So worried about my job, don’t know what to do

[Cantdoitt]

I am a single parent to ds 21 months. I get maintenance and dad is involved but I am quite literally responsible for all ds’s life, especially in the week. I know his dad should do more. He won’t. I have tried many times.

i am very concerned about my job. I am in a professional role and I am missing small things here and there. Nothing major but stuff I would never have missed in the past so it creates extra admin. I am constantly rushing. I rush from the moment I get up to the moment ds is in bed again after nursery. Often exhausted from the stress, I have to collect if he’s unwell etc. I am not performing my best and while nothing has been said I can see it happening soon. I don’t know how to carry on? I’ve used every bit of goodwill that I can, family are often travelling but help when they can. I can’t afford someone to pick up and collect etc for me. Every night I am worrying about work and what will happen if I’m pulled up on something. I am just trying to get through the days.

I don’t really know why I’m posting, just absolutely had enough and feel sick with stress and nobody to talk to.

I have a lot of respect for you. It's hard juggling work with family, lots of us are in a similar situation. You can only do your best and hope people around you realise what else you're managing.

Keep your chin up, you're only human. It gets easier once they're in school.

Have you spoken to your manager ? Requested a flexible working arrangement? Reduced hours? Wellbeing support? If you worked for me I’d be actively helping you to get into a manageable routine, I know it’s hard to juggle but there are loads of solutions, but you do have to ask

Yes I have flexible working, my manager knows. I’ve used all goodwill that I can and still struggling.

I have no option sometimes but to call energy company in work time for example, then that causes me stress as it’s time out of the day but I quite literally have no options as nobody else can do it.

hopeful bump!

Can you afford to cut your hours a bit? Is there something about the flexible working arrangement that makes it not work for you?

I felt like this returning to work when my child was 9 months old and was also a single parent. I hate to say it but it is stressful, and you take it a day at time pretty much until they are older.

You get lunch breaks for that sort of admin? Do a really good overhaul of your finances and get everything paperless, fixed and streamlined to cut down a bit of life admin. Get apps for everything you can so no phone calls required. Focus then on work and your child. If your manager really understands then they won't tell you off for the odd small mistake or time out when your child is ill. Get a good probiotic and vitamin routine in place for you and your child to avoid illness as much as possible. Plan your time effectively- make lunches/clean/tidy/lay clothes out/wash hair etc the night before each day so when you get up in the morning it's just grab and go and less rushing. Work from home more if you can. It is tough but you can make little improvements where possible.

Can the baby's dad help at all? Or the baby's grandparents? Any favours you can call in from friends and family? Is there anyone else at work struggling with childcare? Maybe you could team up to find a solution. It WILL get easier.

I just can’t see the light at the end at all. It’s all so full on and I’m barely keeping it together.

I would struggle to cut hours as money is tight

Do you claim universal credit? There is light at the end of the tunnel because your child is getting older all the time and it will get easier, but I no it’s very full on right now

@TeaKitten but how? They’re will always be school run etc won’t there. And earlier finish to nursery so more like half 3. I’m so worried

Are you getting funded nursery? Or tax free? Are you entitled to UC? Do you claim maintenance? Is your council tax single occupancy?

Can you afford to increase nursery or is your child full time?

When your child starts school you may need wrap around care. My dc goes to after school club it's £7 a session and government pays £1.40 so I pay &5.60. It's until 6pm