To Ask DH to set boundaries with MIL

[TeaXbiscuit]

I'm currently pregnant with my first child.

Throughout mine and DHs relationship , my MIL has often pushed boundaries. For instance, she gets upset when she hears that my husband and I have done things together without her and FIL, like taking a day trip just the two of us. She expects us to invite them to everything we do, and has shown up to places when we've gone out just to two of us.

She mentioned that she wants to see the baby every weekend for day trips. I would like this limited to once a month, so my own parents also have time with the baby and we get some time as a family, just the three of us.

She also assumes she'll be at the hospital for the baby's birth, but I'm not comfortable with that either. I’d prefer to have just my husband and medical staff.

I want to set these boundaries now, while I still have some time to communicate my expectations clearly.

DH thinks we can address these issues as they come up, but I believe that if we don't set boundaries now its just going to cause issues.

AIBU?

'It was a date Marjorie and most of our conversation consisted of Dave telling me what he was going to use to tie me up when we got home. But if that's the sort of thing that gets you and Ken going we'll be sure to invite you next time.'

I'd start information diet now. No need to start things, but address as they come up. Tell DH if he won't confront it you will and you'll be far less polite.

If she says outright about being at the hospital tell her will only be you and DH. If she moans ask her why she's so interested in your vagina and whether she would like you to accompany her and watch her have a cervical smear test. Remind her you're not an incubator.

If she says she wants to see every weekend laugh. Good one MIL. She asks why you laugh? Because of course that won't be happening, you'll also be seeing your family and having family time the three of you.

Laughing like shes nuts will make you feel better. Because she is.

Do NOT get locked in to any kind of regular arrangement. She’s a grandparent, not a parent with set custody.

You’re going to have your work cut out for you if DH doesn’t start shutting her down.