To feel panic to owe this much on my mortgage?

[Seoalp]

I’m 36 and recently took stock of my finances after separating from my partner and I am now a single parent to a nursery age child. I own my home but it has an outstanding mortgage of 220k. I feel that approaching 40 this is an awful situation. I have 10k savings and a car on finance. Would you downsize to remove the mortgage? I can manage the repayments but 220k feels like SO much money to owe. I am awake most nights recently worrying about it. My friends never discuss finances at all so I have no frame of reference and feel very alone.

Well, I am 40 and also a single parent. I had to start again at the age of 38 when I split from my exH. I owe close to £250k! Hopefully that makes you feel better. I think it you can afford it and it suits your needs then worry about it later. For now, I need this mortgage as my children need individual rooms, a garden and they need to be in catchment. I plan to downsize and reduce my mortgage when they no longer need that.

Depends on the repayments.

If the repayments are affordable, the debt is affordable. If the repayments are causing you to not eat, the debt is unaffordable. The overall debt at this point doesn't matter, assuming you work?

You probably could do with one of the maths/finance whizzes on here popping on to talk through your options.

In the meantime, are you in a position to overpay your mortgage regularly?

No, if you can manage the payments that's fine. You'll have a decent asset. If you sell now then you've got all sorts of costs.

If you aren't able to manage the payments at any point then you can think about it. But work out how long you have to go, you'll be paying off the capital soon and then it reduces drastically and starts to look more manageable.

It's just a bill.

If you are generally anxious it might be worth talking to your GP?

Don't focus on the total, focus on the payments, can you handle them even if something goes wrong (need a new boiler) and how high the interest rate is - can anything be done to lower the rate? What are the price appreciation prospects for the house? In my area prices have gone up 70% every 10 years so it has been a great investment.

I'm 36 with a partner and kids. We will soon owe £450k mortgage on a £700k house. I'd imagine most of UK home owners in their 30s owe £200k+ depending on where they live.

I realise that if anything happens that means we can't afford the repayments we may need to move. But it doesn't keep me up at night. I love the house and it's worth it to me and is an investment. I appreciate that as a couple we have less risk though.

Nothing needs to be permenant. If it becomes a problem you can sell up, but you may meet someone in the future that means it becomes even more affordable.

rent tends to be more expensive than paying a mortgage. It’s good debt. At the end, you’ll have a considerable asset.
a smaller house would be a smaller asset.

I can manage the repayments and I do overpay about 500 a month but it just feels like it’s such a huge amount. 220k! It’s loads. The house value is around 500k and it’s only gone up 15k in the last two years so not exactly a lot either. I just feel like it’s never ending

Its "only" gone up over 10% in two years? That's pretty good in my book!

With £280k equity, on your own, I really don't think you have much to worry about! If it's keeping you up at night, I agree with a pp that you may benefit from some therapy to handle the anxiety. It's a big responsibility but will be worth it in the long run.

Total mortgage is not a very useful number.

If you can afford the repayments, have a comfortable equity cushion (as close to no risk of negative equity as possible) and the term is within your planned working life then try not too worry.

If you are coming to the end of a fix and are worried about interest rates and your repayments increasing or you have very little equity, then it may be worth looking at options. But moving will eat into all of the savings you have and possibly more once you've factored in all of the fees, moving costs and stamp duty.

Ignoring the total number - what are your concerns?

When I was a single parent I had £390k on my mortgage aged 35. Now I’m married again but the mortgage is over £600k and I’m 40. I think you’re fine, it’s mangable for you so no point worrying about it!

If you can afford to over pay by £500 a month, and still live comfortably, then I am sure you are fine.

@SOBplus 15k isn’t ten percent though!

So you have over 50% equity AND are overpaying £500 a month.

You are doing brilliantly.

A lot of people under 40 are currently doing "interest only" in the (forlorn) hope it comes down at some point later on. Many people under 40 haven't even bought yet. Certainly wouldn't get sleepless nights over that, I can only imagine there's something underlying which is causing the anxiety - eg job insecurity?

I'm starting over again aged 39 and have a £200k mortgage. I don't give it a second thought right now!

If you're managing the repayments and overpaying I think you can relax a bit.

In how many years will you be mortgage free?

10% of mortgage is £22,000 but you are extremely unlikely to have a 100% mortgage so it has to be at least 10% of the house value!

@SOBplus sorry I see what you mean!

If you can manage to overpay by 500 a month you will surely finish paying it off in 10-15 years? So it's fine?

If you would feel more comfortable in a smaller house with a smaller mortgage and want to have lots of holidays etc, then do it! Less to clean and probably much cheaper repairs too :)

I’m 48 and currently owe (with DH) £450k. However, the house is worth around £1.1 million so I just keep reminding myself of how much equity we have rather than focusing on the amount owed.

My last post overlapped with your update.

If you have more than 50% equity and you're over paying - then I'm sorry but your are being frankly ridiculous to worry about this.

You are in a better position than so many people who have genuine fears over losing their house.

Your post is tone deaf and insensitive.

Forget about how much £220k feels, that's not what to focus on.

If you can overpay by £500 a month and still meet all your other expenses, have a decent life and save for the future, that's more important.

Does the house suit your needs in terms of size/location? Do you like it?

What would downsizing look like? Would you still have somewhere nice to live? Remember that moving is expensive.

Do you have protection in place in case you couldn't work? Work sick pay, life insurance, income protection insurance etc?

If I was in your shoes I’d be very happy to have so much equity and be overpaying and managing it all solo, sounds like a great financial position to be in (our mortgage keeps me up at night sometimes but nearly 350k and SAHM / single earner household!)

@flipent i haven’t meant to be insensitive. My break up is recent (last month) and this is a huge change for me and caused me a lot of anxiety