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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do older women stay slimmer than men?

22 replies

PrincessOlga · 07/05/2024 13:42

Thought I would try to create a "feel good" thread on the eternal weight issue! Maybe it is just because the "male belly" is harder to hide and the flab we all carry goes to other places in women, but I do notice that women seem to be slimmer than men, proportionally, as decades increase. I have also noticed that it is almost all women who are out jogging (if men then they are the younger types who look as if they might be footballers or boxers).

Is it because women are dashing around doing more chores and hobbies, while men tend to sit and vegetate? Incidentally, a little bit of fat is sometimes even beneficial for your health as you age, plus slimming can be dangerous if you end up cutting out important nutrients and not having a balanced diet.

Feel free to add any psychological tips for keeping off weight. For example, a good way for me, because I am such a penny-pincher, is head first for the vegetable row in supermarkets and pick up any vegetables on discount. This gives me a super-warm feeling (yes, sad, I know) and then I work some meat around the vegetables. I also try to buy fruit to eat on the way home (I walk, so grapes or an apple is good) and some fruit to have as a dessert.

OP posts:
Buttalapasta · 07/05/2024 13:45

Funnily enough I was discussing this with my dh. We're in Italy and the men don't seem to get that belly. (Obviously many put on weight but not so obviously on the belly). So he reckons the answer is beer!

Comedycook · 07/05/2024 13:45

I don't think this is true at all.

I think wealth is the key issue.

I have heard that apparently

The fattest people in society tend to be wealthy men and poor women.

The thinnest in society are wealthy women and poor men.

A huge generalisation but I think there's an element of truth to it

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/05/2024 13:46

not a fact

SecondHandFurniture · 07/05/2024 13:51

Depends on the decades they grew up in sometimes. My mum is of the Jane Fonda exercise videos era and categorises all foods as slimming or fattening. She'll probably always be a small 10.

SocksAndTheCity · 07/05/2024 14:00

You think that starting another thread discussing the way other people look and suggesting ways to avoid gaining weight (because being fat is the worst fate that could befall a person) is helpful?

Why not start a thread with some suggestions for people with nothing else in their lives than noticing and criticising the appearance of others to occupy themselves and their minds in a constructive and worthwhile way?

PrincessOlga · 07/05/2024 14:06

Buttalapasta · 07/05/2024 13:45

Funnily enough I was discussing this with my dh. We're in Italy and the men don't seem to get that belly. (Obviously many put on weight but not so obviously on the belly). So he reckons the answer is beer!

I would say the answer is genetics. Italian men seem to have "waspish waists" and many of them are in good shape without working out at all. They are just made that way. Same for the French...

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 07/05/2024 14:09

It’s true in my circle to an extent. There’s probably also an element of staying a similar size to your contemporaries and generally taking care of yourself.

Men often stay slimmer when they are younger and struggle in middle age when that cheese and wine get harder to shift.

StoneTheCrone · 07/05/2024 14:13

Comedycook · 07/05/2024 13:45

I don't think this is true at all.

I think wealth is the key issue.

I have heard that apparently

The fattest people in society tend to be wealthy men and poor women.

The thinnest in society are wealthy women and poor men.

A huge generalisation but I think there's an element of truth to it

I think this is true but i also agree with the beer belly poster too.

JaceLancs · 07/05/2024 14:19

In my circle of friends ages 55-70, it seems to be that the majority of women care more about their looks and health so try and eat healthy and keep up exercise, this isn’t as much as the case with their partners, however there are a few keen cyclists (male) and those who do more physically active jobs so not all are overweight

PossiblyNow · 07/05/2024 14:20

Because patriarchal society still tells men they’re just fine as they are, unadorned — beergut, ear hair you could plait, gnarled toenails etc. Whereas women into old age are still often judged according to certain self-presentation requirements. You may not be judged as sexually appealing to the male gaze any more, but by god, you need to ‘make an effort’.

AlcoholSwab · 07/05/2024 14:25

Working class British women are usually not just overweight, but obese, well before men of the same social class in my experience.

Mumsnet is obviously skewed towards the wealthy, upper middle, London and Home Counties set but that is a small minority of the population.

SOBplus · 07/05/2024 14:27

Fat men die, so it seems there are more older skinny women than skinny men.

Soñando25 · 07/05/2024 14:29

PossiblyNow · 07/05/2024 14:20

Because patriarchal society still tells men they’re just fine as they are, unadorned — beergut, ear hair you could plait, gnarled toenails etc. Whereas women into old age are still often judged according to certain self-presentation requirements. You may not be judged as sexually appealing to the male gaze any more, but by god, you need to ‘make an effort’.

Yes, exactly this unfortunately.

missshilling · 07/05/2024 14:33

Patriarchal conditioning or not, I don’t think it’s true at all.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 07/05/2024 14:34

How is this a “feel good” thread ?

Soigneur · 07/05/2024 14:43

PrincessOlga · 07/05/2024 14:06

I would say the answer is genetics. Italian men seem to have "waspish waists" and many of them are in good shape without working out at all. They are just made that way. Same for the French...

Put them on the same diet and activity level as the average British middle-aged wok-smuggler and they'll end up looking the same.

They eat less, snack less, drink less, and walk more. An espresso contains fewer calories than a giant milky 'latte', a 125ml glass of wine contains fewer calories than a pint of beer, a small bowl of olives or a few slices of saucisson contains fewer calories than a can of Pringles. It all adds up.

whatisforteamum · 07/05/2024 14:47

Dh was chubby when I met him.
I had bouts of ED trying to stay v slim and it was something I could control.
Fast forward 35 yrs.
He is obese and had a major heart attack.
I'm a size 10/12.walk everywhere do weights.
I'm more concerned with health than he is.I want to be fit for as long as I can and see grandkids born.
He isn't so bothered.
I've seen family members struggle a lot with being overweight.

SocksAndTheCity · 07/05/2024 15:16

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 07/05/2024 14:34

How is this a “feel good” thread ?

It isn't. It's just a piss poor way to continue the now-full/closed thread where smug, judgemental twats look down their noses at people who (for whatever reason) weigh more than they have deemed acceptable, and discuss why those people should be hanging their heads in shame that they are offending their delicate eyes by having the nerve to exist.

As subterfuge goes, it's about a 2/10.

ApolloandDaphne · 07/05/2024 15:25

That's not true here. I am 61 and fat. I look after myself but find losing weight an enormous challenge. Dh on the other hand is tall and slim. He runs and seems to have a very fast metabolism. He eats constantly but never gains an ounce.

Trinity65 · 07/05/2024 16:49

AlcoholSwab · 07/05/2024 14:25

Working class British women are usually not just overweight, but obese, well before men of the same social class in my experience.

Mumsnet is obviously skewed towards the wealthy, upper middle, London and Home Counties set but that is a small minority of the population.

Usually!

Working Class Woman here
5ft 2
8 stone 6 pounds tyvm!!!

SlothsNeverGetIll · 07/05/2024 17:59

Social pressure/expectations. A chubby man might get away with being called "well built" or "stocky". He might convince himself he looks like Tony Soprano.
The same doesn't apply to women.

And women take better care of themselves generally, versus men.
Without my "encouragement"(!) my husband would choose a less healthy diet and lifestyle.

Pints! They give you such a beer belly. My husband can easily have 3 to my 1 glass of wine.

WhereAreWeNow · 07/05/2024 18:09

Patriarchy.
I care about being slim even though I know I shouldn't.
DH couldn't care less.

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