I didn't respect my elders

[HelloDenise]

I'm in the park this morning before meeting friends for lunch. I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench occupied by an old guy at the other end and in the middle a load of coat and bags. He told me "excuse me that's my wife's seat" (she had gone to get drinks). I told him he could move the coats when she came back. He did and there would have been room for another person as well as his missus.

They just didn't want to share the bench and muttered when they left about respect for your elders.

This has nothing to do with respecting elders, had his wife and grandchildren gone to buy drinks then I'd have moved owing to the fact they'd need the room.

But whether it's, coats, bags, small suitcases or back packs neither one mentioned needs a seat on a park bench, train/bus seat or a seat in an airport departure lounge.

Ok but I have to ask why you're still thinking about this non event now? 🤷‍♂️

You met a mildly annoying twat. The world is full of them.

Regardless of who he/they were if someone told me they were saving a seat (essentially) while someone else was in the loo/in a queue then I would have just moved because they had prior claim. I'm not saying it's the same as people reserving sun loungers with towels hours in advance, or any of that nonsense, just that they were sat there before and were only temporarily absent. I would have just moved to another bench to be honest.

I'm more interested in why you were meeting friends for lunch but buying an ice cream beforehand - late breakfast?!

I just fancied ice cream and it's a late lunch.

If the bench was smaller maybe I'd think like you but it would seat 4 people. I wasn't prepared to stand while someone's coat had a seat.

Maybe he thought your tone was pissy?
But his comment was silly - people don't deserve either respect or disrespect based on their age.

Yes @daliesque that certainly crossed my mind.

Still, next week MN might be back to moaning about dogs again, or rehashing the age old breastfeeding/formula feeding debate.

It's not an 'elder' problem. Try getting a bus any day of the week and there'll invariably be someone of any age with headphones in and a bag dumped on the seat beside them.

YABU to sit on an already occupied bench, I'd be pissy too if a random stranger came & sat right near me.

But then, I'd rather stand on public transport than sit next to a stranger, not everyone in the world likes the close proximity of other people & there's nothing wrong with that.

Unfortunately that's the risk one runs taking public transport. The seats are designed for two people, not one person and their thoughts while others stand down the back.

YABU to sit on an already occupied bench, I'd be pissy too if a random stranger came & sat right near me.

Ah well, I'd think YABU if you thought you and one other person were entitled to a whole 4 seater bench. That's room for a couple with their baggage buffering you, it's not like the op wanted to squish right up next to them.

Fair enough re. ice cream.

I don't think it's the same as someone on a train who just puts their crap on spare seats as you wouldn't know how much space the two of them took up on the bench before you arrived... one of them could be a bit larger, or just need more space for another reason. I don't think the size of the bench would change my mind, I would just find another place to sit. It's no big deal after all.

And that is why, if you'd bothered to read my post properly you'd notice I said I would choose to stand if need be.

And don't worry @ErrolTheDragon I would move if anyone sat near me, so the CF could have the whole bench to themselves.

Just because someone is old does not make them right.
The world as gone mad honestly it has.
Old people can never be wrong but cant call them old not even at 70-80 because its ageism. Sorry but your old.

Dont get me started with the gentle parenting ffs raise your kids stop faffing about with feelings if you dont raise your kids and let them know they cant always have it their way and your the parent not the friend they gonna turn in to entitled selfish people that think everything is abuse when they are older.

Oh not to mention older mums who wants babies at near on 50 when you have grown up kids already.
The world has gone mad.

I’m similar.
Wouldn’t mind it on public transport, but if I sat on a park bench with my husband/ friend I wouldn’t be so keen on a stranger sitting down right next to us.
In the same way, I wouldn’t plonk myself down next to a stranger either.
Public transport is different in my opinion, but in a park I would look for an empty bench or just stroll with my ice cream.

Do you think today’s 70/80 year olds were gently parented as kids?

I'm more interested in why you were meeting friends for lunch but buying an ice cream beforehand - late breakfast?!

Adulthood. You can do (to a limit) whatever and whenever. Brekkie icecream? Cornflakea for dinner? World is your oyster.

Well yeah, I was being a bit tongue in cheek because she was on her way to meet people for lunch so seemed an odd time to purchase food is all. Nothing to do with being allowed to do it, she can do what she likes!

Pre-dessert 😁

I wouldn’t have sat there. I hate it when strangers cram on a bench. I’d just have got up and walked away.

Benches are not big enough to fit 4 people on if you don’t know them all. Too close for comfort.

Were there any empty benches around?

If not, YANBU.

It was a 4 seater bench and you sat at the opposite end. There was still plenty of space for him and his wife from the read of things. It’s a public bench, not seating at a restaurant.

Anything else you want to get off your chest? 😂

This^

Unless I really needed the seat I wouldn't have taken it and accepted that it was already occupied and looked for another. It's not about age it's about privacy and personal space. For all you know they were in the middle of a difficult conversation, immuno compromised or highly anxious. I think you come off slightly entitled tbh.

If you'd come and sat on the end of a bench I was sitting at I'd immediately feel like I needed to move.

I’m off the thinking that a bench if for the sole purpose of a family/friendship group. Not for sharing with strangers.

So I wouldn’t have even sat down

Yeah let's all avoid the bench and no one can take a seat just so you can have the full bench to yourself.

It's either a right squeeze sitting next to you on a bench, or you're entitled.