To say BIL gift was an afterthought?

[baraahp24]

My in-laws have never bothered too much with me. I’m the wrong nationality/wrong religion/the one who stole their darling boy away from them etc etc.

After many years of trying I stopped bothering too much with them also. This has been fairly easy as they live abroad.

One BIL is the best of the bunch and has made the most effort. However, a recent present from him has me divided. He sent gifts for each of us. For DH and DS they were thoughtful. For me, however, I received a random regifted book. This was obvious in that written on it was something along the lines of “Dear BIL name. Thanks for all your hard work on the photos of the launch. Best regards, Susan”. He had received the signed book as a thanks along with payment for his photography work.

This made me laugh and I’m not upset at all, but DH is annoyed and claims this is a thoughtful and special gift. I could see this being the case if it was an author I liked or a topic I liked, but my thoughts are that this is obviously an afterthought. He doesn’t want it so gave it to me.

AIBU?

hahahaha! PLEASE do this OP and report back.

I wonder if he even realised the book was signed? He probably received it and wasn't interested so didn't open it to see the message written inside. Then though a newly-received book would be a useful gift to pass on.

It wasn't autographed by the writer/photographer! It just had a thank you message written in it to the BIL from one of his clients. It was a corporate gift.

It doesn't sound like this was a birthday present to OP, just something that was sent to her in a package with stuff for his brother and nephew.

I wouldn't see it as a gift at all. So no need to come up with imaginative birthday presents in return.

Is 'Susan' the author of the book? Is she well-known? Is the Book on a subject or topic in which you've ever expressed an interest?

If someone gave me a book marked "Dear Fred, thanks for your help launching The Colour of Magic. Regards, Terry" I don't think I'd be too annoyed that it was re-gifted.

You and I could be friends I think 😁 I like your style

"DH is annoyed and claims this is a thoughtful and special gift."

DH is talking rubbish, and I think that's more of a problem than BIL's 'gift'.

It's a special book to him. It's signed by the author for whom he obviously did the launch photos. It will mean a lot to him, so it's a generous gift. It's sad that it doesn't mean much to you, but don't dismiss it as a 'regift.'

Some people will really accept scraps and be glad to z

It’s obviously a regift. Why is DH so invested in being a thoughtful gift? Do you get the presents for his family? I hope not!

If it is a book signed by the author and which contains your BILs photographic work, then it is quite a cool gift.
If it is a random corporate gift book given by Susan, a client (not the author) that your BIL has done some photography for, then it is considerably less cool and your DH is being ridiculous.

Next time you see BIL give him the book back. Tell him you thought he probably didn't realise that he'd given you a book dedicated to him and given it to you by mistake and you thought he would probably want to keep it.

Watch his face.

Does it matter, if u don’t like it give it to charity, much more important things to worry about than being petty about a gift.

You can worry about more than one thing at a time

And I don't actually think the OP was 'worried' anyway

Just wondering if the book contained his photographs and the book was a signed copy from the author he may have thought you would appreciate the signed copy as a gift of his photography

Hey, Really love the book! - and Well Done! Congratulations! - But you also have to send the "photos of launch," so I can put it in context. Love you xx

Charity shops also don’t like to have any old crap dumped on them. Most of ours around here don’t even take books anymore.

And no, a book with a personal message to someone not receiving the gift is really not on, unless it’s a collectors item/antique.

Give it back next birthday crossing out the name of the person who gave it to him and writing your name above it.

Oh dear lord you really have no concept of reality do you. If what you said was true he would have told op this. He would have explained this. What is more likely is he forgot it was signed and gave it as a re gift.

I think regifting (or secondhand gifts) are totally fine when there is a thought behind them. He knows you absolutely love Italy and mystery novels and he has a copy of a mystery novel set in Italy. Give it! But if it has nothing to do with your interests or don't see a connection why he though of you? That's just a shit gift and he didn't want to spend money on you.

I'm really curious on how husband is justifying this as a thoughtful present?

Oh, dear lord, you have no concept of what signed books, especially those with a personal link, can mean to people.