Neighbour & too much noise?

[SunshineStreamingThrough]

So I and DD (3) live in a flat above a man who’s probably in his 40s and lives alone. We had a typical neighbourly relationship of saying hello when we’d see each other outside and the occasional conversation etc. In recent months though, when I hoover, or especially when my daughter is playing, if she runs around in the flat he will slam his doors, bang on his ceiling/my floor and sometimes yell ‘shut up’ loudly enough to be heard from one flat to the other.
After this started we haven’t spoken in person, he’s never mentioned anything to me face to face and tbh I think it’s a bit ott and don’t appreciate the passive aggressive slamming and shouting, so I haven’t made attempts to be friendly since then.

My AIBU is basically whether I or my daughter are actually making too much noise and he’s justified?

For additional info, I hoover 1-2x a week and DD and I are out of the house at work/nursery 9 to 5, 3-4x a week, she spends alternating weekends at dads plus when she plays at home generally I’ll stop running/craziness by 7.30pm, she's in bed by 8, and I wouldn’t hoover after then either. Also this neighbour told me he works nights, so I can’t imagine he’s going to bed in order to get up early or anything like that🤷🏻‍♀️

AIBU??

when she plays at home generally I’ll stop running/craziness by 7.30pm

So, up until then there is running and craziness during the day…when he is trying to sleep for his night shift.
If you can hear him shout ‘shut up’ then he can hear everything going on in your place. Even if he didn’t work nights, ‘running and craziness’ would be annoying to put up with. I have an ADHD child and we don’t have running & craziness in the house, that’s for outside only.

Depends if it’s normal child playing noise or child overexcited and screaming/making loads of noise. The former is fine, the latter not. Hoovering is fine.
I understand he’s trying to sleep in the day if he works nights, but then again, you can’t stop normal noise levels to accommodate his very different schedule. For that he needs ear plugs/white noise machine. Or just to move somewhere with no neighbours!

He is obviously living in the wrong place, I remember my gps living in an area popular with young families and complaining about the noise of children playing in their gardens.
As pp said, just make sure your dd isn't shouting and screaming. Have rugs down to absorb more noise. During her crazy hour (all kids have them) take her outside for a run around. If he continues and is making you feel on edge, then complain about him to the landlord.

I suppose I need to clarify further. As I said in my post we’re usually out of the house in the day until at least 5.30pm 3 or 4 weekdays, so it’s only between then and 7.30 when that may happen.

Clarification for when I say running and craziness; what it actually is is sometimes when she’s playing in the living room if she wants something from her room or vice versa she’ll run down the corridor between the two. She doesn’t actually just mindlessly run around. Craziness only happens on occasion if her dad comes by and decides to chase her around which isn’t often.

I understand the principle of it being annoying if you’re trying to sleep for a night shift and people are making noise but isn’t that part of working night shifts you’d have to accept? And if you live underneath other people?

In my opinion it’s normal child playing noise but I suppose part of the reason I wanted others opinions is to see if I’m wrong😂
In general I think were quite considerate of living above him, keeping noisy things like washing machine and hoovering in the day or early evening etc. and as I said in my response above she’s not sprinting around for the sake of it, she just tends to run in the corridor between rooms

I suppose doing things in the day might not be better for him, although he said to me he works nights but seems to have some sort of variable shift pattern, as sometimes he’ll be gone overnight and sometimes in the day for a couple of weeks at a time. So I don’t really know when he works, and overall I don’t feel like I should change my life and schedule to accommodate him at the expense of my own convenience?

I did think this, although mine and the other flats here (it’s just two flats down and two up, like semi detached houses) are all HA, so as much as it might not have been his first choice to live there we all have to make do. It wasn’t my preference to live in the upstairs flat but🤷🏻‍♀️😂 The other two flats on the other side to us are also single mums with young daughters similar ages to my DD.
The whole flat is carpeted apart from kitchen & bathroom.
I do have a garden, but being the upstairs flat it’s not attached so I can’t leave her unattended in there. In an ideal world I’d have an attached garden and love to be able to let her go in and out as she likes while I make dinner but it’s not the case unfortunately! If I don’t start cooking when we get home then having dinner and starting getting ready for bed at 7.30 won’t happen so sometimes I do just have to leave her to her own devices in the flat🤷🏻‍♀️ though that doesn’t include constant running and there’s never shouting and screaming.
I’ve heard from neighbours across the road that there’s been a few incidents of my downstairs neighbour being quite hostile toward people that live around here and apparently once almost having some sort of fist fight, but that was all before I moved in. So that’s partly why I wonder if I should be doing more to stop DD playing or if he’s just one of those people who finds a lot of things unreasonable which other people don’t