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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like an awful parent

1 reply

Justkeepswiimming · 08/05/2024 08:02

I'm a single parent. My daughter is an only child and is 6. She's grown up to be able to play really well on her own, but just recently she's really started asking me quite constantly to play with her. I am trying to do this, but of course I can't do it all the time. I've tried telling her that mummy needs to clean, cook, have a hot coffee, get the washing out, go to the loo, hoover etc. I assume this is some sort of manifestation of an issue, that probably reflects badly on me not giving her enough attention or time.

We do go out lots, we do walks, go to the beach, do special things together, but when we're at home I can be guilty of getting distracted by all the things that need doing. I am trying to be better with this and actively set aside time for just her when we're at home to do things like reading, games, snuggling in front of the telly before bed. Snuggling in bed in the morning.

But I think she's expecting me the play all the time and I feel like the worst parent for saying no. I feel guilty that she's on her own. She's clearly a bit lonely. She is telling me that daddy plays with her all the time. Which immediately makes me feel even shitter. He does have more family support than me. I try and get stuff done when she's with him to give me more time, but with 2 dogs the mess is pretty much persistent. I'm torn between having a nice clean house that I don't feel ashamed to have her friends come and play in, or being a hands on parent letting it slip, or doing it in my down time before bed. At the moment I'm failing at both of the above.

Am I being awful for saying no to her. How do I manage this without feeling more overwhelmed by everything that needs doing than I already do.

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 08/05/2024 08:06

I’ve be handing her a duster and playing cleaning together! You shouldn’t feel guilty at all, just include her in all your jobs!

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