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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why these dc's don't walk

51 replies

2shoes · 02/04/2008 22:05

Ok I know I most likely am.
Nut I saw a pic of KK's to dd's in a mag they were with Brian and delta and the 6yr old was in a buggy. now as far as I know from what I have read she has no sn.....so?
also seems to be loads of celebs who are always carrying their small people.

so do you let yours walk or AIBU in thinking a 6year old with no sn should be able to walk,

OP posts:
Scramble · 02/04/2008 22:44

I think a lot of it is to do with feeling defensive when surrounded by photographers. Any sign of danger and they do the automatic thing and scoop them up I know I would.

I think that is the main reason.

madamez · 02/04/2008 22:45

Interesting reading. My DS is 3 and walks everywhere now (including some quite long hikes around parks and along my Avon round, for instance) - the last time I had him in the buggy was Bonfire Night when I took him to a display and thought it best and safest as we'd only just stopped using reins and I didn;t wnat to risk him running off in a large crowd of people in the dark.
However, I have been vaguely wondering about taking the buggy to Hastings for Jack In The Green this year - it's a festival with a long procession and not only might DS get tired (though he is a long-legged ball of energy most days) but the buggy would be so useful for dumping bags in when he doesn;t want to sit in it.
But then DS is so tall and talkative that people often think he's a lot older than he is, and I wonder if I would spend the whole weekend listening to people tut at that 'big boy still using a buggy...'

misdee · 02/04/2008 22:45

scramble, true. i think i would do as well.

CarGirl · 02/04/2008 22:48

I suppose it's whether you care what other people think? If we're out for the day and my 4 or 5 year old want a quick ride in the 3 wheeler I'll let them, and the 5 year old is the height of a 7 year old and is huge in it! I guess I just don't care what others think, my dc walk for miles without complaining and are fit and healthy and I'm very grateful for that and wouldn't assume big children in a pushchair were lazy - I'd probably think sympathetic thoughts for the person trying to push huge heavy child in pushchair though!

windygalestoday · 02/04/2008 22:50

car girl you might get madonna like muscley arms lol

CarGirl · 02/04/2008 22:51

I'm only little (and weak) and dd2 (the 5 yo) is already up to my armpit in height.......pushing her across fields is getting impossible, she's quite disappointed!

derah · 02/04/2008 23:47

My mum teaches reception and says a lot of the kids in her class have very poor co-ordination and don't really even know how to run around properly cos their mums push them everywhere in buggies. Whereas my DD1 (2.6) can walk a couple of miles quite happily (though slowly cos we have to stop all the time to look at/poke/pick up things) as we go for a good long walk with the dogs every day.

So I reckon YA probably NBU; there may be mitigating circumstances such as needing to escape from the paps in a hurry, but often children are sadly stuffed into buggies when they're perfectly capable of walking just because the parents don't have the patience to walk at toddler or young child pace.

piximon · 03/04/2008 00:08

I think YANBU. DS1 recently started school and having spoken to a few of the other mums they put their 3+ years olds in the buggy to save time/hassle of trying to get them to walk. My DD1 wasn't much of a walker but when DTs came along she had to adapt and did so very quickly.

Meanwhile I have DT1 (15mths) desperate to walk everywhere, she recently made the (usually) 25min walk from DS1s school to home, very slowly but surely. Many parents are just too pressed for time to do that.

Am trying to build her up as DC5 was due last week and not sure how long I'll manage with one in a sling, two in buggy and two hanging on either side .

chipmonkey · 03/04/2008 00:10

ds3 is 3 and has started refusing point-blank to sit in the buggy even when he's really tired and walking veeeeeeery slowly! Think it's because he has big brothers. He especially idolises ds1 who is 11 and tries to be like him!

cazzybabs · 03/04/2008 00:19

if i was a sleb i miught put my dc in a pushchair to escape from the press...quicker to run away with...also safer. Harder to steal

cory · 03/04/2008 08:19

I think there may be special circumstances for celebs. And for other people one may see out there. So it's always a good idea not to judge.

But in general, I think we can all agree that healthy children should walk as much as possible.

And healthy adults...

As I am fond of telling my dd's paed, what is a car if not a wheelchair for healthy adults?

My Mum (76) tells me that so many of the pensioners she knows are having problems with their legs giving, because they've been driving all their lives.

spokette · 03/04/2008 08:44

The OP is not BU because imo, medically fit school age children should not be wheeled around in prams.

We have just returned from Disneyland Paris with our 4yo DTS and resisted the urge to hire buggies. By day 4, both boys were really tired but we made them walk.

However, yesterday we went out shopping and I put them both in the pram because of time constraints. I plan to ditch the pram by the time they start school. However, I can still see me using it up until then.

The boys are very healthy, run round a lot and we go for long walks in woods/parks etc.

The problem I have is when both boys start complaining that they are tired and I am on my own, I cannot carry both of them hence why I take the pram as a backup. The pram is also good for carrying lots of shopping.

LyraSilvertongue · 03/04/2008 08:47

I disagree Spokette. I see no reason why tired children shouldn't be allowed a sit down from time to time.
We're going to Disney with our 5 and 3 year olds and we will be taking a buggy. They'll both walk the vast majority of the time but occasionally they'll want a sit down and I intend to let them. They're otherwise very fit and health, not at all overweight, so I can't see the harm.

spokette · 03/04/2008 09:03

Lyra, we felt that Disney was a safe environment to enforce the walking rule in order to help build up their muscles. When they were really tired, we sat and rested or carried them for a very short period. If we had gone for more than 4 days, we would have taken the pram or hired a buggy.

bozza · 03/04/2008 09:12

I think YANBU. Of course there will always be people with mitigating circumstances, but there will also be people who use the pushchair unnecessarily. When DD managed two long days at Legoland without a pushchair days after her third birthday I decided we didn't need a pushchair anymore and gave it to my neighbour who's DH had run over her pushchair (folded on the ground behind the car before any of you start worrying about the toddler!).

I did have quite a few trying shopping expeditions with her but now she is quite good. It is DS who goes into a dream and wanders in front of people.

suey2 · 03/04/2008 09:26

interesting. I have just come back from seville where most children seemed to be pushed around in buggies day and night - certainly those up to about 8 years- i don't think i saw a single child who didn't have their own.
DH and I discussed whether this may be how they deal with the late hours culture- in the evenings we were sitting outside cafes and the kids were running around or totally crashed out in their buggies in seriously dodgy positions. It was quite extraordinary.

Chequers · 03/04/2008 09:59

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Chequers · 03/04/2008 09:59

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kama · 03/04/2008 10:10

This reply has been deleted

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LyraSilvertongue · 03/04/2008 10:13

I do know a couple of children who looked years older when they were three. They would have looked odd in a buggy.
There was a little boy at DS1's nursery who was very fat and was wheeled around in a buggy at all times. His parents seemed to be forever plying him with crips and cake too. Poor kid.

blueshoes · 03/04/2008 11:00

2 shoes, some children are happy to walk from 2, others like my dd 4.6 still insist on a buggy/being carried. God knows what she will be like at 6.

She is the most agile nimble thing and runs around, does somersaults, crazy dancing when she wants to ... but she will not walk when out with us, though she is getting better, but has clingy moods every so often.

No one's business really. My dd is ready when she is ready. There will be areas where your dcs lag behind as well - I presume you would not like strangers making judgments about what they should or should not be doing either.

ReallyTired · 03/04/2008 12:25

blueshoes,

What do you think of this link?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7311865.stm

My son lagged behind in walking and his physical skills at 6 years old are nowhere near as good as your daugher. In fact my son was under a child physio for 18 months and has only recently been discharged from the child development centre.

Yet he was completely free of his buggy at 4 years 3 months. It was hellish hard work and there were a few times that I had to carry him, but he has built up stamina.

Being a good parent sometimes means getting off your arse and not taking the easy way out. If a healthy 4.6 year old refuses to walk then they should be punished for disobidience.

blueshoes · 03/04/2008 12:34

ReallyTired, oh my. We are so different in parenting philosophies that the Twain shall never Meet.

In the first place, I don't tend to use the words 'spoilt', 'punish' or 'disobedience' in relation to children. Needless to say, I totally disagree with the article and your post, particularly your last sentence.

We will have to agree to disagree.

Staceym21AtLast · 03/04/2008 12:45

derah would just like to add running doesnt necisarily (ok i cant spell today ignor that!) have anything to do with walking.

dd was in a buggy until 3 yo she had started walking at 18/19 mo but wasnt very confident. So needed the buggy for very long/difficult walks. As i didnt drive and had ds in a buggy a double on hand was the best option.

I sold the double just before xmas, dd now has to walk, everywhere. Now i can drive yes so if in a rush we drive but still 2-3 times a week we do a 4mile round trip to town/pre-school and she walks.

she however cannot run, we dont have a garden and she isn't confident enough to practice running outside of her safety zone (home) so the two dont nesicerily (see a different spelling im doing well) match up!

but as for a 6yo without sn in a buggy i dont get it, no reason as far as i can see really.

blueshoes · 03/04/2008 12:46

BTW, I meant I disagree with the article in that it has nothing to do with the situation I describe.

My dd is only 4.7 but her behaviour in nursery and school has been examplary. I have been to 2 PTA meetings that the teachers have nothing but praise for her.

Reallytired, you are assuming that just because I don't force her to walk I don't teach her how to behave to or ever say 'no' to her.

That is one heck of an assumption to make - a bit Daily Mail, I'm afraid.