at your school to help? (please approach Tania who hasn't spoken to you since the bake sale of 22 to commit to picking your two children up every Thursday for the rest of time until a place on bloody afterschool club comes up, and sit back to read Tania not so subtly blast you as a CF on Mumsnet)

'Could their dad do more?' (well yes of course their dad could do more, pretty much all dad's everywhere could always bloody do more, that's why they're not posting their woes on the internet, they aren't worrying about it)

Also the expectation that everyone is working from home all the time so should be fitting in their ten hours of HIIT a week unless you're in a profession which they really need to speak to such as travel insurance in which case how very dare you and get back to the office.

Why don't you move OP? That's the best option for you (hmmm ok, costing £££ in fees alone, uprooting myself and my kids away from all friends/family...)

Could you take in ironing? For those needing a financial boost.

‘Can you bulk it out with lentils?’ - usually said to someone who has £5 to their name and nothing but pasta and sauce in the cupboard for the next week. Used to be trotted out so often that it seemed to be the answer to any poverty related query. No petrol? Lentils. Hole in clothes? Sew lentils into them. Lost your home? Build one out of lentils…

I think that the best one I heard was a long time ago and I may have got some of the details mixed up now but basically another parent at OP's Preschool was being a Twat. Might have been over parking or similar and someone in all seriousness suggested that OP approach The Twat and give them a Creme Egg.
Apparently this would lead to a meaningful dialogue and The Twat would start behaving as a result

Broke, stressed and exhausted with no childcare?

Have a spa day.

That’s the one that makes me 🙄

Oh and the endless suggestion of asking some rude twat if ‘they meant to be so rude’ with added in Mumsnet ™️ head tilt. Yeah they probably did and are about to become a whole lot ruder…

“Take the kids and go to your parents for a few days/weeks” 🙄

Elderly widowed mum has a small one bed bungalow, I’m sure she’d love me and children moving in. Not to mention work, pets and school.

I don’t think anyone I know could be accommodated by their parents tbh.

I'm always confused by the ones who say 'well can't you just cut back on your bills. Can't believe you pay £x for your phone when mine is £5'. Normally you can't just get yourself out of a financial agreement for free, it always costs something! I've never been able to just get out of a phone or wifi contract without having to pay a huge cancellation fee which most people won't have up front if they are struggling for money

No is a complete sentence.

It isn’t and in most cases would be unfathomably rude in a situation where you probably still need to coexist with the person. ie Fiona from the office asking if you’d like to sponsor her daughter in her sponsored walk.

@Shelllyfish yes. I have indeed LTB and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I still wonder if I made the right choice for my children. They are fiercely defensive of him and regularly tell me they hate me, why did I leave, he is so much better than me etc. Not something anyone would do lightly.

The one I find most annoying is therapy.
My husband doesn't pull his weight around the house - would he get some therapy?
Teenager is being grumpy and arsey all the time - perhaps they need therapy?
My friend is going through a rough patch in life - she obviously needs therapy.
Should I start shopping at Aldi instead of Waitrose - you need therapy.

Since when did we become a nation that needs therapy just for stepping out the house?

Someone suggested to me yesterday that if I was 5’4 and 40 yrs old and wanted to lose 2 stone, I should eat 1900 calories a day and “eventually” I would be 9 stone.

I’m 5’7 and 40 yrs old, and 1900 is my maintenance amount for my current weight which includes a lot of exercise, so if I was both shorter and trying to lose weight, by following her advice I would actually be gaining weight.

sometimes you just have to nod and smile…..

never in real life would you meet such a range of experts all in one place at the same time.

'Could their dad do more?' (well yes of course their dad could do more, pretty much all dad's everywhere could always bloody do more, that's why they're not posting their woes on the internet, they aren't worrying about it)

This bit took me out😂😂😂

Diagnosed with cancer? Husband leaving?

HAVE A SPA DAY.

The suggestions of finding "a local teen" to do childcare or some other errands. Where do you find these teenagers, advert at the secondary schools?

@WhatNoRaisins MN is wild, don't you dare leave your eleven year old alone for 15 minutes but leave a 16 in charge of your two year old all day!

I don't know anyone who would leave some random teenager babysitting their young kids these days. I mean, we all did it back in the 80s and 90s for pocket money, but looking back it wasn't ideal. I used to go round with my friend to her babysitting job and we'd just sit there watching telly while the under 5s were up to god knows what!

@MermaidEyes I looked after someone's two year old at 13 whilst she did crack in the back room. She paid me in fags. It was definitely a less enlightened time!

@MoominPyjamas Jesus 😬

Or there’s the often trotted out opposite of a suggestion of what to do.

Namely that the person OP is complaining about might be neurodivergent and so you shouldn’t do anything as they can’t help being rude/anxious/inconsiderate/insert any emotion of your choice.

Anyway, surely if ‘that’ many people are neurodivergent then it’s not divergent at all?

I can imagine leaving a toddler with a known and trusted teenage family friend but some random teen you've somehow found? It doesn't seem like something you'd actually do these days.

‘Are you eating enough protein?’

Because protein magically stops you snacking and instantly melts flab and turns into lean muscle.

I bet you were allowed to give the toddler grapes that hadn’t been cut up and let them walk around with a stick lolly in their mouth too. 😱