To not overly understand the idea of a ‘babymoon’

[Firsttimemama98]

We’ve had friends and family tell us we should definitely do one last sunshine holiday before baby.

I just can’t see how it would be a relaxing experience. I would be anxious (country dependent) on if I needed any care relating to pregnancy whilst over there, I wouldn’t be able to drink nor eat things I’d usually like on holiday plus it’s a huge chunk of a few thousand pounds that we could use to buy me more time off work for maternity leave - or better, put towards baby’s first holiday. I am under no illusion that holidays aren’t very different with a baby, I’m sure they are, especially as they get mobile!

AIBU - did you have a babymoon and are you glad you did?

It’s just a holiday but it’s got a twee name for marketing purposes. Whether one suits you depends on a lot of things, how you’re enjoying pregnancy, what you’d like to do as a holiday and how much support you’ll have after.

We don’t have any family nearby so child free nights are few and far between. Now I wish we’d gone away to have a few days but only because I desperately want that time now. At the time, I was nauseous and really fatigued until about 20 weeks and then had gestational diabetes from 24 weeks so had to manage my diet very carefully. I wouldn’t have wanted to go somewhere hot because I was a lot hotter than normal anyway and uncomfortable with that. I started with PGP about 27 weeks and wouldn’t have wanted to go somewhere with lots of exploring. So where we would have ended up wouldn’t necessarily been where we’d have chosen if I hadn’t been pregnant. At the time I’m not sure I’d have actually enjoyed it.

If you have family close by that are willing to help then you’ll probably have childfree evenings and weekends getting on for about 9 months to a year. Most of my friends with local support have had nights away for concerts or anniversaries and grandparents have had their kids. As it is, I’m planning something for our joint 40th when DC will be 8, they can go stay with grandparents for a week as old enough to understand it and we’re going to an adults only place.

Glad you said that - I thought I was going mad! It used to get used on here in relation to establishing breastfeeding - take to your bed with the baby and just sleep, relax and feed.

Yeah, I don’t get it either. I mean, if you’re particularly ill or in pain, it won’t be much fun. But for the average pregnancy, going away before life changes is a great idea. There aren’t many foods you can’t eat and I don’t think most would struggle to avoid alcohol. I never used the term ‘babymoon’ but did go away before our first was due and it was great!

Yes. I didn’t actually go on holiday, but I was commuting shorthaul internationally weekly until I was 36 weeks and couldn’t fly. I don’t remember pregnancy changing much about my life, other than a supercharged sense of smell.

Independent mum by choice - I just went on a little trip to the seaside (break in lockdowns- knew I’d have to shield later in pregnancy). Didn’t spend much but had a glorious time wobbling about with my bump.

I always travelled independently and knew that having a little one would be a big change to that . I loved having a few days to enjoy my independence, just be in my own body, be purely selfish with my time and interests.

I say to all mums to be they should take that time WITHOUT their partner to just be in their own space and body