To think I am a single parent

[Funinthemud]

Am I fair in thinking I am a single parent

This has come about as a work colleague who is also a single parent keeps making comments on how I am not a real single parent compared to her

For context her ex partner has them ever other weekend Friday after school to Monday morning and one night during the week

I have them every night, my ex does the school run for me and has them on an ad-hoc basis for an afternoon or evening most weekends

I am in a relationship but we do not live together and that will not change any time soon,

Her reason for saying I'm not a real single parent is because I do not do the school run, I don't do that as my job involves traveling around the UK so practically I can not do it as can't guarantee to be home on time

The second I'm back she then leaves and I take over

My ex does not have them for sleep overs as her housing is not adequate for them to stay over (she would rather work less hours and pursue her own interests)

I am just doubting myself as she keeps going on about how much harder she has everything

No you’re not a single parent. You are able to share the mental load with both your ex and your partner. It’s hard being a single parent mostly due to having to make every decision alone.

Sounds like OP is a single parent. Doubt current partner is actually doing any parenting. And doesn't sound like ex is taking on any of the mental load; collecting children and taking them to school is hardly being an involved parent- a driver/babysitter seems far more fitting. Sounds like you'll are both single parenting differently but single parenting nonetheless.

So that would also mean the OP's colleague is not a single parent as her ex has the kids every other weekend?

It’s not a competition.

Sharing the childcare, child chores, mental load, having financial contributions etc are all things genuinely single parents don’t have.

Yes, you're a single parent, not that labels matter anyway.

Also, your ex doesn't do the school run for you, she does it for her kids. She's not doing you a favour, she's just working towards pulling her weight as she should.

I think the wording is subjective.
I think of people who live alone with their kids as single parents, and people like me with no other parent involved at all as lone parents. I’m sure others will think of it differently.
But if your colleague classes herself a single parent, then she should class you one too. Not that it matters one bit what anyone else thinks you are. Your situation is what it is.