AIBU for expecting my nearly 4 year old to take part??

[RenegadeMrs]

I have just left a junior gymnastics early with my daughter because for about the third group in a row she was messing round and not taking part. I don't expect her to do everything, the group is pretty chilled because its aimed at younger kids, but she had literally not done a single thing asked of them since we'd got there and I am pretty fed up of it. I told her we'd leave if she didn't try and join in before we got there, and as she wasn't joining in, we left. I didn't shout at her but was firm and she was upset.

My question is, am I unreasonable to expect her to take part in the activity we are doing? How can I encourage her to join in? She is not shy, just very independent minded! This is not the first activity she has done this for. My eldest was in lockdown at the same age so I feel like I don't have any experience to fall back on. She starts school in September and I'm worried because a tendency to not join in would make school hard for her.

I agree, at 3 unless you’re really advanced, a hobby class won’t be for most children I’d think. Get her well into 4 (age) and may well be ready.

DNephew didn’t start Wing Chung Kungfu until 4 and he’s only recently started swimming and he’s 5 now. He’s also started French lessons which he loves but my stepdad learns French too so he copies him and listens to him.

At 3 youngest absolutely loved his music class, but would not participate in singing - just enjoyed listening to the teacher and "playing" instruments. He woukd however sing all the songs at home and in the car, and was happily going to the class each week. The teacher allowed him to take part on his terms (join in when he wanted, sit out and observe if he didn't). We had to stop swimming as he did not want to join at all at this age. Two years later he was happily participating in different classes, listening and following instructions - he just needed time to grow and mature.