Am I being silly or are others being negative Nancys?

[Cazpar]

Maybe it's just me, but whenever I feel like I have a piece of good news or an exciting opportunity, it feels like those close to me (usually but not always my mother) enjoy pouring cold water on the idea. "Oooh but have you thought of X?" "What about Y, you won't be able to do that."

This week for example. Possible new job, first interview went well, exactly my area that I want to specialise in, completely qualified for, perfect for me, albeit temporary for now (my sector is not one where it is difficult to find a job afterwards if need be), it comes with accommodation, and it would mean I'm closer to my partner - we're long distance.

Sounds good, yes? No.

"Yes but you'd have to move".

No shit Sherlock. Here was me thinking I'd just spend four hours a day driving.

"But what about your place in <town>?"

Well obviously I'll give my landlord notice, what else would I do?

"But what about your current job?"

Well I can't do both can I? And I'm not exactly thrilled with it. It's fine, it's just not amazing.

"But what if you have to move back?"

Then I'll fucking move back won't I, what else would I do.

"But the rental market" "But but but"

I was so excited before. Now I'm just wondering if it's worth bothering at all. Maybe I am being silly and I should just stay in my steady reliable job and not put myself through the faff and risk of moving.

Reality check though please, is this normal?

I just don't tell anyone stuff until it is a done deal. Certainly not about potential jobs. Don't let them put you off.

No, my MIL is like that too - we call her the joy sucker.......

We've solved it by not inviting her very often and then taking it in turns to chat to her. I, DH and DS1 have tried several times to tell her that she is being very negative and sometimes she does call after and apologise, but she is Mrs DDDOOOOMMMM

Everything you have said sounds perfectly reasonable. Don't be swayed by others if it's what you want to do.

My DM can be a bit like this. I see it as her being a worrier and her way of expressing her love in a slightly weird and annoying way (she thinks she is helping by pointing out things to consider). My DF is totally opposite and is more like that's nice dear which is also annoying as comes across as not that interested or supportive. I do get swayed by my DM so now usually I don't tell her certain things until they are a little more certain or make sure I present things in such a way that mitigates her concerns. I think the job sounds great and that you have thought through potential consequences so doesn't sound at all silly and good luck for next interview

I can easily see my mother becoming Mrs Doom!! I do try and avoid telling her things but sometimes I want to tell someone and I can't tell my work friends for obvious reasons!

I do get the logic that it's safer and easier to stay where you are. My current job is fine and pays well, and I have a good landlord. There's no guarantee I'd get that again. I don't know.

I will see how the next interview goes. No guarantee of course that I'll get it!