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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by total phone ban

710 replies

TeleGardenGnome · 09/05/2024 07:25

My child's school which is a busy city location has a total phone ban. So you aren't allowed to take any type of phone to school at all even if it stays hidden in a bag and is on silent and never used. They do bag searches and use metal detectors to find students breaking the rules.

If your child's phone is found they get a detention and you can only get it back by visiting the school in person.

So yesterday my child's phone was found in a bag search and removed. There were awful transport issues and it took them several hours to get home. In the meanwhile we had no way to contact each other.

I can't get the phone back due to work and my husband being away for work. It just stresses me out that he won't be able to get in touch if there's a problem. Expressing my feelings here as there is no point complaining to the school. They don't listen to parental feedback.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
eastegg · 10/05/2024 22:34

Jeannne92 · 10/05/2024 22:17

At the moment, form tutors don't have time to do this as there are about 3 times as many things to do in form time than the time available, so the school would need to find time to do this. Ditto at the end of the day, students go home directly from their last lesson so the timetable would need to be rearranged to have a time for the tutor group to reassemble, students and tutor.

What happens to the box during the day? How does the box get from the tutor room to the safe place, and back again?

What happens if the tutor is absent, or when a student arrives late or leaves early?

What happens if a student refuses to hand over their phone?

Some students will hand in a phone, but have another still on them or in their bag.

It's a huge amount of time and energy spent on something that has nothing to do with teaching and isn't part of a teacher's job, and schools don't have money to pay administrative staff purely for this.

Was just about to post something very similar. Secondary schools are a world away from year 6. At ours the students see their form tutor at the beginning or end of the day depending which year they are in, but not both. And as you say what on earth happens to all those phones (2000 kids at our school!) during the day?

Platypuslover · 10/05/2024 22:57

It’s illegal to search a minor or their bag without the parents explicit permission or a a search warrant. It’s civil liberties as well as I’m sure a bunch of other laws being broken right there too.

most schools are also majorly in breach of GDPR and it just gets swept under the rug.

Needanewname42 · 10/05/2024 23:58

NellieJean · 10/05/2024 19:48

and children had Blackberries, really? In the end instead of 15 years make it 25 the point still stands.

Yes my neice had one in early secondary apparently they were quicker for typing text on.
Remember before blackberries with the full keyboard, brick phones you typed by

8 44 444 7777 4447777 7777 5556669
This is slow

Needanewname42 · 11/05/2024 00:07

eastegg · 10/05/2024 21:07

I’m guessing a fairly small school? There are over 2000 kids at my sons’ secondary so this wouldn’t work. They’ve recently had a consultation on mobile phone policy and when you think about all the possible approaches it can be quite difficult to find a workable system. The magnetic pouches seem quite a good idea, or to simply have a ‘if we don’t see it, we won’t do anything’ approach which is our school’s current approach. It will depend on each school’s particular issues with phone use as well.

Even a class teacher taking phones in could easily end up with £12k worth of phones (30 x average of £400) in a box so it needs a proper safe. Someone up thread spoke about a primary kid lauching a box of.phones out a upstairs window.

Who wants to be responsible for that?
How do you insure it?
How do you know the phone you have in the box isn't a dummy phone and their real phone is in the bag or pocket?
How do you record the condition of the phone handed in and handed out.

It's a daft idea. Regardless of the size of school

kkloo · 11/05/2024 02:20

NellieJean · 10/05/2024 18:59

Only fifteen years ago no children would have had phones and yet life went on, they went to school, came home, and all was fine.

Pretty much every kid in my school got a Nokia 3210 the year they came out which was 1999. So that's 25 years ago!

Aswellisnotoneword · 11/05/2024 02:38

SabreIsMyFave · 10/05/2024 19:17

This in spades, except I would say 20-22 years ago, not 15. ^ Many people - including CHILDREN - don't seem to be able to get through a single hour without their bloody phone. A woman I know (aged 30) had her phone die on her a few months ago, and she completely lost her mind. She was hysterical. Ranting and crying, and saying her bank is on there, concert tickets are on there, whatsapp groups, emails - all sorts.

She was on the verge of a breakdown because she was without her phone for two and a half DAYS. It packed up on a Tuesday evening and she got a replacement with the same number by the Friday morning. Yet you'd think someone had stolen a kidney from her!

It's ludicrous how some people are totally dependent on mobile phones. As I said, even children demand them now, and also, their ranty parents demand their children have them. It's batshit.

Children have coped with 11-13 years of school, (and college and uni on top,) for 100s of years, without having their own phone at school/college... Yet now people throw a massive tantrum if their precious child can't have their phone at school. (And so do the children sometimes!)

It's pathetic! Children do not NEED a fucking mobile phone in school. Indeed, children (under 16 anyway,) don't need a mobile phone at all.

Edited

When I was a kid there were no seatbelts in the back seat of cars, and I'm fine. So what?

Some technological advances are really useful and worth adopting. A youngish kid, travelling alone across a city, being able to stay in contact with their family and easily seek directions or help if needed, is a very good thing.

Not all change is bad and the olden days weren't necessarily better.

Oblomov24 · 11/05/2024 04:48

I wouldn't be happy with this. I see phones as an integral part of life now. I certainly enjoy mine.

Overnightoats1 · 11/05/2024 06:16

We bought our dc IMOO watches ... they have a sim in so you call and voice note the people you need to and you put the contacts in you are happy for them to contact . it has a location and step tracker and it also has class mode so the watch just tells the time during the day (this is set on the parents phone.)... it won't have any games, till tok it WhatsApp groups which we want to delay anyway but it's worked really well from a being able to contact us before /after school and safety perspective ..https://imoo.me/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwi_exBhA8EiwA_kU1MviOh4MPbWnWu-O09Ced1b9sqeXbkwimh9h3ycD-m9ukectROTgx_BoCopIQAvD_BwE. We just got ours on Amazon .. the other benefit is that it's strapped to their arms so they can't get lost easily ...

Hateam · 11/05/2024 06:33

Oblomov24 · 11/05/2024 04:48

I wouldn't be happy with this. I see phones as an integral part of life now. I certainly enjoy mine.

Yes
They are an integral part of life.
Probably best to make sure you follow the rules so you don't get yours confiscated.

Missamyp · 11/05/2024 07:01

INeedToClingToSomething · 10/05/2024 19:14

This. This “need” for a phone is ridiculous. My DS is only 25 and when he was at secondary not all children had phones and my DS wasn’t allowed to take his to school. He only had one from about age 13/14. This was very recently. Children do not need phones. This so-called “need” has sprung up in the last few years. What has changed in that time that means children need a phone? Nothing, other than a further move towards helicopter parenting children and way too much emphasis on “safety”. None of this is doing our children any favours. We are seeing a huge increase in mental health conditions in our young people and if left unchecked will only get worse.

I fully support smart phone bans for under 16s. If I’d known what I know now my DS would never have had one at 13/14. Giving smart phones to 10 year olds is frankly horrifying.

if a child needs to work a problem out themselves when travelling to and from school that’s a good thing. It will mean they gain problem-solving skills and confidence that they can sort out issues themselves without calling a parent or other adult. We need to give our children more independence and freedom and more confidence that they can cope without mummy and daddy standing over them or a call away to sort everything out for them.

Neither my children nor DP's children have any mental health issues. I provide my children with phones so that I can easily locate and pick them up from school. Additionally, they can inform me when they travel alone to their friends or any other place, ensuring their safety.
We've had zero instances of bullying in the two families the social groups are tight-knit and controlled.

Oblomov24 · 11/05/2024 08:15

@Hateam : Do we too get our phones confiscated if we use Mn too much? Wink

I am well aware that there is a widespread MH crisis among teens, that needs looking into, but my 2 older ds's don't have MH issues, and they have not been upset/bothered by SM usage to date, so I'm ok atm. Like @Missamyp no problems, no bullying, no problems. If you have a child who is, that changes things.

Hateam · 11/05/2024 08:22

I could have worded that better but you know the point I was making

My driving licence is an integral part of my life. If I break the rules it gets taken from me.

So many parents seems to do all they get to stop their own children from learning the key life lesson that rule breaking can have negative consequences.

eastegg · 11/05/2024 09:16

Aswellisnotoneword · 11/05/2024 02:38

When I was a kid there were no seatbelts in the back seat of cars, and I'm fine. So what?

Some technological advances are really useful and worth adopting. A youngish kid, travelling alone across a city, being able to stay in contact with their family and easily seek directions or help if needed, is a very good thing.

Not all change is bad and the olden days weren't necessarily better.

If simply contacting someone was the answer to why they need phones, they could all have a brick phone, sorted. It’s the epidemic of addiction to smartphones that is the problem, and the reason why schools are having to consider their policies.

It might be more helpful to phrase the debate as ‘do children need smartphones/do smartphones do more harm than good’?

I would say they don’t need them, and that we’re sleep walking into a nightmare. And I say that as someone who has let both my eldest have them (at 12ish). And they use them too much. I’m prepared to admit I’m probably fucking up as a parent.

TeleGardenGnome · 11/05/2024 09:36

eastegg · 11/05/2024 09:16

If simply contacting someone was the answer to why they need phones, they could all have a brick phone, sorted. It’s the epidemic of addiction to smartphones that is the problem, and the reason why schools are having to consider their policies.

It might be more helpful to phrase the debate as ‘do children need smartphones/do smartphones do more harm than good’?

I would say they don’t need them, and that we’re sleep walking into a nightmare. And I say that as someone who has let both my eldest have them (at 12ish). And they use them too much. I’m prepared to admit I’m probably fucking up as a parent.

Yes there is definitely a society wide problem. We are making it impossible to function in society without a smart phone. Tickets, banking, parking you name it and it is now practically impossible to do it without a phone. And far too many apps are deliberately designed to be addictive.

The problem is that as teenagers start to travel alone and become more independent they now need phones as society has changed to require it. So if your child was say trying an unfamiliar route after a sports match in the past and the train line went down there might have been station staff to advise. Now everyone has Google maps and people are suspicious of people asking directions thinking its a scam.

In terms of my original op I would be happy with brick phone switched off in bag or smart phone switched off in bag. Brick phone wouldn't help with navigating transport issues but at least they could call a trusted adult for help.

I think a lot of solutions like handing phones in do sound like quite a lot of hassle and admin for teachers.

Unfortunately it's all a bit irrelevant as school won't care what I think.

OP posts:
wombat15 · 11/05/2024 09:59

TeleGardenGnome · 11/05/2024 09:36

Yes there is definitely a society wide problem. We are making it impossible to function in society without a smart phone. Tickets, banking, parking you name it and it is now practically impossible to do it without a phone. And far too many apps are deliberately designed to be addictive.

The problem is that as teenagers start to travel alone and become more independent they now need phones as society has changed to require it. So if your child was say trying an unfamiliar route after a sports match in the past and the train line went down there might have been station staff to advise. Now everyone has Google maps and people are suspicious of people asking directions thinking its a scam.

In terms of my original op I would be happy with brick phone switched off in bag or smart phone switched off in bag. Brick phone wouldn't help with navigating transport issues but at least they could call a trusted adult for help.

I think a lot of solutions like handing phones in do sound like quite a lot of hassle and admin for teachers.

Unfortunately it's all a bit irrelevant as school won't care what I think.

Edited

Is it a society wide problem of is it just that as technology has progressed everything has adapted around it? . It seems to me that schools need to do the same thing and find a way of making sure pupils have access to phones when they leave the school. Some schools manage it.

thing47 · 11/05/2024 10:55

Children do not NEED a fucking mobile phone in school. Indeed, children (under 16 anyway,) don't need a mobile phone at all.

Some do, in fact. For medical reasons. A small number, admittedly, but blanket statements like these need correcting.

Needanewname42 · 11/05/2024 11:16

At the moment UK laws put control into children's hands at the age of 13, ie that's the the they are legally allowed to have social media. They legally need to consent to parental controls on the device and they can disable them.

There are other things related to that law.

Maybe the most logical answer is to up that age to 15 or 16.

However you cannot put the genie back in the bottle the genie is out. Schools are using apps for all sorts of things, Inc homework (Google Classroom, MS Teams). Some of that will have been pushed along with covid restrictions but its where we are and where the future is going.

Needanewname42 · 11/05/2024 11:18

I also believe that age 13 law is flow down from the EU.

TeleGardenGnome · 11/05/2024 11:34

Needanewname42 · 11/05/2024 11:16

At the moment UK laws put control into children's hands at the age of 13, ie that's the the they are legally allowed to have social media. They legally need to consent to parental controls on the device and they can disable them.

There are other things related to that law.

Maybe the most logical answer is to up that age to 15 or 16.

However you cannot put the genie back in the bottle the genie is out. Schools are using apps for all sorts of things, Inc homework (Google Classroom, MS Teams). Some of that will have been pushed along with covid restrictions but its where we are and where the future is going.

The age 13 thing is ridiculous. That said it is still under your control. You just tell them they have to accept parental controls or you won't pay for their phone contract anymore.

OP posts:
Needanewname42 · 11/05/2024 11:46

There's another one they can use online banking and have their card on Google Wallet / Apple Pay from 13 too.

Those things I don't mind but I do think big companies should have more responsibility for children under 16 on what they listen to and what they have access too.

spirit20 · 11/05/2024 12:34

Platypuslover · 10/05/2024 22:57

It’s illegal to search a minor or their bag without the parents explicit permission or a a search warrant. It’s civil liberties as well as I’m sure a bunch of other laws being broken right there too.

most schools are also majorly in breach of GDPR and it just gets swept under the rug.

This is absolutely not true. See the below extract from the Department of Education 'Searching, Screening and Confiscation Advice for Schools'

"Headteachers and staff they authorise have a statutory power to search a pupil or their possessions where they have reasonable grounds to suspect that the pupil may have a prohibited item listed in paragraph 31 or any other item that the school rules2 identify as an item which may be searched for"

Allfur · 11/05/2024 12:40

Platypuslover · 10/05/2024 22:57

It’s illegal to search a minor or their bag without the parents explicit permission or a a search warrant. It’s civil liberties as well as I’m sure a bunch of other laws being broken right there too.

most schools are also majorly in breach of GDPR and it just gets swept under the rug.

It's not something that would bother me

Allfur · 11/05/2024 12:42

TeleGardenGnome · 11/05/2024 09:36

Yes there is definitely a society wide problem. We are making it impossible to function in society without a smart phone. Tickets, banking, parking you name it and it is now practically impossible to do it without a phone. And far too many apps are deliberately designed to be addictive.

The problem is that as teenagers start to travel alone and become more independent they now need phones as society has changed to require it. So if your child was say trying an unfamiliar route after a sports match in the past and the train line went down there might have been station staff to advise. Now everyone has Google maps and people are suspicious of people asking directions thinking its a scam.

In terms of my original op I would be happy with brick phone switched off in bag or smart phone switched off in bag. Brick phone wouldn't help with navigating transport issues but at least they could call a trusted adult for help.

I think a lot of solutions like handing phones in do sound like quite a lot of hassle and admin for teachers.

Unfortunately it's all a bit irrelevant as school won't care what I think.

Edited

Is asking directions seen as a scam now?!

Allfur · 11/05/2024 12:46

Missamyp · 11/05/2024 07:01

Neither my children nor DP's children have any mental health issues. I provide my children with phones so that I can easily locate and pick them up from school. Additionally, they can inform me when they travel alone to their friends or any other place, ensuring their safety.
We've had zero instances of bullying in the two families the social groups are tight-knit and controlled.

So your kids are OK, - are you saying the statistics connecting mental health to technology are made up?

Seeline · 11/05/2024 13:01

Allfur · 11/05/2024 12:42

Is asking directions seen as a scam now?!

No, but it is a known distraction tactic. One asks for help while the other tries to steal the victim's phone/handbag etc

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