To want to know what's going on with teen DS

[AIBunnecessary]

My teen DS went to live with his father 6 months ago. They have moved house and I am not allowed to know where they live, in regards to seeing the other kids (one day every other weekend) he turns off all locations etc and tells them to not tell me where they go.

DS has completely cut me off, texts are one word replies, I have no idea what is going on in his life, he has taken him abroad without telling me (I only found out because school rang me) etc etc. I text throughout the week, ask to see him but he won't commit (I think he's also now reliant on dad to bring him as obv I don't know where to pick him up from and it's far enough he has to be dropped at school and I live right by school)

I don't really know what to do, everyone says keep trying with him and eventually he'll figure his dad out for himself but it's absolutely killing me inside I barely know him now and see him perhaps one a month despite asking for more. The siblings barely see each other and it's effecting them.

Ex is not a reasonable person, classic has affair, personality change, no maintenance, won't have the kids more than one day a fortnight, won't speak to me direct only through the kids etc. just difficult.

I cannot afford mediation - I work but struggle, I pay maintenance to ex, he quit his job when DS moved in, I do all childcare for younger kids and juggle that and work etc.

Oh that's horrible for you. How old is your son? I know you say he's a teen, but that could be 13 to 18 if he's still in school.

What was your relationship like with your son when he was younger? Is his dad playing Disney Dad now and if so, can he keep that up?

Why are you paying child support when you have the other children to look after? How come your ex could give up work to "look after" a teenage boy and get away without paying for the other children? That's outrageous.

Son gets DLA and so his dad gave up work to become his carer. Son does have a disability but not anything that stops him being independent, he can still go out with friends etc he is 15 so ex could easily work full time. I am sure DS living there was a financial move by ex. Before this he was seeing son only every other week and DS didn't want to go most of the time. That's what also gets me is the fact he didn't want to see his dad or stay a few months before he then went to live there. He is meant to pay £6 a week child support for our other children but doesn't and so far they haven't managed to deduct anything.

He is def Disney dad, brought him a games console and promised him his DLA money as pocket money. I also think a big part of it is hun just having his dad to himself and getting time with his dad if he lives with him which he didn't get before as his dad is so inconsistent.

I think if ex was more consistent seeing the other children or sharing care (I would be okay with 50/50) I would be more relaxed with it as a huge stress is the kids not being together. DS is eldest and youngest is only 5 so they aren't growing up together.