I have a friend (Mary) who had a really tough year last year - DV, homelessness, long term sickness etc. I don't live near her, we see each other very occasionally and our friendship is very much conducted through telephone/ WhatsApp. Anyway, long story short, Mary and her DD (13) ended up moving in with my friend's other friend, let's call her Jane, who lives in the same town as Mary. I'm not keen on Jane (think strong and unpopular religious views, very opinionated, very clingy), and I believe she took massive advantage of Mary whilst she was at her most vulnerable lowest ebb (she would get Mary to pay for all her shopping for her family (DH &2DD's) - £300/week!!, get her to pay for all the pet care (food, cat litter, vet's bills etc), get her to provide childcare as and when (whole weekends where she would spend the whole time in bed!).... just really very manipulative and exploitative.
Jane is the type of person who 'wants' things with no thought of what is required to look after them. For example, she 'wanted' a dog, so bought a fluffy, cute, adorable Alsation puppy. This was ok but puppies grow, and the dog had not been socialised or trained in any way, even house trained. At night it was locked in a cage in the kitchen in it's own excrement. In the day it was left alone in the back yard, barking and causing a nuisance. It was unruly and pulled on it's lead when walking and the children were scared of it. In the end they had to get rid of it.
Whilst Mary was there, Jane decided she wanted a new cat (she already has two she doesn't bother with - she makes her primary age kids clean out the litter tray and feed them cos she 'doesn't like the germs ' (more like can't be arsed)). They are house cats and spend all their time hiding. But Jane didn't want just any cat, she wanted a Maine Coon cat (one of the largest domestic breeds and around £800 - £1000 for a pure breed kitten. And Jane wanted it as a present from Mary. They searched on the Internet and found a 'breeder' who was selling Maine Coon kittens for £350 (🚩🚩🚩), so they went to have a look. Mary described this place as an animal farm..... there were tiny cages of cats and kittens locked up, rows and rows of tanks with various exotic pets, the whole place was dirty..... in all, it was clearly obvious that this 'breeder' had no interest in animal welfare, just ££'s. They ended up bringing home a tiny kitten, must have been about 6 weeks old.... not vaccinated, not wormed or de-fleaed and not microchipped. When Mary told me about this place, I expressed my disgust and told her that these horrific people only do what they do to meet demand, and if no one bought the animals, they wouldn't be able to exploit them in the way that they do. Mary agreed whole heartedly.... 'yes yes yes, I know, yes', and said that she had reported the breeder to the RSPCA and HMRC..... but justified buying the kitten by saying that Jane REALLY wanted one (the fact that she bought it is bad enough, but I'm also angry with Jane for making Mary (who was at the time homeless, on long term sick, earning SSP, with a daughter to provide for, needing to be saving every penny for the unknown), spend £350 on a gift for her at her insistence!).
Whist living at Jane's, Mary became very attached to the kitten and it followed her around everywhere. She took it to (and paid for) vet's checks and paid for its vaccination course (of which it only has the first one because Jane couldn't be bothered to take it for its second and now too much time has elapsed and the whole course needs to be started again). Surprise, surprise it isn't even a pure breed Maine Coon!
In February, Mary was housed with her DD in a neat little second floor flat. I was really pleased for her as she needed to be away from Jane and her some independence and her own space back. Mary, her DD and her two cats (not Jane's cats, but Mary's) moved in and she seemed in a better place mentally. Mary told me that she wanted to get another cat to cheer her DD up. After the bad breeder, and the fact she was unemployed by now, on benefits, I suggested that she look for a rescue cat that needed a new start as they were the most needy and would be the best thing to do. She agreed fully and a couple of weeks later sent me a gorgeous photo of a tiny little kitten. She said she'd got him from the RSPCA. I did think at the time that it was a bit quick, and she'd never mentioned about having a home visit or anything, but as I don't see her often, I didn't think too much of it. It is only this last week, when she took him to the vets to be vaccinated and microchipped, and sent me a photo of him now (with those give away pointy ears), that I twigged. I checked and RSPCA don't rehome animals without microchips and at least the first vaccination, and they don't rehome kittens to be house cats. I google searched and there is no RSPCA centre anywhere near where she lives. I asked her where she got him from again. Again, she told me she rescued him from the RSPCA and he wasn't a pedigree cat like Jane's, he was a moggy. I said I was sorry but did she REALLY get him from the RSPCA as they microchip and vaccinate etc before rehoming. It was only then she came clean to me that she went back and bought him from that awful breeder. She said she paid half at Christmas (before she even knew that the flat would even be available) and the rest when she moved in. I would say that the mother was pregnant when she reserved him, he was so little. I'm so sad, angry, and upset with her, not only for fueling the evil exploitative trade, but for lying to me about it.... twice! Those irresponsible breeders only want money and it is only because of people like her that they exist. I'm REALLY upset that she would do this. I've ignored all her messages since as I'm angry and I don't want to say something I'll regret, but I genuinely don't know what to say to her. This has rocked me and my moral beliefs. She said she wanted to rescue him and give him a good home...... which is fine..... but what about his poor brothers and sisters, and his poor mother who is forced to have more litters than her body can cope with. Cruelty to the extreme, and I'm angry with Mary for not seeing the bigger picture. What do I say to her?