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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with my Husband?

26 replies

Help12345678901 · 05/05/2024 02:34

I want an unbiased opinion on what happened so i won’t give any other details than what happened

We landed at airport and get off plane together. DH has both passports in his pocket. He starts weaving in and out of people to get to passport control quicker.
I have to run to keep up.
At one point it gets congested so he has to stop. I catch up and say stoping making me run, he half laughs and then people start moving.

He goes off again weaving and i am struggling to catch up. When i catch i say “give me my passport” in a pissed off tone.
He give it to me and then we turn a corner and we are at the security queue so join the line.

While in the line he asks me generic questions and tries to talk. I am annoyed so i just answer yes , no and i don't know.
I don’t really want to talk at that point because i have had to run after him through an airport and I am annoyed.

We go through the passport scanners and he goes first. I go shortly after. I am not sure what happened here but when I got through he was nowhere in sight. I waited for a but incase he had to go for a actual check. Looked back and couldn't see him. Went down the next set of stairs, no sign of him. Wander around a bit looking for him. Text him and say have you left without me? He rings me and appears from round a corner.

I ask him why he is being a tit hiding round a corner (not my finest moment but i was annoyed) he said fuck you, you can get a taxi home and left the airport.

OP posts:
Unrealnotunrealistic · 05/05/2024 02:37

He abandoned you, his wife, at the airport, after swearing at you?

utilitarianism · 05/05/2024 02:42

Good grief. I'd be angry with him, absolutely, unless there's some reason why he was already angry with you, in which case it would still be immature of him to behave that way and then leave you behind.

But did he actually leave you at the airport? You didn't follow after him?

HAF1119 · 05/05/2024 02:42

No you're not unreasonable to be annoyed.

Bullying isn't funny, not in the playground and certainly not between a husband and wife. And that is what it is - he was told clearly he was upsetting you and chose to continue the behaviours knowing it would upset you more - hide from you to mock you, and then ditch you as the finale.

I'd be having a long hard think if I was you.

Guavafish1 · 05/05/2024 02:49

Both in someway childish behaviour.

Him running off....
You snapping at him...
Him hiding...
You calling him a title

After long journey dehydrated and sleep deprived, can lead to arguments.

But he should not have left you to get a taxis home Thats disgusting and abusive behaviour.

FlameTulip · 05/05/2024 02:52

How did he get home then? Did he really drive home and leave you to get a taxi? If so that is unacceptable.

Runnerinthenight · 05/05/2024 02:52

What a bastard!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/05/2024 02:56

I’m a slow walker. We sometimes agree that DH will go ahead to get the cases/pick up the car/go to the loo. Your DH was horrible.

FindingMeno · 05/05/2024 02:57

That's disgusting behaviour.
Don't waste your life with him.

HollyKnight · 05/05/2024 03:03

It sounds like two tired people getting more and more annoyed at each other because they're tired and want to get home. Neither of you were your best selves.

Seapsweetsesamethingy · 05/05/2024 03:06

What an annoying and very immature way to behave. It’s not you @Help12345678901 .

Starsandflowers · 05/05/2024 03:37

That is a crazy overreaction from him.
Airports are stressful and yeah you can end up being grumpy with each other...
But leaving you to make your own way home because you said something irritable to him, is nuts.
I'd be really cross.
Yeah you shouldn't have spoken to him in an arsey way... neither should he have rushed ahead without thinking about you... but that's all in the realms of normal airport stress imo. But as a couple you cut each other some slack till you get out of there... you certainly don't blow it all completely out of proportion and abandon your partner. He's a dickhead

useitorlose · 05/05/2024 03:43

My DH is long legged and impatient. He hates queueing and flies alone on business far more than he does with me.

When we land at an airport, he wants to zoom off as usual but recognises that I can't keep up. He will often be a little ahead but always checks that I'm close behind. I am an adult therefore I carry my own passport. If we reached the line and I wasn't next to him because someone else happened to get in just before me, he would ask them to let me past.

My DH is impatient. Yours is a dick.

Codlingmoths · 05/05/2024 04:09

He was horrible - nasty and very childish. I’d get my taxi to somewhere else to stay and let him work out on his own you weren’t going to turn up. I assume there aren’t children since they aren’t with you? I hope not!

Stillbeautiful · 05/05/2024 04:26

We've definitely had our fair share of fall-outs during travel. Both of us stressed and tired, one person does something (objectively) annoying, the other one snaps back in a way they wouldn't usually do, and before you know it, the whole thing has escalated. We are both quite hot-headed and I wouldn't put it past either of us to say "well just get your own taxi then" in that situation. So up until that point, it was neither here nor there for me.

The difference is that we'd have 100% still ended up getting a ride together, and would have been friends again by the time we were home.

If he actually left, that's a whole different story... I wouldn't be able to get over that as easily. Did you have a car parked at the airport that he drove home, or did you end up leaving in separate taxis? I hope you got home safely either way.

Shoxfordian · 05/05/2024 04:57

He sounds like a teenager not like an adult, it's really immature

bloodyplumbing · 05/05/2024 06:00

He sounds like a child, have you considered putting him on reins?

Amx · 05/05/2024 06:42

He left you at the airport? How did he get home?

WaltzingWaters · 05/05/2024 06:47

Did he actually leave you at the airport to get a taxi back?

Either way, he sounds like an immature arsehole.

ToDoListAddict · 05/05/2024 06:57

I had something similar happen after a flight with my husband. Once the plane landed he was speed walking to get to luggage claim and I was struggling to keep up with him as I had a bad knee which was sore after the long flight.
Once we got to baggage claim we were waiting ages and I was distressed and in pain.
He absolutely hates waiting for anything so was annoyed to be standing around waiting for the luggage.
I said, was it really worth practically running from the plane then?!

But the difference with us was, we had a conversation about his haste and his lack of regard for my pain and he apologised- he was just so fixated on getting out the airport. He realised that there was no point in racing off if he was going to end up standing around. The next trip he was a lot more patient and slowed down.

If he had swore at me and left me to make my own way home, I don't think we'd still be married to be honest!

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 05/05/2024 06:58

I'd be annoyed if dh ran ahead at the airport. I'd also be annoyed if he disappeared.

Calling him a tit isn't nice but his reaction was totally over the top.

abracadabra1980 · 05/05/2024 07:02

bloodyplumbing · 05/05/2024 06:00

He sounds like a child, have you considered putting him on reins?

🤣🤣🤣

Nottherealslimshady · 05/05/2024 07:09

What a dick. What was the point in rushing to passport control when he has your passport? He would still have to wait for you. And what's the point in rushing off when you're both going to the same car? He would still have to wait for you. And longer becuase, as shown, time then gets wasted finding eachother.

He was being a dick and you got frustrated with his shitty behaviour and told him, you're allowed to be angry with someone for the way they treat you. But you can't get angry at someone for being upset at YOUR behaviour.

Luio · 05/05/2024 07:13

Either you haven’t told us the full story or he overreacted. You sound like you were both driving each other crazy.

Nicole1111 · 05/05/2024 09:00

Is behaviour like this a one off, as with kindness, this sounds like an absolute shit show.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/05/2024 09:04

He left you at the airport?! I wouldn’t be annoyed, I’d be incandescent!