What little things help you get through life?

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

I have depression and due to work stress, I'm not feeling my best self at the moment. I don't have a good support system. I have a few fairweather friends.

I'm finding life really hard at the moment and each day I wake up I feel disappointed I haven't died in the night.

Life seems to consist of me crying, going to work, crying there and going to bed.

I don't like where I live, which I know only I can change. My neighbours are arseholes.

Is there anything you do to make life a bit more fulfilling? Just little things.

Walk in nature (sounds cliché but my nervous systems settles quickly)

Allow yourself to retreat for a bit. The evolutionary purpose of depression is to make us withdraw and take stock (not ruminate).

Little things like make my bed, get dressed even if I'm not going anywhere, go somewhere new that demands my focus rather than operating on autopilot. Even a different supermarket or library than usual.

Self compassion and rest.

Distraction (limited to 2 hours) on Netflix.

Sending strength.

What are you passionate about (or what have you been passionate about in the past)?

Find something aligned with a passion or value and do it. Keep showing up for it.

You need to care for yourself (if no one else is doing it). Things I have done - cooked fresh comfort food like soups and stews, booked a reflexology or massage appointment. Painted my nails, listened to a good audio book.

Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life. Talking helps. I would speak to your doctor too, if you are on medication for your depression, it needs adjustment, if not, then consider asking about it.

I walk outdoors to counteract the feeling low parts of my life. This month doing "a mile a day in May" for dementia uk. I put on the t shirt, walk round our local park at the same time each day and have amassed a little band of "cheerleaders " - mostly older folks with dogs, but their positive words of encouragement really lift my spirits. I'm not gathering sponsors (no social media presence), just donating a few quid myself, but the exercise, and the kind words are helping my mental health immensely.

I'm a very simple soul. My dog and the birds in my garden are a great source of calm for me. I sit and watch them for ages and they really make me feel peaceful. I'm finding I have to fill my hours with different things these days - DS is 20 and works and DD studying for A levels and will probably be leaving for University in the Autumn (which I'm dreading), so I am finding more 'me' things to do.

I often bake and take the results into work with me - that gives me a boost.
Read
Walks
Cross-stitch
Look after my skin and nails

Little, inexpensive things that make me happy.

Definitely get dressed and go for a walk. Notice birds and noises, it’s grounding and calming.

ring Samaritans, they are there for people just like you! They are great.

paint your nails, bubble bath.

tell someone in real life how you are feeling, this really will help

Good luck op and hope you feel better soon. Remember people go through shit periods in their lives it’s normal, but you will be happy again xxx

My running club.
A wonderful group of people and being outdoors. Because it's scheduled you don't have to think either.

Make an effort to get another job asap even if it's a job you would normally never do just to get out of the one you have got . We spend the majority of our time at work and you should not be feeling like this over a job it's toxic if you're taking it honestly with you. If you're still thinking about work then you are still at work .

Walking in nature, I did six miles round a nature reserve yesterday that a major river runs through.

I then shot other players online playing Battlefield 1.

Good morning OP

First of all, I’m really sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I get it. Life is hard and some days are just really tough. These are some small things which have helped me in the past week.

• Buy yourself something nice/ bit different for breakfast (or lunch/dinner)

I bought a nice loaf of bread, not the cheap sliced stuff, a pack of good butter with sea salt crystals and my favorite jam. I have looked forward to this breakfast each day to try and lessen the heaviness I feel when waking and makes a welcome change from the daily own brand muesli I have month in month out.

• Treat yourself to a small purchase.

I bought a book yesterday and looking forward to reading a chapter each night before bed. It could be anything , a candle, some chocolate, Knick knacks from a charity shop.

• Get out for a walk no matter how short.

This is something I’ve been trying recently. Enjoying the neighbours gardens, spring flowers and exploring a new path.

Could you perhaps look at getting another job if it’s making you so unhappy.
? Sorry to hear your neighbours are arseholes, I have also been there. Good luck op. 💐

Strawberry Lindt Dor chocolates😍😋😋😋

Get a bicycle. Any old thing and a pair of shorts to protect your bum. I wear them under working trousers as I don't want to be seen as one of those men.
Cycle into the country...not far to start.. You will see things that gladden your heart...this week swallows, a lamb sat next to a preening goose, swans building a nest, a gang of ducks making an dreadful noise, a toddler in a scooter rolling downhill with mum running like is in this year's Olympics.

You will get an endorphin rush, you will feel a sense of achievement as you explore more and more. Plus you can carry a picnic, I even carry a stove and kettle in the winter.
It's the closest to flying that a human will ever achieve

Nature, sunshine, listening to the birds.

Walking in nature
Borrowing neighbour’s dogs
Good body care - nice shower gel/oil and body lotion.

Reading
Looking at old photos

Go for a potter round areas you might like to move to. See if there is anything affordable to you. Are you renting or selling?

Ooh that sounds tough, OP. It's awful having nasty neighbours and all you can realistically do sometimes is to keep your head down and avoid them as much as possible.

I love nature, especially birds, but I don't know if you can access any nice outdoor areas where you live?? Would it be possible to have a bird feeder so you can watch them - I could do that all day if I had nothing else to do!

I also enjoy listening to music and reading, which are things you can do in your own space. I enjoy trying to create the perfect cast of actors for any book I've read - it's like a game and it might take some time to get it right to your satisfaction!

Something I enjoy is keeping scrapbooks of news events and things I've done. I was inspired by a lecture about scrapbooks kept by a schoolgirl during the war in which she combined a sort of personal diary with recording events in the wider world and stuck in all sorts of leaflets, adverts, pictures, newspaper cuttings, pressed flowers, drawings etc. It's fascinating to look back on and you can actually make the scrapbook as attractive as you like. It might sound childish, but you're making a record for posterity!

On a more ambitious level - could you start a blog on some topic of interest to you? The quality of blogs varies enormously, so don't feel it has to be a masterpiece. Just walks you've been on, places you've visited, thoughts and interests you have etc. A friend writes about interesting historical London pubs, for eg, and I do one on the local waterfowl on a nearby lake, which sounds crazy but I've had a lot of positive feedback!!! I think for a basic blog you can find info online about starting and it becomes really absorbing and takes you to another place. And you'll get others interested too.

Good luck, OP, and I really hope things get better for you soon. Of course, there's TV and other media - loads of good things available to take you somewhere else for a while.

Just bumping this thread!

Subscribe to a magazine (or two) I love. Subscriptions are soooo cheap vs the cover price, you'd be amazed. Like £20 a year for something that's otherwise £3-4 an issue. It's such a lovely treat when they arrive each month and I sit in bed and read them with a cup of tea.

Find interesting local walks in my area. There are always local history/nature societies that put walks online or in leaflets and walking around discovering interesting things about your area, be it city, suburb or country, and seeing things you'd never even noticed before, is very enriching plus it gets you out the house.

Commit to learning a bit about birds and plants. I was on a walk once with people who could identify every plant and tree in the hedgerows and every bird we heard and it made me realise how little I knew about the world around me. It's fun to go out even into a park and learn about things.

Browse in a really good bookshop.

Cross stitch (as someone else has suggested - it really is very therapeutic as it's a sort of meditative concentration) with a great audiobook. You can find things like Agatha Christie audiobooks uploaded for free onto YouTube.

some really fantastic ideas on this thread for when everything gets a bit too much
🙏✨

The gym!

When I was depressed if someone had suggested the gym, I would have rolled my eyes and thought they knew nothing of how being depressed makes exercise feel impossible.

But I've been consistently weight training in the gym for 5/6 months now and love the happy buzz I get from a great workout. It gives me something else to focus on, which I really needed as depression keeps you locked in your negative thoughts.

Wishing you all the best, you've got this!

Another thing, OP - although it's usually frowned on to 'live in a bubble', in your situation where you feel so vulnerable and say you have little support from friends and family, please don't feel guilty about creating a nice, safe bubble for yourself.

I could see myself doing this - listening to lovely music, watching TV etc about art, history and things that interest me. Making my personal space as nice as I can and sod everybody else! There's nothing wrong with that in the short term when you are feeling vulnerable, and especially if you have horrible neighbours who make you feel insecure. Could you sew something - a cushion cover, simple curtains etc or do another creative project which calms you and will improve your home? Are you any good at painting - could you create greetings cards for friends?

But in the long term, you also need to try and get out to do something which you love and where you'll meet other people who enrich your life. I see that you work, but does that leave time for a bit of volunteering? My friend is involved with the Cinnamon Trust (a charity which provides help with pets for people who are too ill or infirm to walk their dogs etc). If you like animals, you could apply to them and get involved in walking someone's dog, or looking after someone's cat. You also get involved with the people as well. Go online and look for something you would like to join or attend - there's bound to be something.

Is there a nice small local church (or whatever faith you follow if indeed you do)? I am seeing people increasingly isolated as they no longer have a community which is exactly what places of worship provide. Anyway, it’s an idea if that appeals to you.

ChinaBlueBell · Today 16:15
Is there a nice small local church (or whatever faith you follow if indeed you do)? I am seeing people increasingly isolated as they no longer have a community which is exactly what places of worship provide. Anyway, it’s an idea if that appeals to you.

You know, I think there's a niche for a kind of 'secular church' for people who don't have religious faith to go to regularly. For those who do have faith, going to church gives you so much: a ready-made social circle, clubs and activities, support when you need it, the chance to enjoy singing together and other social events.

I think someone did set up a secular church somewhere in London??

Firstly I would suggest spending some time in the company of little children, ie children aged between about 2 1/2 and 5. They have such an inquisitive, positive outlook on life, it's contagious. They are too young to be cynical. Everything is interesting, everything is exciting and new, everything is fun.
They are challenging at times of course but, on the whole, young children are a joy to be around. They help you to see the world through fresh eyes and see the wonders in the everyday things we adults take for granted.

Secondly, I would suggest trying group singing. Join a local community choir and belt out some songs in the company of others. Singing forces you to breathe deeply, which is good for you, and it also releases some feelgood hormones.

Thirdly (and this is not from personal experience because I'm scared of water) I've heard that cold water swimming wakes up the senses and invigorates the spirit. If you like swimming, maybe you could join a local wildwater swimming club and give it go? Alternatively, I've heard that a cold shower can have the same effect - but you wouldn't of course have the social aspect of being part of a club.

Swimming in the sea