To think others don’t have to put up with this degree of emotional blackmail from parents?

[Struggling33]

Said when I was growing up: ‘Your father is going to have a heart attack and die any day and it will all be your fault because you’re such a difficult child.’

Honestly, is this just the sort of thing parents say sometimes in the heat of the moment? Or is it really not acceptable?

I ask because I feel pretty affected by it. Yet I genuinely don’t know whether I’m oversensitive or whether my feelings are justified.

My mother repeatedly told me I was a product of rape and that she should have had me aborted. she was also constantly threatening to put me in a kids' home and telling me she had taken an overdose.
Although it's not normal, I think it's more uncommen than you would think.

I mean, it's more common than you, think or less uncommon. doh.

Mine used to say very similar, as did my grandma. It damaged me in ways I cannot describe. It's still affecting me now and I'm middle aged.

Such sad stories here. It does make me feel a little better to know I’m not the only one still affected by these things.

I used to have terrible nightmares as a child, I struggled with them for a long time, into adulthood. My parents had 4 young children and it was often a case of musical beds. My dad, who was an air force pilot, would often end up sleeping in one of the children's beds. When I was about 6 or 7 years old my grandmother told me that it would be my fault if he crashed his plane and died due to lack of sleep.

Lovely!

I had comments like this, still do if I bring up any kind of issues. Emotional blackmail and guilt translated into me becoming a complete people pleaser, to my own detriment. Still struggling to this day with putting everyone else above myself constantly. Still feel like my feelings don’t matter as much as literally anyone else’s.
I recognise it now at least. I’m trying to change. I think therapy would help. If you feel it would help you (and can afford it), do it.
It took me having my own kids to realise how awful it was, and how I could never treat mine this way. Sending ❤️ to you op, and everyone on this thread who has had this to deal with. I hope we can all heal and move on xxx

Grey hairs blamed on children was normal growing up, threats of death from stress, no