Got pregnant early in a new relationship partner funny about abortion.

[leavingabusetoday]

Basically what the title says I was in a new relationship it was going so well and the guy seemed lovely (I’ve known him years as a friend always been kind nice). I got pregnant and at first in the honeymoon stage I was like let’s have the baby after Few weeks my sickness started and it become real I have two children already and realised I need to be practical and not fairytail and put my babies first. My new parented is saying I’m eveik I medsed him around I care about everyone but him. I won’t change my mind about the abortion but I feel like I’ve done something really horrible and unkind have I?

Agreed. It's only been a few months, far too early for them to have babies together and OP totally made the right decision. For him to call her evil and not listen to her very valid reasons would make me reconsider the relationship.

The most important thing I'd do now though is to make sure my contraception was sorted so it doesn't happen again

I don’t think he’s going to get over it OP. I think your relationship won’t recover.
It’s your body and your choice and it sounds like you made the right choice for you and your children.
That doesn’t mean he has to forgive you.
It sounds like he already saw this pregnancy as his child. And you chose to prevent that child growing and being born.
I think it’s extremely difficult for a relationship to continue when a couple strongly disagree about what action to take when an unexpected pregnancy happens.

Obviously you shouldn’t take his ´evil’ comment to heart. It’s a difficult decision to make when you have other children to consider. I do think that comment is an indication that he feels too strongly about this to forgive and continue the relationship.

100% ‘your body your choice’ , and you appear to have taken the responsible decision for your children, for his, and for your future life.

He has every right to feel sad and upset, but not to blame you for any decision you might have made, and certainly not to call you evil. He needs to take responsibility for his feelings around this.

Including thinking about bringing new children into a set up based on a rose tinted fantasy (an unproven solid relationship) where existing children and (usually primarily) their mothers pick up the impact.

Him calling me ‘evil’ would increase my resolve to have a termination.

A woman is not evil because she fails to fulfill a man’s desire. He has no right to demand that she does. Feel sad, yes. Feel the loss, yes, but not blame her. I would see nothing but red flag in that and run from a lifelong connection (through shared child) from him.

He already has children. You only been with him for a short period. You have decided that having another child is not right for you or the 2 children you already have. You considered your life and kids life going forward. I would have done the same in your situation.
I know he is not happy with your decision but after this you need to use 2 forms of contraception as you don't want to end up in the same situation again.

Hey my abortion in now booked for Friday which I can’t wait for as I have HH and so sick. However my lovely caring boyfriend as soon as I said about the abortion “if your a shit mum and can’t cope with more then two then so be it” “putting a 4 year old above your own salinity” he’s now blocked and I’m excited to come home on Friday hopefully feeling a little less sick and then get my implant on Monday. thank you! Xx

Hope you feel much better afterwards and are also looking forward to the rest of your life free of this man. He has shown you who he is - believe him.

@leavingabusetoday Wish you luck

You've had a lucky escape

@leavingabusetoday Well done for standing up for yourself and getting rid of this charmer!

You are a wonderful mum thinking of your kids and what’s best for your family.