To not want to change therapists

[yorkshiremam]

I was seeing a therapist for about 18 months. I got on well with him and made good progress. He had to stop working suddenly (due to illness), so I had to stop seeing him and this wasn't my choice. Although I got about 4 or 5 weeks' notice that we would have to end, it was an unexpected ending and I didn't feel ready yet. I understood his reasons and had empathy for that, but I still found it really, really difficult to suddenly lose this person I liked and trusted.

I have been seeing another therapist since then, for about a year. I also like this therapist but I haven't felt able to open up about certain topics in the same way that I could with the first one. (However there are other topics I can talk about with New Therapist that I wouldn't have felt comfortable raising with Original Therapist). This week New Therapist and I discussed my resistance to broaching these topics and he suggested that I think about whether I thought we were the right fit and if I felt totally safe with him.

I feel conflicted because I really like NT and I do trust him, I'm just afraid of talking in depth about certain topics with him. I'm not sure if I'd feel the same way with any therapist that isn't my original one, because these topics are very personal and I talked to Original Therapist about them and then I suddenly lost that relationship. So I don't know if it would help to change therapists again as I might still feel the same way with another one. But then maybe it isn't the right fit and that's the reason I'm struggling to be fully open with him.

Thoughts appreciated!

Sounds like you developed an unhealthy dependency on your original therapist .

Try another one, there's nothing wrong with feeling more comfortable than some people than others

Thanks, but I don't think so. One of the key factors for therapy to work is the relationship between the two parties involved. It was simply a good match, and it's only natural that it would be difficult to have to go from seeing someone for an hour every week for 18 months, to not at all with very little warning.

What’s the point in having a therapist if you don’t talk about the things that are causing you problems?

I can see why NT might think it’s a waste of time and it does seem like you have unhealthy attachment to OT.

Would you be more comfortable with a female therapist?

I think you should just come out and tell him that you feel uncomfortable telling him about … but here it is. Tell him anyway. What’s the worst he can do? Judge you? Are you judging you? He’s not going to tell anyone and if you don’t like how he reacts, leave him! Does he remind you of a caregiver who you felt you had to keep up appearances with? He could surprise you. Would love if you let us know how you get on! You need to feel close to therapist for therapy to work.