To not let my 8 year old supervise my 1 year old around Lego

[didyouseetodaysrainbow]

DH thinks it's ok to leave DS1(8) supervising DS2 (22 months) in their bedroom in the mornings while we sleep. The bedroom has Lego accessible and also a bunk bed DS2 can get up. DS1 would stop him if he saw him doing something that was unsafe but I don't think we can (Or should!) rely on him to look after DS2 without an adult. DH thinks I helicopter parent and need to just let them get on with it

AIBU for thinking my 22 month old still needs constant adult supervision or am I robbing my DS1 from learning responsibility?

It isn't up to your eight year old to supervise your toddler. If your DH insists, tell him to run it past the eldest teacher. You both decided on another, you parent your son.

Your DH is being so unreasonable here. This is not fair on either of your kids. I’d barely leave an 8 year old in charge of a toddler while I went in another room let alone while every adult was asleep.

If anything happened to the toddler that big brother, a boy of eight, would have that on his conscience for the rest of his life. Your husband is opting out of parenting, quelle surprise.

Wow there is no way you should be leaving a child in charge of a younger child. 8 is nowhere near old enough to even be left home alone, so why would you give them responsibility of looking after their toddler sibling??

YANBU. You cannot expect an 8yo to have the maturity to anticipate all the dangers a toddler might encounter.

No it’s not fair, your eldest won’t have the vigilance needed.

It’s too outing to say but a friend of mine her youngest had a life changing accident under the supervision of the older sibling. It will haunt them all forever. It always gives me the shivers thinking about an older sibling playing away in their own little world, while the younger one gets into silent danger. Especially if there’s things they might put in their mouth, choking is usually silent.

It’s crap getting up early, but you need to swap and take it in turns. It’s part of what you sign up to when you go for another baby. The sleepless nights/early mornings/hyper vigilant cycle starts from the beginning.

No, sorry, you are correct, your 8 year old absolutely cannot supervise your 22 month old while you are both asleep! You just need to take it in turns for a lie in.

Absolutely not. I’m an extremely relax parent and baby proofing went completely out the window by number 3, but the responsibility of watching the safety of a toddler should not be held by an 8yo. If they were in a baby proofed room I’d probably be ok as long as we were only lying in bed and could hear them.

No. You get up and parent your children properly.

I don’t think an 8yo can supervise a toddler no. But why is there Lego in their room? Surely the toddler can access the Lego or the bunk bed whether the 8yo is there or not? Or am I misunderstanding?

(I assume they share a room and the 22mo is in a bed because mine share and my toddler was out of a cot by 20 months)

So instead of the adult parent actually parenting the young child who is barely old enough to be unsupervised themselves should do it?

You are right, but he is telling you the safety of your child is less of a priority than his sleep. Children under three should be closely supervised by a parent. If anything happened and you had an A&E trip SS would not be impressed when contacted.

I agree with you. My older son is 11 and whilst he’s very kind and caring with his younger brother (6) I’ve made it very clear his brother’s safety isn’t his responsibility.

He’s to tell us if there’s a dangerous situation evolving and obviously keep an eye but keeping him safe is up to an adult.

@EverybodyLTB so sorry to hear about your friends child, that's awful. And it's what I'm afraid of.

@PurBal DS2 is in a cot and he can't climb out. I always supervise him in the bedroom in the daytime. He doesn't generally put Lego in his mouth now, maybe because he's been around it all his life but I'd never trust him to definitely NOT do it.

I've said to my DH that if he won't get up and supervise sometimes then I'll just have to do all the early get ups as I wouldn't leave them alone together. He won't let me do that as he sees how unfair it is but still doesn't agree supervision is necessary!

Your DH is wrong. You are right. Your little one is too young to be without adult supervision when awake.

Honestly, now you know his attitude, can you really ever trust him to actually supervise the kids - I don’t think you’ll be able to enjoy a lie in as you will be worrying about your DH’s poor parenting skills. What a twerp he is.