To be afraid of travelling to the US?

[AIBUtravel]

My mum’s American, fell in love with my dad whilst studying in the UK. She has a large family we have always travelled to visit and are quite close with. Because of the pandemic we haven’t been in a few years and are now planning a trip this summer to see my nan, it will likely be the last time we see her and she can see my DCs.

I love my mum’s family and there is much to enjoy in the States. But it also seems like a bit of a madhouse these days. My mum’s family is in California in a nice part but there are still reports of gun violence at random places (on the motorways or in car parks shopping centres, that sort of thing). And of course all of the political fighting and strife. I read the news about protests and fireworks being shot into crowds recently at student protests. It just seems so unstable!

This will be our first trip with DCs and honestly the possibility of random gun violence has me on edge. It is important to me to see my Nan before she goes and have my DCs meet her but I do feel anxious about it. AIBU? I don’t feel I can bring this up with them as I know they do worry about it (their primary aged children do gun drills at school etc.) and I don’t want them to feel I’m looking down on them.

I'm sure you'll be fine, there's idiots running round with chain saws and machetes in the UK .

In California, I'd be more worried about earthquakes than guns! But realistically the chances of being caught up in either are small.

Bad things can happen anywhere, at any time. You are being completely irrational.

So stay home 🤷‍♀️ Not sure what you’re looking for in this thread or what anyone can do or say to put your mind at ease. Either you get over your irrational fear and or stay home

I’ve been dozens of times, just seems like things have spiralled a bit out of hand in the past few years. Our family in fact is keen to move to the Uk to get away from the madness 🥴

I'm more worried flying Boeing to the US!

Millions of US citizens are living their lives every day without a problem.

I lived there for years without encountering gun violence. Most people are just normal.

Go and see your nan and enjoy all the great things the US has to offer.

I think you're being a bit OTT here.

So then wait for them to move back to the UK to see them.

I really don’t know what you’re expecting from this thread?

Where in California OP? My DHs family are in San Francisco. Unfortunately there are areas that I wouldn’t go but that’s no different to any large U.K. city really. However it’s a huge state and there are more places I feel safe than not.

There are some areas in some US cities that really are no go areas but your family will know where they are. I have family in the States and have travelled over about 20 times in the last 30 years and have never seen anything concerning.

Make sure you do the basics.

Good travel insurance
Keep out of less salubrious neighbourhoods after dark
Book any taxis in advance. Avoid Uber.
Carry a bag/wallet to give to any muggers, and keep your real credit card/cash in a secure inside zip pocket
Carry a non-flashy mobile phone with a local sim.

Then enjoy yourself. The chances of anything bad happening are tiny. And you have local 'guides' (family). They'll look after you.

You are perhaps more risk aware since taking DC with you.

It’s a risk assessment whenever you set foot outside the door - try to focus on what they will gain from the trip.

We can't reassure you that nothing will happen as we can't know that but likewise it seems uncomfortable to tell you not to go. I don't know what you want from this thread either. There are risks everywhere OP, if we think about them too much they can become massive obstacles which seems to be the case here. I have family in America too and although they are not keen on the gun laws and have experienced a horrible shooting near where they live their lives continue as do ours over here.

Yes and no. I think of these things too. But you have to go cos of your nan. I feel this way everytime I go to Europe to see in laws (every summer). Part of it is due to lack of control when I'm there. Boredom. Being looked down upon by the whole family every time I raise a concern (me a city girl vs them country folk). But last time was more enjoyable than I expected, so I'm going to try and worry less this time round. Fingers crossed for both of us! :)

You’re more likely to have a car crash on your way to the local supermarket, or fall down your stairs at home, then get shot at whilst on holiday in America. I’ve never even seen a gun that didn’t belong to law enforcement/military and I lived in Chicago for 3 years which you’d think from the news is a cesspit of lawless violence. Go visit your nan, you’ll regret if you don’t.

I lived in London for 15 years and everyt ime there was any sort of life-threatening incident, my Mum was on the phone, terrified I might be involved. Attempts to explain how BIG London is and how things happening in the centre were unlikely to involve me (especially on a weekday) as I lived in a west London suburb fell on deaf ears.

As others have said, the likelihood of you being anywhere near any sort of bother is infinitesimally small.

Listen to family they will know the places to avoid not some random traveller who wondered around these areas and can now claim they are safe

tourists stick out and are always an easy target

quite a few areas of California particularly LA and SF have really deteriorated it’s shocking the homelessness is such a big issue

just be sensible

My son has lived out there for 15 years with no problems. The locals know what areas to avoid, and crime can happen anywhere anyway.

It's fine. I was in Boston over Christmas and had a great time. You can't let fear stop you from living life to the full, and it's not a war zone! Mexico now, I'd hesitate there.