Parent scammed out of £250,000

[scamchild]

Posting here for traffic but I guess it is aibu in some sense as I have no idea what to do.

This is the 4th time my parent has been scammed out of a large sum of money. This time an inheritance lump sum.

She's a Covid denier. She thinks banks can't be trusted and will collapse and a complete conspiracy theory freak. I'm wondering if she is mentally unwell given she's done this 4 times.

She's given £250k to "coinbase" and "gold" only it's a "gmail" account. And written in bad English. And various other things. I can't get an answer out of her. How much? When? Why? How? She's confused and seems to think she's only lost a small amount but also says she has nothing left. So £250k is gone. She communicates to scammers on "telegram"

Help me!!!! I literally dont know what to do.

Called bank and they are useless. They will only deal with her. The password she gave me for bank doesn't work! I've called action fraud but have limited info.
She lives a flight away so I can't meet her easily.

Refer to SS as a vulnerable adult. Speak to the police.

Why do you assume all the money is lost? The bank might be able to reclaim it or have an obligation to refund if they failed to follow their vulnerable customer or financial crime policies. How was she permitted to override flags and warning messages? Lodge a complaint on her behalf and go to the ombudsman if needs be. Has contact with the scammer ceased or is she likely to resume? Bear in mind once one scammer is successful, others often follow as her details will be shared.

The police said "unlikely to get it back".

We don't know about the flags that the bank raised. The bank wouldn't talk to us as it's not our account and she is meant to be going in today but her recollection of events is usually poor and muddled. I will try to find out more.

It's a bank holiday so they won't be open.

It is a bank holiday in most of UK today. She can give you authority to speak to the bank on her behalf.

@LIZS yes that's true. She's not in England. Another part of uk so I wasn't sure of holidays.

I wasn't sure she could give us authority. Will try that.

I've never been this frustrated in all my life.

Right now she's burying her head in sand and won't talk about it. Saying she's tired or needs to work etc to get out of it when questions get tough. I can't reach her on phone right now. No idea where she is.

Fuck sake I would be so cross. I wonder why she's so calm?

You need to report this to Action Fraud OP:

https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/

It’s concerning behaviour, I’d want to visit a family member if this type of thing was happening. Is it at all possible?

Not sure if it will help but there was an item on the BBC website about the fraud factories in the last week or so - it had links to charities & banking organisations that can help victims. I can't for the life of me find it though.

Just sending a hand hold. It's incredibly frustrating especially if she is muddled and not able to tell the police everything.

If she refuses to accept she's lost £250k there's very little you can do. Certainly don't lend her money. I'd say explain to her how worrying and disturbing all this is, and you've warned her as best you can about scammers. If she refuses to listen to your advice or that if the world at large then you're going to have to cut contact. There's no point even speaking to her if she won't see sense and it's upsetting for you. If there's no other family member who can get through to her, I think you'll have to just step back and accept she's like that and won't change.

I'm sure that's not correct; I have POA for my mother's medical and financial affairs. She had to agree but she didn't have to apply for it (it would never have got done), I did that online.

OP, do you know how many transactions there were and whether they were large enough or frequent enough that they should have triggered an intervention by the bank? How is your mother buying phones and sending money, etc., what method?

Agree about Scamwarners as PP has posted. If you can't speak with your mother's bank that's going to be very difficult too. Worrying for you.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

She was in some cases going to a well known technology shop and buying £2000 worth of phones and shipping them

When asked why she said "the bloke told me to for his gold contacts so we could release the funds" and "you don't understand how trust wallet works, you don't get it" honestly it's garbage.

In most cases there are 100s of cash withdrawal entries. She used cash to buy phones and shop them out.

There are other transactions.

We checked back a year and 4 months and there are maybe 1000 plus dodgy transactions. Bitcoin, PayPal, lots of references that are clearly bollocks "councilll tax" (that was £9000 in one month) cash withdrawls, trust wallets. There are like 50 or so individual scams going on that a quick look by me showed.

Gosh, that's horrendous.

As you're not in this country could you contact your Mum's local council for some advice? If they can just get you in touch with the bank (having seen the disaster that is your Mum's finances), that would at least help you get started.

The bank shouldn't be allowing payments like 'Councill Tax', they would know that it's not going to your Mum's council where she's resident. I think they should take some responsibility for that.

I'd be beside myself with frustration. Do you have any relatives at all in the UK, other than your Mum?

if social services won't get involved because she 'has capacity' spin her a conspiracy theory that the internet will fry he brain - will keep her away from future scammers.

You need to get court or protection power of attorney and get control of her money. You can then dispense an allowance etc (if you want to be in charge of this- or someone else if you prefer) she cannot be trusted to have access to her own finances. She is clearly mentally unwell and needs help. You need to intervene. If you're both within the UK she can't be that far away. If you love her and care for her then get the wheels in motion to protect her.

I was thinking of the council's trading standards - and get them to engage with the SS adult services team to start with. Coercion is what this looks like and it's going to get to the stage where OP's Mum will have nothing left at all if this can't be stopped.

OP - local MP? Ours does all kinds, he's pretty good. He may be able to apply pressure to the council departments needed so that they can take a multi-agency approach to it - with the objective of getting you to your Mum's bank account and taking control of it before she loses it all.

Technically she does have to make the application herself. It is her decision, and she should have a full understanding of what she is applying for and why.

someone else of course can assist with paperwork and send it off, but the donor should have enough capacity to fully understand that they are applying for POA and what that means.

no one should be doing it “for” them. Like our relative who simply did all the forms, said here sign this, and sent it off.

Ammsterdamning, OP isn't in the UK, her Mum is.

Which bank is it? There are strict protocols in place around this sort of thing. They absolutely can talk to you with a POA (you sound very passive- that needs urgently sorting) but in the mean time the police can speak to the bank on her behalf. She absolutely can get the money back but in certain situations it may need to go through the financial ombudsman if the bank are not playing ball. You need to take charge of this situation and stop being so passive.

She said a flight away but still within the UK. Which suggests they're both in the UK.

This is a huge issue on the part of the bank. Which bank is it? I may be able to help point you in the right direction (I have vast experience within Barclays, Lloyds Banking Group and Nationwide)

Ime social services did get involved, even with capacity.

they were brilliant. Full assessments. Got some home help, got them out and about to groups and such so they weren’t reliant on their abuser for company, shopping etc. got them control of their bank accounts again with the help of the couples other child. Recorded their wishes should they lose capacity etc so no one could fraudulently apply for POA or make them sell their house etc.

put a lot of safeguards in place to try and make relative aware that there money was being taken.

when ss works well they’re invaluable. So it’s definitely worth drawing their attention.

Report to the bank, especially if she's muddled/confused and is classed as vulnerable. I'd be amazed if the bank didn't refund all the money. The police are right, they can't do much, but the police getting the money back is very different to her getting the money back from the bank - that should happen for sure in this case.