For feeling like a fraud?

[WingingItSince1973]

So sorry this is in AIBU. Just had a call today that my dad who I haven't had much contact with is dying. I've been sat in the hospital with him today and his side of the family so my aunty, uncles and a few cousins. I'm his only child. He's been poorly for a while but it's all come to a head now and he only has hours left. He's asleep and comfortable. I'm in contact with cousins over Facebook but my dad hasn't been in my life since I was 3 years old. Obviously over the years I've seen him when I have been to stay with family on that side of the family and for other things like funerals. We've never been close. He's only half an hour drive from me and has never made any effort to see me on his own back. I had an awful childhood with step dads etc. My dad knew about my abuse etc but never stepped in. When I was 14 I ran away from home to live with him and his girlfriend but got sent home after a week. Now he's dying. I've tried to contact him over the last year but he never replies. I just think my family must look at me think I'm a fraud for being by his bedside. I have a fantastic step dad who has been in my life since I was a teen and I would be absolutely distraught if anything happened to him. With my bio dad I'm numb. There's so much I would have loved to know about him. He's been a heavy drinker all his life and quite an angry man but I still would have liked him to make the effort with his only child and now his grandchildren. I don't know why I'm writing this. It just feels so so weird that part of my life I didn't really know about is ending. Does that make sense. And will the family see me as a hanger on? My cousins and aunty and uncles live close to him and see him regularly. They probably wonder why I haven't made the effort. Sorry if sound selfish I'm just trying to process things.

If I was your aunty I’d make sure you got every penny left in his estate. This is legally and morally the right thing to do.

Well she's said that my dad wants her and my other uncle to have his money and to treat myself and 3 others after. Not sure what treat means! I'm feeling a bit bitter and I don't like this about me. But there is no will and nothing in writing to appoint anyone to do anything. Obviously my first thought was for my aunty to do anything she wants as she did care for him and my other uncle saw him daily. But then a part of me is thinking he didn't bother with me all these years. He lived 30 mins drive from me at most. Maybe 20 mins. He never reached out to me when my brother was killed (not his son) or when any other crisis happened in my life or just in general. He was tied up with his partner and her family. But she sadly passed away many years ago. Do I challenge my aunty or do I do the kind thing and walk away from it all? X

@WingingItSince1973 Your aunty may be unaware that she isn’t legally entitled to anything. Despite what your dad said verbally. The rules of intestacy apply.
If your dad didn’t marry or have any other children, I believe you are the sole beneficiary.

Im not sure how you could challenge your aunty, if you want to remain on good terms. Or even if your dad had enough assets for it to be financially worth doing anything. Did he own his own property or have a decent income for example?

There is a “Legal Matters” forum on here. Perhaps make a new post, asking for input. There are a couple of lawyers on there that are very good at providing level headed advice.

Legally your Aunt cant do anything. If you don't want any involvement at all you could write a lettger giving her authority to act of your behalf but as I am not a lawyer I dont know if that would be enough.
The question is giving the circumstances do you want to be involved? If so you have every right to, including organising the funeral etc but do you want to have to fight the rest of his family?

Thanks for all your support. I have moved my legal questions over to the legal board and they have been very helpful xxx