to feel slightly uneasy about experience at the dentist today?

[TenInSport]

I had two wisdom teeth removed today and this was done whilst I was sedated. I needed sedation as I am a survivor of DA and cannot tolerate anybody touching or being near my mouth in any way. The dentist and sedationist were aware of my history and were lovely and very sympathetic.

The procedure went well and, as I was told might happen, I have no memory of it. However, I have now found out that the dentist's receptionist couldn't find the phone number of the person who was meant to be collecting me so that they could call them and tell them I was ready.

As a result of this, my phone has been taken out of my handbag, unlocked, the number for my friend found and the dentist called her from my phone. Logically I know I probably agreed to this and possibly even unlocked the phone and found the number myself (although they had her name and could have just held the phone up to my face to unlock it) but I have no recollection of this and it has just left me feeling a bit, I don't know really... Vulnerable? Violated? It sounds silly but my mind is thinking that they may have gone through my phone and read other messages, would have had access to my photos, emails, etc and I would be none the wiser, even if I seemed to be cooperating with them in the moment.

Would I be unreasonable to contact the dentist and ask exactly what went on? Or will this make them think I am even more of a crazy woman than they probably already do?

Also, can anyone tell me how to tirn off face recognition on an iPhone? Now I realise that if I was ever unconscious or even when I am asleep my face can be used to access my phone and I am really not comfortable with that at all so it needs to go. PIN codes all the way from now on.

You can turn off/on Face recognition in

Settings-Accessibility-Face ID & Attention

There is an option in there (I think it's a default) called "require attention for Face ID" which means your eyes have to actually be looking at the screen to unlock the phone. Meaning someone couldn't just hold it up to your face when asleep etc.

That does sound a bit unpleasant to have happened, but I'm sure nothing untoward went on OP. They probably felt uncomfortable doing it but realised they needed to get the number. Generally medical professionals are good people and wouldn't do anything like look through your messages. At least, I would trust that they wouldn't.

I've had sedation and apparently you can talk 'normally' etc (or at least I could) but I couldn't remember any of it. It's really quite disconcerting to think of. So you have my sympathies. If they went through your phone, they are hardly going to admit to it. But that would require three people to collude to spy on you and for what? I think that logically, it was used for calling your friend and you probably agreed to it and now you can't remember because of the sedation.

This comes down to whether you trust your dentist or not. They have given a detailed version of events that is very plausible and shows initiative and patient care. Do you not believe them?
If you ask I’m sure they will give you another rundown but it’s unlikely to be different from the first time they told you.

Face recognition shouldn’t work with your eye shut, if that reassures you at all.

Did you have your friend's details set up as your emergency contact? If so that's fair enough they got them, I don't believe they'd be able to access anything else on your phone.

It's very likely you did consent to it at the time but the drug they use stops you from being able to form memories. I've had similar sedation several times before and I'm due it again in about 3 months.

I think it's probably the entire situation that has you feeling vulnerable rather than the phone thing, and you are latching on to it as a way to focus those feelings onto something "real". I've found myself doing similar things in the past. Focusing on one "minor" issue so that I don't need to think about the bigger picture.

Goodness the dentist surgery are very poor for not checking, that they had a number for a contact person, knowing they were going to perform sedation. Very poor indeed.

The dentist will, legitimately , have access to much more sensitive information about you ie your medical history, your history of DA , than you have on your phone and you trust them with that .....

When you are sedated you are awake and aware, you are just relaxed and have no memory afterwards. The dentist will have asked you to find the number and dial it and you would have been perfectly capable of doing that. You might have been a bit too giggly or spacey to make sense to your friend, hence the dentist speaking to them.

There is no way your dentist will know the history of DA.

OP had informed them of DA. This is very useful in helping people through dental treatment which many who have experienced this type of trauma find very difficult.

Op informed them.

The reference earlier to your dentist knowing your medical history and DA - sounded as though - it would have been shared from other sources. It wouldn’t. It would only come from the patient.

Dentists only have access to their own patient records, they do not share information - unless it’s regarding a referral to dental hospital or other dental services, they have no access to any other databases, ie gp, hospital etc.

And yes, it’s invaluable that patients notify us of a reason that makes treatment so hard for them.

Pretty sure the dental surgery would not mind if the OP asks the question about the phone call being made. I know we wouldn’t.

To clarify op shared their medical history and DA history , secure in the knowledge that confidential information is safe in the dentists hands . This information is a lot more sensitive than anything on a phone .

Also to clarify even with IV sedation by the end of the proceedure op would be perfectly capable of getting phone out and unlocking it , finding a number and dialling it , they just wouldn't remember. There would be no reason for dentist to try to unlock phone and search for a number . Also the reason for so many people in the room is to act as chaperone for patient and dentists sake , precisely because people are vulnerable and precautions have to be there to keep everyone comfortable.

Oh come on you're searching for things to complain about about here

Honestly, I highly doubt that the dentist or his staff would want to go through your messages and photos! As you don't remember what happened, you could well have given them the phone to access your friend's number. I really wouldn't be complaining if I were you.

What is DA?

With respect OP, and gently, I would say that your history is making you worry about things that are highly highly unlikely to have happened. I am sure they would be happy to talk to you, and remember, any health professional has a body they answer to and is expected to adhere to the highest standards of conduct. But this may be a good time to think about the fact that you are projecting your previous experiences onto a situation which is really different, with people who treated you kindly and respectfully. Seems unlikely they would have done anything untoward.

Your feelings and response are valid and given your history of trauma, the sedation and the lack of memory, it is not surprising that you feel this way. Do you have a therapist, can you speak to them? Also speak to your friend, explain how you feel while maybe first explaining that you want to be heard...not told there is nothing to worry about. If you feel you want to, you can ask for a meeting with the dentist to understand exactly how it played out... not in order to cast blame .. but so that you can process the event and prevent the questions from going round in your head ... any maybe they can have a better awareness of how to sensitively navigate similar situations in the future. Using this type of sedation, they should have training on how to be aware of the emotional impacts of it, especially with trauma survivors. If it is not familiar to them.. perhaps it should be.

I cannot imagine a scenario where a dentist, nurse and receptionist all agree that going through your bag, doing face recognition (which doesn’t work if your eyes are closed anyway) without your consent and then phoning your friend is an appropriate course of action. The sort of person who does that does not come across as kind and respectful in other areas.

I am certain you agreed and maybe even took part in retrieving the number.

Ask them by all means. Just explain you don’t know what happened and what was the chain of events. I can promise you they will check contact numbers far more closely prior to sedation sessions from now on.

Dentist here. It seems that they found themselves in a situation and did what they could to get you home.

However because they didn't have procedures to ensure that the details of your escort were available, YANBU to feel that your privacy was violated. It's not ideal but you have to trust that they did not look at anything else on your phone. Perhaps you did give permission but you weren't aware that you might be asked to give those permissions while you were sedated.

I would feed back about how you feel about this, and that moving forwards that their procedures are changed/followed to avoid this situation happening again.