To complain about colleague that dominates meetings talking crap?

[palmroyale]

One colleague talks and talks and talks. He dominates every meeting, whether the meeting is on a video call or in person.

He drones on for sometimes half an hour at a time, often about non work related crap. I have tried to interrupt/stop him many a time but he'll say 'hold on, let me finish what I'm saying' and continues with another 10 minute monologue.

He also interrupts everyone, so for example if I asked a question to our managers during the meeting he would just butt in and hijack my question or hijack their answers, and his answer would just be a load of bullshit followed by a monologue.

I've spoken to my manager about him several times and he agrees that it is annoying and inappropriate behaviour but says it is just how this man is and it's not fair to expect people to change their entire personality.

To add, if on the rare chance I get to add anything in a meeting without this man butting in, I would be shut down by our managers changing the subject after maybe 30 seconds of me talking.

AIBU to raise a grievance about this behaviour?

Who chairs the meetings??

The joys of mansplaining. Find another job.

@PineappleTime Our managers chair the meetings. There are 4 of them so it could be all of them or any combination of them

That is terrible managing.

Your managers sound shit, as does he, but bluntly I don't think you're doing yourself any favours in putting your head above the parapet to sort it.

Let the managers earn their money.

This is extremely poor and sexist people management.

My manager would shut this down straightaway.

Do you have to attend every meeting?

Are they over Teams or in person?

Does anyone write up minutes of those meetings? Why not offer to do that? It would be really funny to give a true record of what happens.

Our managers are very weak. All nice men but so weak. This colleague also does loads of inappropriate things in the job too, things that we aren't supposed to do. He makes loads of shortcuts in the work.

I feel like the management are intimidated and in awe of him

I always feel the 'ok thanks, moving on now ... item 1 on the agenda ... ' approach works, just power through and don't let them talk!

Your managers need to attend a management skills course.

Agree, your managers are doing a very poor job of leading meetings. Are they going into them with clear goals and agendas?

They do, but OP isn't in a position to make that happen, and she'll do herself no favours by saying as much.

I probably won't do myself any favours for complaining, I agree. It's just so irritating. Meetings that are supposed to take 10 mins take an hour or more because of him. Attendance is compulsory. The meetings are daily.

I think there's been one of these guys everywhere I've worked.

People's eyes glazed over and sliding slowly down their chair under the conference table in boredom.

Your managers are weak. They must enjoy wasting so much extra time in meetings otherwise they put a stop to it.

When I lead, I stick to the agenda and redirect with, "There's obviously a lot of details, so why don't we set up another time to discuss this after the meeting?" then redirect to item on the agenda.

Another is passing a football. Only the person holding the football is allowed to speak. I do that for stand up meetings.

If he interrupts you, have you tried saying what he does: 'hold on, let me finish what I'm saying'?

Can you suggest to your managers that they adopt a 'round robin' style so everyone gets a turn to speak uninterrupted? I find that that's quite necessary on a virtual meeting particularly where it's not easy to see cues that people want to speak.
(for a limited time, 'OK we've got 15 minutes for this item, so can I have everyone's thoughts please but I'll need you to limit yourselves to 3 minutes each, I'll let you know when you've 30 secs left')

Sounds like your managers are rotten at managing and rotten at chairing meetings - and this guy is taking full advantage.

Much as I love the passing the ball idea I don't think he would take much notice of it. Even if managers say it's time to move on to another person or discussion item he will ignore them. I can imagine with a ball he'd start throwing it around

This sounds awful. Agenda and minutes should sort him out. Document decisions and outcomes (presumably none) Minute it all and then after a few months show management the minutes.

Can you say at the start of the meeting "I can only stay for 15 minutes today as have xyz to do so can we all keep on track/to the agenda". Then once he starts monologuing interrupt with a 'I have to go in 5 minutes so can we just address (other agenda item) and come back to this at the end?'

We have this... if online meetings I just crack on with my work. If face to face I take in a document I need to read and do that when the monologue commences.
It reduces my blood pressure.

We do have one manager whom is great at shutting them down after a few minutes. The talkative person hates those meetings....

I've spoken to my manager about him several times and he agrees that it is annoying and inappropriate behaviour but says it is just how this man is and it's not fair to expect people to change their entire personality.

think. What would a man do? He would not put up with this. Hold up your hand - in person - and say something like "this is not pertinent to the meeting" "this is not appropriate" "half an hour of this meeting with 5 managers costs the company 200 pounds. We have to stop talking about unrelated issues"

In teams: just butt in and say "we have limited time. If we are not going to keep to the subject of the meeting i am leaving and will expect your meeting summary to cover points i have missed"

The ONLY way to handle this is to play them at their own game. And at some point a male manger will tell you that your behaviour is unacceptable. At which point you show them how it is the same as the rest of them and if they don't want a discrimination case they can STFU. (be more business like)

but: your meetings should have an agenda. And a clear time limit. I usually schedule either 25 or 50/55 minutes. And have an agenda. If I'm not running the meeting and i know there is likely to be a bore or someone who faffs - i ask for the agenda. If no agenda is forthcoming - i decline the meeting.

there is an excellent book called How To Lead When You're Not In Charge which may help.

But generally i find working out the average cost of everyone's time while the twits faff about really grabs attention.

It sounds irritating and you clearly can’t stand him, but I can’t see what sort of grievance you’d raise. I mean what would you say, Johnnie talks too much and I find it mostly crap? That’s not a grievance.

Is the meeting scheduled for 10 mins or an hour?

I'd book something quite important straight after so the I had to leave after 15 mins at most.

Don’t put yourself under the stress of starting a grievance. Just get out!
How long are these meetings?? Not every workplace is like this!