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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fairness between household income and household mental load

1 reply

Kbe123 · 05/05/2024 21:40

My DH and i are have been married for 16 years. We have teenage kids.

Possibly hormonal and menopausal or possibly just exhausted from carrying the burden of working full time and mental load of running the household on my own.

DH has always been the high earner and has advanced in his career while i have worked full time but not been able to advance due to putting the kids before promotions etc. Our household income contribution is split him 65% and me 35%. However the mental load of running the household and the kids has always been 100% on me. When he's home he doesn't support me at all. He's got used to it. Doesn't lift a finger. He lost his dad last year. He now spends about 10 hours a week supporting his mum. AIBU to feel angry that when i needed help I was told he was too busy but now his mum needs him he can magically free up time for her? Ive calculated that I spend in the region of 40 hours a week on running the house and kids.

We are lucky to have disposable income. We have great holidays etc. He feels thats all down to him contributing 65% of our income. I contribute 35% of our income and 40 hours a week on running our house and kids. I could have been earning significantly more had he contributed to helping at home.

AIBU to demand that if he has 10 hours free then he should be helping me at home during that time?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 05/05/2024 21:45

Two very separate point

His mum just lost her husband. He’d be an absolute twunt not to help her through this.

I always tell my high earning hubby that he couldn’t do what he does if I didn’t do what I do. Make sure your contribution to his career and earning power is recognised.

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