To have found this mum annoying on play date

[kitchenetters]

My DS had a play date recently with a friend from preschool. Both 4.

The mum had always seemed nice and warm etc so I thought it would be nice to have a play date and get to know her and her child a bit better.

It was fine overall but the mum kind of annoyed me. She tried to censor what I was saying - because I said my DS can be stubborn sometimes. She said I shouldn't say that as it's wrong.

Then her DS wanted to play pretend police and I said ok you're the officer and I'm the criminal or something like that and the mum again told me I can't say that.

It was just annoying. I said her son seemed pretty chilled and she went on to massively brag about how amazing he is and how everyone wants to play with him, as he's a good influence.

I have a very low threshold for this kind of stuff. I will not be made to feel like I'm doing things wrong if I haven't even asked your opinion.

I also offered a biscuit and some fruit and she turned her nose up at the biscuit for her child.

I know I'll get destroyed for my apparent ' wrong doing ' that she picked up on, but AIBU to be very selective of which kinds of parents I want to spend time with ?

YANBU she is weird. Also sounds like she will be competitive.

Christ. She sounds like hard work.

Definitely a competitive mother. Don’t invite her again.

If she suggests another playdate just say "I think not"

I think so. It just didn't sit well. Don't need this kind of BS in my life.

She sounds insufferable!

AIBU to be very selective of which kinds of parents I want to spend time with ?

Christ no, definitely side step this one. And any others you come across.

You have no need for exhausting, controlling arseholes like that in your life 😆

And if she asked for another I would just say "No thank you". No explanation.

Does she have to be there

Wednesday used to do play dates at 4 but just the child

Yeah I've already sussed another mum who's super competitive. We had a couple of play dates and I've also put a stop to meeting up again.

It's just better to spend time with like minded parents I think.

Exactly. I think as time passes we all find our own tribe. You can’t be censored or feel unable to be yourself for the sake of a play date.

Based on the description of her behaviour there's no way that mother will leave her child with the OP in case she breaks it by playing cops and robbers!

She sounds highly annoying OP.

@GauntJudy

Yes you are right

Good god no. I'd have no time for that shit

Yeah she does sound annoying and I'd avoid play dates for a while.

The good news is that she should stop accompanying soonish, certainly none of the parents I've encountered would sit and take part in a play date once the kids were about 5, it would be drop and run.

DD is 9 nearly 10 now and it's fab, she goes and knocks on her friends door, or they knock on ours, they hang out in her room or the garden or bike round the nearby streets and I just see them for regular check ins, snack stops or when she's begging for money for the ice cream van.

I don’t agonise over things like this anymore I just avoid these type of people that piss me off.

Your instincts are right, don’t waste another minute on it.

She sounds very annoying op!

I've cut off play dates with some really awful mums over the years. One of the worst had an autistic toddler and she was convinced that because of his autism he was free to do whatever he liked because 'he wouldn't understand being told no' and this included hurting my son! She never asked if he was ok. He'd hit or kick him completely unprovoked then she'd just hug him and say 'aww let's buy you an ice cream!' Fuck off! I lost all contact but heard through someone else he's at school now and is absolute nightmare.

why did she say you couldn't play cops and robbers? I feel like i must be missing something.

you're wrong to judge her for not giving her child biscuits but she does sound quite annoying regardless.

She sounds like a complete dose!!
Avoid at all costs.
She is doing her child no favours going on like that 🙈

Well biscuits are no good for kids at all so I wouldn't disagree with her there.

Cops and criminals isn't really a game I'd want my four year old role playing either so maybe she and I would get on!

There are ways of saying things though so sounds like she wasn't very tactful.

But she’s just a random woman you’ve clearly never really had a conversation with previously, or this would have emerged sooner — so it’s not that surprising, surely? You just have kids the same age, it was never particularly likely you were going to discover a kindred spirit.

I mean, I wouldn't think twice if another parent declined a biscuit for their child - sometimes I do because I know how much sugar he's had across the day and I would always try to encourage him to choose fruit while I still have the ability to do so. So I think in that respect your back has already been up and you're reading into that a bit. The talking proudly about her kid also wouldn't bother me because who doesn't want to reflect on a nice compliment their kid got that made you feel proud.

Equally I wouldn't criticise my child in front of him, but I wouldn't tell another parent not to do so with their child unless they were being over the top and it was harmful to the child. It sounds like she needs to live and let live a bit.

If she's not your type of person then I'd let it go if your ds isn't fussed but if he's really attached to the other child then I'd be inclined to give it another go. I think parents who do this are either very insecure themselves or are totally unaware of how they're coming across to others. You don't need to be best mates with your kids friends mums you just need to be able to be civil and get through the odd playdate. I'd give it an internal eye roll when she's ott and let it wash over you. Opinions are free and binnable at the end of the day!

YANBU. One new mum friend called me ‘hun’ too many times and I knew it was over.

Fuck that

I would never see her again

I don't need to be told how to behave

When DS was small, one of the mothers from school seemed dead keen for her son to be friends with him.

Had a couple of playdates and I swear, all she talked about was her son. Just him. Non stop. All the time. It was incredible.

So I stopped seeing her. No time for that at all