To think it’s a damn shame men no longer ask colleagues out

[MartyJshawnM]

In my salad days it was pretty common for colleagues to start relationships, which often ended in marriage.

Now because of men fearing sexual harassment/ wokism / wfh, this rarely happens, and I think that is a damn shame. Where else are you meant to meet someone? The workplace is the most normal place.

i think there should be safeguards to stop a senior employer asking out a junior employee as there is a clear power difference at play.

I know of 6 couples who met through work and are happily married for 20+ year

EDIT: ignore the men asking colleagues out; it should read colleagues asking each other out

What are salad days? The men I know who chose not to do that aren't helb back by fear. For some it is respect, due to the power imbalance for others it is for their own sake of not wanting to potentially have to see an ex at work. Fear! Ridiculous idea.

Also, every single job I've had, people still ask each other out. This weekend I'm going g to a house warming of two colleges who recently got together.

Why do men have to do the asking? So they aren't obliged to do domestic tasks?

People still ask each other out.

The way you phrased your post reads very "the good old days"...

But those days were not good.
Hence decades of abuses of power and the need for the MeToo movement.

Even when there is no power imbalance due to job role, there IS a gender power imbalance.

Regardless, I know many workplace relationships and friends who met partners in various industries.

I can’t think of anything worse than dating someone from work. My relationship life and my work life need to be completely separate. Don’t shit where you eat.

I too remember starting work in the mid 80s and most relationships started at work! Colleagues went out with each other and many couples married (most divorced too but will ignore that!). I think it’s a shame that those heady days are over.

Rubbish. Of course people still get together at/through work.

It's not woke not to want to be sexually harassed. There are clear differences to anyone with half a brain.

Are you a bloke?

People ask colleagues out all the time. It's not unusual at all. I work with my DP and we're not even the only couple in our department, let alone the organisation.

The term 'woke' is meaningless bullshit.

"My salad days, when I was green in judgement". It's a Shakespeare quote (Cleopatra?). Just means young and naive.

I know quite a few people in recent years who have got together with colleagues. But in general, people use dating apps now - I also know people who have married partners they met online too. Things change but I don't see why it matters.

I don’t know anyone who met their partner at work. I did it once and it was awful and cringey when we broke up. To know a colleague had seen me naked and had sex with me and now we weren’t together we just had to act like that didn’t happen…I left within a year.

I'm glad my OH asked me out.... 20 years ago.

But even then, I was a bit worried what would happen if we broke up. How would that affect our ability to work. Who would inevitably have to leave and find work elsewhere?

We kept it very quiet - although our emails back and forth would of raised a few eyebrows had anyone gone through them. No-one knew - to my knowledge at least.

A year or so down the line, I left for a better offer and colleagues found out about us as I left.

I think it's still relatively common for relationships/dating in large companies with multiple sites etc. Not so much with SMEs, because nobody wants to have to regularly avoid an ex/someone who turned them down while making tea/at the printer. Many people also see mixing dating/relationships and work as unprofessional.

There are four married couples in my Head office, it's not a PC thing.

Asking someone for a drink after work or expressing an interest in a date isn't going to get you strung up by HR, as long as you accept their response.

Yes, it’s so ‘woke’ that women can’t be sexually harassed at work legally any more.

People do meet at work. It’s just less likely that the boss can coerce his secretary to shag him or promote someone who does anymore.

"Wokism" 🙄

Don't they? Pretty much every single teacher in my kids school is married to another teacher at the school 🤣 literally thinking about it the other day after another one is off on mat leave made me wonder if teachers only date other teachers it's pretty much all of them!

I met my DP at work and we have been together 4 years so hardly in the ancient past.

I know of at least 3 couples my age (30s) who met at work.

It wasn't as simple as one of them randomly asking the other out because they liked the look of the other. You get to know each other over a number of months/years.

Which particular ark did you come out of with that "back in the day" guff. Preventing sexism has nothing to to do with people getting together and everything to do with people keeping their unwanted advances to themselves.

There are circumstances where people can and do get together and those where they don't, but equally just because they can doesn't mean they should. That's nothing new, it's just sensible.

Edited to be clear.

I think it's a shame too. That said, I know many people who met at work and are in relationships/married now. Usually the relationships officially started up once one (or both) left. So people must still ask each other out just more secretively.

Colleagues can still ask each other out.

I think it’s good that it is frowned on more, as many women would get harassed at work by multiple male colleagues.

If 2 adults like each other then there’s nothing stopping them from developing their friendship which can then turn into a relationship.

I personally couldn’t think of anything worse though.
I would hate to work with my partner and I wouldn’t want to leave my job for a man.

i am quite happy to sacrifice potential happiness with dave from IT for the sake of getting rid of rampant sexual harassment and misogyny. in fact I would rather be a nun than go back to the "good old days" ta very much

Colleagues married or in relationships with each other is pretty common where I work. I met my husband at work.

Yes, the days of sexual harassment and pay gaps. Nostalgic sigh.

You’ve got some odd ideas, OP. People still enter relationships with colleagues.

How old are you? I’m late 40s, and just assume that a reasonable portion of the 20-somethings I work with are shagging each other just as enthusiastically as we did 25 years ago, but I’m oblivious because they aren’t right under my nose all the time. They can probably get away with it a lot more easily when almost all communication is via Teams. Just because you don’t know, doesn’t mean it’s not going on.