About air brushing my children's photo

[ThunderSnacks]

My three year old has a very obvious scar on her face that she's likely to have in some form forever. My parents look a lovely photo of her at the weekend but I've realised they've airbrushed it out.

I feel really angry about it. There is some back story regarding pressure to be "perfect" as a child myself and so can't tell if I'm over reacting?

I don’t think you’re over reacting. This type of attitude could really hurt your DD as she grows up. You need to ask them to only use the original photo.

I would be absolutely FURIOUS.

My DD has a facial birthmark and if my parents did this I would be livid with them.

They're telling your child something is wrong with them and their natural state is something to be ashamed of.

I would be airing it out with them immediately.

I was asked by a photographer whether we wanted to airbrush off her eczema. I also found it insulting and said no

I don't think you're overreacting either. Your parents sound very weird. My DD has a scar on her face from when she was 1.5. It was a scratch from a rose thorn. It's never gone, you can see it in certain lights. But she actually loves it. She has a few from falls and a big one from an op and she says they are part of her. She is 15 now and I love her attitude. Your parents' attitude is damaging. I would go ballistic.

Wow
Awful behaviour. I couldn’t let this one go.

Definitely ask them in a way like "Oh, that doesn't look like DD at all, I mean where is her scar? It's part of her. Are you saying that you don't like part of your grandchild?" kind or way...

That sucks bigtime.

I would send them a photo with their grey hair, bald spots and wrinkles airbrushed out.

Actually I have another thought. Can you get multiple copies of the original photograph?

I'd go over for a visit and if the photo is on a coffee table for example, I'd (as discreetly as possible) take the photo with me to the kitchen/bathroom and swap out the airbrushed photo for the original and then replace the photo back on the coffee table.

Don't say anything. By replacing the photo, you've actually spoken more than you would have to otherwise.
See if they swap it back.

Repeat if required.

You are certainly not overreacting to this, it's a dreadful thing to do. Definitely tackle them about it, because if they've done it this time, they will keep doing it.

YANBU. The real question is, how do you want to deal with it? Do you go ballistic and have it out with them in the immediate future? Or do you bide your time until the next family outing, take a bunch of photos and replace your parents' heads with cat heads in every single picture?

My dd has quite a pronounced scar in the middle of her forehead, running from her hairline to her eyebrow. She was quite insulted when given an airbrushed school photo as a young teen.

Even without a back story, I don’t think scars should be airbrushed.

YANBU, I'd be very hurt (and have no back story, we get on well with all grandparents). It looks like our eldest might end up with a scar on her temple, she doesn't even seem aware of it now but I'd hate her to think it's something to be hidden.

I would be bloody furious! What a horrid thing for them to do.

I hope you have it out with them

YANBU, but I'd explain your rationale to them gently and then stay firm on it.