To be too insecure to date? & to hate sending selfies?

[Greenhouse12]

I 28F recently made a tinder got lots of likes and matches and started talking to a guy but he’s constantly asking me for selfies

ive realised my addiction to filters and as embarrassing as it sounds dont feel comfortable sending pictures

thinking to just delete social media and end things with this guy (he has once met me in person but only for 10 minutes as I was passing by)

am I the only one that feels like this? I didn’t really notice the effects of social media but I feel like I'm obviously not in the right place to date

Am I being over the top? I'm not sure what to say to him

It's ok to say no to selfies. You don't need to end it with this guy. Can you arrange another meet up to see if you get on well in person?

It's fine not to want to date for any reason, but I don't think you are going to suddenly feel great about yourself, without time/therapy, plus this man has seen you in person for 10 min, so it's hardly like you are pretending to be someone you are not. Don't send selfies to him now if you don't want to, if he's seen you once and work on your self-esteem.

Thank you for the replies we do have a meet up arranged but it hasn't stopped him asking and honestly when I see the message of him asking I feel sick

In real life I do get asked out but I just hate how I look on camera

If you don't want to send selfies then don't - that seems fine.

But I think the implication of your OP is that you have used filters on your main tinder pics? I can't see how that progresses well at the next stage, whether it's selfies or meeting in person?

@justonemoreuser i do agree with you it did work out okay with the person I met but regardless I agree

And is definitely a reason I don't think I'm ready to date.

It’s completely fine to tell him you don’t want to send selfies and to bin him off if he doesn’t accept that.

It doesn’t sound as though dating should be your priority when you have such low self esteem and are very insecure: it makes you far more vulnerable to people who will take advantage of that. Is there some reason in particular you’re insecure about your appearance and feel you have to use filters whenever you’re being photographed? Focusing on that would be the place to start. Learn to love who you are and the body you come in. Take up an activity which gives you a sense of achievement and pride, a sport which shows you how strong and capable your body can be, take care of yourself properly with good diet and nutrition.