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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask DP to stop taking DS to work

6 replies

500sense · 05/05/2024 00:42

DS is 15. He turns 16 later this summer and is in year 10. He's supposed to be year 11 but his attendance and behaviour last year was awful and so the school gave him another chance.

His behaviour has improved a bit and so did his attendance. Until after Christmas when he started refusing to go because he couldn't be bothered, DP owns his own business and he'd take him to work with him and get him to help him out, this was maybe once every few weeks.

However, he hasn't been all this week due to not being bothered, DP took him to work all week and he enjoyed it although DS has said DP doesn't let him do much so he sits in his office on his phone and I think this is why he isn't going to school.

He's already said he's not going on Tuesday, I've asked DP not to take him to work but he's been saying he can't be trusted to be on his own etc and thinks I'm BU as he's just trying to help

AIBU

OP posts:
ArchaeoSpy · 05/05/2024 00:52

problem is you cannot win on either point

500sense · 05/05/2024 05:36

.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 05/05/2024 08:43

If your ds isn’t going to school, realistically you can’t force him. His cohort is just about to take their GCSEs and this is perhaps why your ds is disengaging. Idk. It’s really difficult to talk to teens this age if they don’t want to engage.

It is tough but it’s time for a decision to be made. He either goes to school or he goes somewhere else next year. If he really isn’t going to continue you could find a college course, which will give him the chance to get maths and English. Idk what your ds likes to do. Just for example he could do level 1 business if he takes an interest in what your dp does. Or construction etc. I get he should have applied before. But there may still be a chance for him to go to the local college.

Everydayimhuffling · 05/05/2024 08:49

I would think about tackling the not going to school, rather than worrying about what he will do if he doesn't go. For example, why does he have his phone on a day he's not going to school? He's either at home or with his dad, so he doesn't need to communicate with anyone.

Createausername1970 · 05/05/2024 08:50

Is DP's plan to employ DS once he has left school? If this is viable, then I would let it be.

Ideally DS takes his GCSEs, but it's not the end of the world if he doesn't. He can always resit them in the future.

XMissPlacedX · 05/05/2024 09:50

Well at least he isn't sitting around watching the TV playing games, your DP may be taking him in to make sure he isn't doing nothing. As pp have said, you can't force your ds to go to school , only encourage him. I have 4 dc two of which like school and two of which don't so I know the struggle. If dp is planning on employing ds then I would also let it be.

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