To not want DS(3) to play with the garden hose?

[Theonesatthefront]

Reasons are that firstly, massive waste of water.

Second. We’re all stuck inside while DS runs amok with hose.

Third, can’t open the door as he sprays the water inside (made a horrendous mess this morning and soaked everyone’s shoes)

Fourth, gets drenched himself meaning more washing clothing changes etc.

So IMO all good reasons. DH does not agree. I’m wondering who is BU. I will take it if you all think I’m just a miserable killjoy.

Why can’t you just strip off and use a towel poncho when inside?

Who, him or me?

There are other reasons as I outlined in my OP. To be honest I don’t want the faff of multiple clothing changes a day, every day (no, children don’t go in paddling pools in their clothes generally in my world!)

Could you tell him it's Daddy's hose so he can only play with it when Daddy's outside with him? Then Daddy can sort out the clothes as well.

Mine are obsessed with water balloons.

it’s a pain in the arse but sometimes you need to just get on with such pain in the arse things.

It can also be dangerous as water sitting in the hose can get really hot. I wouldn’t let him play with it as it’s a pain in the arse soaking everyone for the sake of a child getting their way.

I think multiple changes a day due to soaking self with hose in April is way beyond “Normal fun relaxed water play”. Reasonable to cut back (or insist on swimwear) if it is a multiple times a day activity!

Why does it have to be multiple times a day. Surely you implement boundaries around when it's ok to play with water and when it's not.

Also it really is totally normal for small children to play in water and paddling pools in shorts and tshirts so no need to get him changed just let him get wet, take him inside when it's time to go in and then get him changed. Leave the clothes he wore outside to dry. There's no need to wash them he can wear them again once dry unless they are dirty.

My ds lose nothing more than getting soaked with the hose on the trampoline.

It's a bit of fun, clothes can be dried after, live a little.

How do you dry them?

Tumble dryer.

Everyone has an activity that they hate doing with their kids, where the stress for you outweighs the enjoyment for the kids. I hate baking with my DC. I wouldn’t be happy with hose play - it’s a huge waste of water and if the hose has been sat out in hot weather can be dangerous. We do water ply with a watering can as it’s not wasting as much water, it’s once a day (max) and the change of clothes doesn’t bother me. So option 1 is to say no to the hose and watering can, once a day only. Or option 2 is that it’s a daddy only activity. I don’t bake, DH does that with DC. He deals with clean up.

Hard no on using the garden hose for DS4. It’s hugely wasteful just spraying everywhere. He has loads of outdoor water toys I am happy for him to play with, but I fill them up, that’s a none negotiable.

You have a DH problem.

If he's sending 3 yo DS out alone numerous times a day to play with the hose in what you've said is freezing cold water in slippy and dangerous conditions, then refusing to change him into dry clothes and chuck the clothes in with a load of laundry, he's a pretty shit Dad and partner

My nearly three year old plays with the hose all the time. The rules are we turn it off if he sprays us, the dog, or the door. He gets soaked but I don't mind that. If a two year old can have good control then your three year old certainly can. And then everyone is happy.

Then I can see that soggy wet clothes and a tumble drier may not mix, do you have to spin them first to get the worst of the wet out?

Maybe you could make an exception for these clothes and line dry them once the hose play is finished?

I get where you are coming from, it annoyed me, but DS and DH did have a lot of fun together playing either with the hose or those super soaker water guns, so I put up with it. They both took off their wet clothes outside and wrapped themselves in towels before they came in. DH pegged up both of their wet clothes before he came in.

You’re quite clearly overly het up about the situation. It’s really not a hard one. You are a parent. So you can just say no. But you’re all overly emotional and over the top about it. Just calm down. Seriously. None of what you describe is a big deal and you’ve gone all ‘victim’ for no reason whatsoever. Chill out.

No ones said he’s refusing. The issue is that DS is whining on about the hose every time we walk past it - which is multiple times a day as cars are on the drive by it!

When DH is here he sends him out with it. I hate it for reasons explained. And it does create a fuck load of washing I could do without as DS is a bit crap (pardon the pun) at toilet training. So then I get constant whingeing about the hose and it’s doing my head in. However, DS is not outside freezing in slippery conditions. As much as DH is annoying me over this I do have to defend him there.

No, I’m really not @Youcannotbeseriousreally . You just don’t like the fact I pointed out swearing at people is bloody rude and it is.

Poll is pretty much split so arrghh.

Your trouble is you’ve come onto AIBU and you’re too precious , I was ‘ffs’ At the ridiculousness of not wanting to say no to a 3 year old, not to you personally. But of course , take everything personally and take offence where there was none!

Look, you can think someone is precious if you want to. I stand by the fact ‘for fucks sake’ for a fairly simple question is bloody rude and I’m not going to change my view on it. It’s pointless harping on about it.

Reasons are that

firstly, massive waste of water

• agreed! Children can play with water so much less wastefully

Second. We’re all stuck inside while DS runs amok with hose
And your DH is happy with everyone being stuck inside?? I'm with you! Do DH and DS know they can't make everyone else just wait while DS has his fun. ........... regardless of anyone else

Third, can’t open the door as he sprays the water inside (made a horrendous mess this morning and soaked everyone’s shoes)
Absolutely a NO! Does DS know he hasn't got the right to just inconvenience everyone else just so he can have fun and be happy

Fourth, gets drenched himself meaning more washing clothing changes etc.
So, let your DH deal with it if he says DS' behavour is ok

Why are you expecting to deal with the consequences alone ??

DS is 3. He's always going try and do everything he wants to do ...... whenever he wants to do it .... without thinking of anyone else.

You don't want him to. You're parenting responsibly.

So, just let DH parent the way he wants to ....... but don't allow him to expect you to pick up the slack and sort out the resulting mess

Let DH deal with the consequences of what he's decided is ok, while you go and carry on with your life / catch up on tv / have a glass of wine / go out with friends / just chill

You do sound like a miserable kill joy tbh, weird that you're bothered about the waste of water but not the waste in electric using a tumble dryer on a hot day!

If it keeps your Ds happy and occupied that sounds like a winning situation, I'd let him crack on.

When DH is here he sends him out with it.
So DH isn't even playing with him?........ he's just trying to give DS something to do to get him out of the way .... ?

So let your husband supervise him and stay indoors with door locked

@ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife

Mine are obsessed with water balloons.
it’s a pain in the arse but sometimes you need to just get on with such pain in the arse things.

Not sure how you've totally missed the point of OP post