to jump to the conclusion that he is lying?

[beforeImakeahugemistake]

I'm in the process of getting divorced. It's dragging on.I have recently started to get close to someone that I care about a lot. I think he feels the same. Nothing has happened apart from a few kisses, but I really like him and I was planning to take our relationship to the next level once I've moved out of the marital home (my marriage has been dead for a long time, and I'm absolutely not leaving it for this new man).

Anyway, the man in question is currently on a cruise in Europe.
He told me he can only message or call me when he's on land or while the ship is in dock or very close to the different ports they're visiting, and that he doesn't want to pay for the wifi package. Fair enough.

We've been messaging on and off since he left at the weekend, and stopping just after the ship sails. He even messaged me on a sea day, saying he'd got one hour free wifi. All good. Or so I thought.

This evening I sent a photo about half an hour after we'd stopped messaging, supposedly as he was about to lose signal, thinking he'd only get it tomorrow when in dock. But a good half an hour later still I get a ping. He's seen the photo and replied, thanking me for it, but saying he can't message anymore.

I know this sounds slightly unhinged, but this has got my radar going. I've just looked online and seen that there are two possible wifi packages available for 12 or 24 hour periods. No mention of an hour's free wifi.

So now I'm thinking he has got one of the packages, which is obviously fine. But rather than tell me he'd rather enjoy the evenings without messaging me, he's telling me fibs. I just want to say that I would be 100% ok with not messaging in the evenings, and he knows this.

This probably makes me sound completely mad, but if he's lying about this, what else is he lying about? It's so inconsequential but at the same time hugely important to me because he's said from the beginning that he wants complete honesty between us. And he knows what a big thing getting involved with him is for me.

If anyone is actually still reading this, what do you think? AIBU? What's going on?

I am seriously reconsidering our whole relationship based on this one fib. Am I mad?

This sounds way to involved for someone you're casually seeing. Are you sure you're ready to date?

Thanks for the reality check.

Probably not. But this is someone I've known for some time. He's the good friend of a family member, and I felt safe with him.

In the kindest way, yes a bit mad. Take a step back.

You've only recently just started seeing this guy. Perhaps he just wants to enjoy his cruise without being obligated to text people during every hour of the day?
Perhaps he is too tight/doesn't want to get wifi and service drifts in and out.
Perhaps he's on the cruise with somebody else and grabs the opportunity to text you as and when he can.
Loads of possible reasons and you're definitely overthinking at this stage. It's very common to allow an hour free and looking up wifi options is a bit much, as you well know.

So, just to clarify, we have been texting for an hour or so in the late afternoon/evening when he gets back on board. He also sends me photos during the day and has called me a couple of times too.
He is the one who messages me, I'm leaving him to enjoy his holiday. He's with his daughter, by the way, who knows nothing about us which is why we have agreed to scale the messaging back.

But yes, I fully accept that I'm probably overthinking this. I have had no reason not to trust him up until now. But the fact that I'm doubting him suggests that I'm probably not ready to date anyone yet.

Thank you for bring honest and kind.

You're being a bit mad, sorry. I say that in the nicest possible way and as someone who would be exactly the same!

How does he get wifi when he's on the dock or on land? Do you mean 4g from a mast and then when at sea has the choice to connect to the ships wifi?

There's the legitimate reason, right there. He's with his daughter and is taking time out to enjoy the cruise with her.
It sounds like he's contacting you a decent amount given the circumstances. Relax and stop overthinking.

Yes, 4G from a mast when on land, in dock and for a short time after setting sail.
Then no signal other than the "one hour free wi-fi" he told me got on the sea day...but when I looked on line there's no mention of it, just the paid packages.

Again, I really wouldn't mind if he just said he wants to enjoy the evenings with his daughter. But if he's got the wifi package and telling me he hasn't....just why?

He surely has no way of knowing exactly when he is going to lose signal though. So he is using some kind of approximation eg - they've just set sail, or maybe they've announced they are going to. So it will vary a lot.
Checking on the wi-fi packages is madness!

Ok, ok. I'm taking it all in.
Thank you again for giving me a slap! I needed it.

So, just checking...I absolutely don't mention it to him, do I?

Fucking NO. You'll look needy and bonkers.

Absolutely not!

You do get signal that comes in and out for a bit after the boat leaves dock. Especially if it cruise along the coast for a while.

I also had instance where it looked like I had no signal but received texts but couldn't text back.

He likely isn't lying.

Needy and bonkers is definitely not the look I'm going for😁

Thanks everyone.

Feel like a (hysterical) wally.

No comment on whether you're being a little bit bonkers but I can categorically confirm that cruise companies, definitely P and O, do offer a one hour free WiFi. The cost of WiFi onboard is ridiculously expensive so, to entice you in whilst on board and away from any port is to offer one hour free. This isn't advertised on their website. I was away with them a couple of weeks ago and DH used it.

Thank you for confirming that free wifi is definitely a thing.

I feel a billion times better.

I bloody love Mumsnet. 😁

Is it an NCL cruise? They do a free at sea package and one of the items is free WiFi but it’s only for half an hour to an hour a day. I had this last summer

Agree with previous poster. The 1 hour free Wi-Fi is a thing to get people to sign up for longer paid packages

Aw @beforeImakeahugemistake

I am a person that would be googling the wifi deals and knowing it was completely mad!!

It's something about feeling lied to and needing to know if my gut is correct that drives that sort of behaviour in me. Had a childhood of being gaslit which is where mine comes from. And panic/insecure attachment.