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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just feel so tired (literally)

9 replies

Downbad75 · 04/05/2024 00:00

I'm the kind of person who doesn't stop a lot during the week. I get up at 5.30 twice a week and out the flat for about 14 hours then get up between 6.30/7 the other 3 when I WFH. I work full time and do a lot of exercise during the week ie running, dog walks and weights. It gets to Friday evening and I'm just so tired I can't stay awake. I end up falling asleep on the sofa around 9pm. I love my productive mornings but my DP is really fed up with me going to bed so early on Friday nights. AIBU to be unable to stay awake and interact? Should I be trying to change something to stay up? Note that DP doesn't really exercise and gets up around 9am for WFH everyday.

OP posts:
mossylog · 04/05/2024 00:17

It could just be tiredness from very active lifestyle (and understandable at that) but you could also be getting chronic sleep debt in the week that stacks up if you're getting up so early.

Either way, early bed time is not a big deal. I'm sure he can amuse himself without you.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 04/05/2024 00:20

It doesn't sound very healthy, to be knackering yourself out so much.

How much sleep do you get on an average night?

PieFaces · 04/05/2024 00:21

Get some bloods done. Iron. B12. Thyroid.

Maybe there’s a compromise to be had .. he could get up earlier and go to bed earlier, while to stay up a little later?

WishesPromised · 04/05/2024 00:21

Can you have a Friday late afternoon nap?
You have a busy schedule and tbh I'm not surprised you're knackered by the end of the week.

PieFaces · 04/05/2024 00:23

I’m very similar to you, I keep very busy with work, family and exercise.My DH doesn’t mind that I’m hanging last thing.

MagnusCanis · 04/05/2024 00:46

It's no wonder you're tired by Friday night (yet you managed to post this at literally midnight on Saturday...).

Is it possible you're just not compatible with each other?

Downbad75 · 04/05/2024 07:24

MagnusCanis · 04/05/2024 00:46

It's no wonder you're tired by Friday night (yet you managed to post this at literally midnight on Saturday...).

Is it possible you're just not compatible with each other?

Had already been asleep on the sofa for a few hours and woke up... Hence the post as it caused some irritation that I'd been asleep most of the evening!

OP posts:
Skethylita · 04/05/2024 08:09

I am like you, OP.

I get 4h sleep most weekdays because of my lifestyle - single mum, high-powered job, exercise, hobbies. Weekends and during leave I tend to sleep a bit more, maybe 6-8h. I am always awake by 6am, workdays a lot earlier than that, and use that time productively. But Friday nights are a write-off; the adrenaline I experience every day due to work wears off that night.

My ex husband used to get annoyed, too, but conversely used to think nothing of falling asleep on the sofa during the day on a weekend and expected to be left to it.

In the end it was just another way in which our lives differed significantly; we worked on different timelines.

It'll be down to both of you to find a way to work with your differences. Trying to keep awake for the sake of him will cause you resentment. Likewise, having a partner who is always asleep when you want to spend time with them is boring.

Having said that, maybe you need to both change how you spend your time together? If it's watching TV, it is no wonder you're falling asleep; it's not exactly mentally stimulating. I used to keep awake a lot more when we used to play board games during the evenings.

NotaNorovirusFan · 04/05/2024 08:32

The problem is you have incompatible lifestyles. I have been in the same situation, my ex h always got up late and stayed up late while I got up early to exercise and trained for ultramarathons so i was always tired by 9pm and ex h would get annoyed that I wouldn’t stay up late to spend time with him.

Now I'm single so can go to bed at the same time as my kids and no one complains!

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