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Original poster

To have pointed out to super enthusiast vegan where pearls come from?

3 replies

listsandbudgets · 06/05/2024 20:58

I went out with some friends today and one of them bought a friend of hers we'd not met before. She would not let up with the vegan stuff - kept lecturing us about where our meat came from, how cows were tortured to make our cheese, how hens were mistreated to lay our eggs etc. etc. it was embarrassing - our poor friend who'd bought her along was obviously mortified. She said later that she knew they were vegan but had never heard them talking like that before.

Finally I'd had enough and asked her about her necklace saying it was beautiful and were the pearls real... she confirmed they were and I said "Oh that really surprises me that a vegan would wear something from a living creature round her neck"

Astonishingly she didn't know where pearls came from and believe me we took some pleasure telling her how oysters were cut open and the pearls were taken from their bodies....

We all ate our ice cream in peace Grin

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MNHQ

HopeMumsnet · 07/05/2024 07:31

Hi all,
Thank you to the very few who reported their concerns about this thread to MNHQ as per our guidelines. In fact, the OP has been with us for more than a decade with an excellent track record so we are inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt here.

The thread itself is an object lesson in why we at MNHQ loathe trollhunting so much. One MNer begins the troll hunt and then others, in an effort to prove publicly how they too weren't "taken in", join them in their snarky commentary and soon the whole thread is a distressing and personal derail that destroys the thread and becomes a highly upsetting pile-on for the OP.

We will be suspending some posters for a week and we sincerely recommend that in order to protect ongoing posting privileges the rest of the trollhunters take our warning seriously.

If you find yourselves about to post 'things that didn't happen' or similar - please don't. Report the post that concerns you to MNHQ and we will take it from there.

We want this place to be fun and supportive for everyone, and we do our very best to keep it so, but we simply cannot do it without your assistance. Thanks, and those guidelines again for those who need a little refresh!

Mumsnet's Talk Guidelines | Mumsnet

A guide to using Mumsnet's discussion boards (Talk), including netiquette, rules of use and how to stay on the right side of the moderating team!

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/netiquette

MNHQ

HopeMumsnet · 07/05/2024 08:30

Did you mean to sound so rude @WildOutThere?😆😚

A fair bit of thought, tbh. We have quite a lot to look at, the threads a person has posted over more than ten years, their interactions with us, their interactions with fellow MNers, as well as some other stuff that we could tell you but we'd obviously have to kill you... 😎. Also, we do talk it over in the office, for a sense check with our fellow mods.

One thing we know for certain is that we're in no position to decide what's what on the likelihood of a story. The truth truly is stranger than fiction a lot of the time and we have seen many an "obvious troll" turn out to be a real and suffering person at the end of the day, especially if they've been on the receiving end of a vicious pile-on.

So, best avoided. If you see a thread or poster that concerns you, and you think they're talking nonsense (and some are, no doubt!) simply report the post and hide the thread. It won't benefit from negative accusations (as you can see from this particular spiral) but it will benefit from MNHQ taking a wider view.

We just want this place to be fun, engaging, entertaining, supportive; you know what it's like when Mumsnet is at it's best - there's simply nowhere better! We're all proud to work here and admire our users so much, with your enormous brains and hearts. All we ask is that everyone behaves in accordance with our guidelines to make the community run as smoothly as possible.

Nice chatting to you, now sadly it's back to the hundreds of reports that have built up while dealing with this thread. Apologies in advance to those who are waiting for a response, we're a bit flat out right now. Cheers, all!

MNHQ

BeckyAMumsnet · 07/05/2024 12:28

WildOutThere · 07/05/2024 09:01

Thanks for responding. No, I wasn’t trying to be rude, just trying to understand.

So a long term poster can post something completely unbelievable and will be given the benefit of the doubt, even if loads of other posters say it’s unlikely?

That’s an interesting way to approach moderating. Good to know and it certainly explains a lot.

Thanks again for responding.

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Hi @WildOutThere , not at all. As Hope said, membership length is just one thing we look at. We’ll also consider the type of posting, how they interact with MNHQ/other MNers, and many other factors we can’t talk about. This is pretty standard with online forums.

You could be on the site for 15 years, but if you’re posting on Monday about your alpaca farm when the week prior you had an AIBU about your fatal allergy to camelids, we’ll probably ban your account until you can sufficiently explain the discrepancy.

What is or isn't deemed believable is, we find in our many years of doing this, largely subjective, and, as moderators, we are working with what we have to make as informed a decision as possible. But all of this comes back to not allowing troll hunting as it's derailing and destructive. We understand that some posters have good intentions in 'warning' others, but when you troll hunt, actual trolls love it, but genuine posters are driven away.

If you have specific questions, please drop us a line as we'd prefer this thread to get back on track now. Thanks.

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